Hey, I totally feel this.
I recently started working with a therapist who has experience with sex therapy, porn use and addiction and it has been SUPER helpful. Even just having someone to talk to about these things without the fear of judgement or that it's going to hurt them was a huge weight off my shoulders. Also, she's been able to give me great insights on what's going on, tips on how to move forward and just generally help me not feel like a POS because I'm dealing with this.
Anyway, I'd totally recommend seeking professional help if you are in a position to. I was resistant to it for years and now that I've started, I wish I had started way sooner