200 Days and Counting

Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
I committed to cutting porn out of my life after watching Gary Wilson's Tedx talk "The Great Porn Experiment". Honestly, it just popped up on my youtube suggested videos at random. This was 3 days ago. Hearing the neurological effects of porn made me realize that I need to cut that shit out. I quit chewing tobacco 5,186 days ago using a forum similar to this. It made such a huge difference in my life. Everything I learned about addiction through that process rang true for the role porn plays (played) in my life. I need to rewire my brain and be a better man for myself and the people who depend on me.

I need to cut porn out completely and allow myself to be physically and emotionally available to my wife. I'm committed, and I'm glad I found this community as a way to connect with others about a topic that I never really discuss otherwise. One day at a time. I've got this!
 
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Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 4 - had some down time after everyone else was asleep last night and played a game of online chess. I just started playing 6 weeks ago. I hope this will be a positive alternative and not something that contributes to being distant in a new way. I almost feel addicted to chess in a way. Each game is novel and I get that dopamine hit when something goes my way. My immediate goal is to find some activity that I can do with my wife after kids are in bed. Maybe a board game, maybe The Office, maybe sex.
I’m glad I found this forum. Reading other people’s stories is cementing the damaging effects of porn for me, and demonstrating the positive impacts of cutting it out. I appreciate how honest and vulnerable people are in their discussions here.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
You are in the right place. Keep going. If you get the urge for porn just go on this site and write something.
Good luck
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 7 - Thanks GBS. I’m leaving for a trip to Iceland this afternoon. I’m excited to mix things up and get out of my routine.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 10 - had some crazy dreams last night. Combo of sex, disc golf, Germans, chewing tobacco, and police chase.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
@Zeile - I promise I will read your journal every time you write. It will help me. Many others will read yours and not “like” or comment but that doesn’t mean you’re not a huge source of inspiration. So carry that with pride as you keep going. We’re all here for you and we all want exactly the same thing.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 11. Ah, no worries. I’m not concerned with likes or views - although I really appreciate your support. Honestly, I’m over 5,000 days quit from chewing tobacco and I’m hoping that how seriously I take my daily pledge on killthecan will transfer onto this issue as well. I joined an alcohol quit group as well 6 days ago. I don’t have a complicated story; I just want to cut porn and alcohol out of my routine, so I can be fully present for my family. These vices do nothing positive for me besides unnecessary distraction from life. One day at a time!
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 12. This is easy in Iceland. I’m building accountability for when I return home. I know I will be tested.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 13. I won’t recount the dream I had last night because it was basically a porn flick on acid. I’m assuming this is my brain rewiring itself, screaming for a fix. Not today, you sinister Neural Pathways.
 
GBS

GBS

Respected Member
Yo @Zeile - your brain has many many tricks up his sleeve. If you look out for them it’s almost comical how obvious they are. It’s a straight fight to the death. You v your brain. My moneys on you.
 
Zeile

Zeile

Active Member
Day 14. Researching the brain science is really helpful to me. Intense cravings are a symptom of my brain healing. Bring it on, I say.

On another note, this is probably the first time in 30 years I’ve gone without porn* for 2 whole weeks.

• if porn includes the Sears catalogue and my mom’s Jane Fonda workout videos. Maybe even a She-ra action figure.
 
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