I am ready to break from Porn forever! 90 Day Journal (29 Year Old)
- Thread starter readytobefree
- Start date
M
MoonWatcher
Guest
I've just read your journal for the period beginning 8th December. First of all, good job with the overhaul of the first post in the thread! You've really set out what you want, the problems you've had and why you're doing this. If you're having troubles you can read that back and hopefully it'll give you that push to keep going.
You're doing so well! You've fought off some really heavy urges and even won against your own subconscious. You're really going to get there! It's good that you're finding ways to fill your time. Try to diversify in case you get bored of one thing or the other and just can't bring yourself to do it. You mentioned the guitar, so if you haven't already, why not pick it up and get practicing? Drawing too. That's a great one to get back into. I suck at it myself but on a day when I felt really awful and defeated I just cleared a space at the table, got some paper and a pencil and just let my mind wander and made a design. I felt so much better afterwards and during.
Finally, I'd just like to point out that you really seem to be pinning a lot on this streak. Things are clearly really tough for you at the moment, and I'm sorry to hear that, but this streak is not the only good thing in your life. Think about what you've accomplished in reaching out to your mother after so long and also your prospects for the future. I don't know how your boss' proposition went down, but if it's given you something should the worst happen with your current job, then you can at least know that you've got that. If not, you'll find something new, and it will be a totally fresh start which shouldn't be difficult for you anymore now that you've been able to succeed in making a fresh start in your lifestyle in general.
I'm not saying that this streak isn't important, and of clearly is very important to you. Hold on to it and I really hope this is your 90 day streak, but if you do relapse you will be able to start again, like you've done before. Sure, it's a setback, but you're a stronger man than you were at the start of this journey and each attempt has made you even stronger. Take that built up experience, keep adding to it and keep your eyes on the prize! Think of it this way, if you're practicing the guitar and you break a string it's a setback and you might not play for a while before replacing it, but when you'll still be a guitarist when you do. No sense in burning the guitar instead of replacing the string, right?
You've mentioned thoughts of suicide, and you might want to talk about that with someone. I'm sure there will be free services near to you where you can do that with someone appropriately trained, even if it is just online, but if you'd like to you're welcome to send me a private message if you want to talk to me about it.
You're doing so well! You've fought off some really heavy urges and even won against your own subconscious. You're really going to get there! It's good that you're finding ways to fill your time. Try to diversify in case you get bored of one thing or the other and just can't bring yourself to do it. You mentioned the guitar, so if you haven't already, why not pick it up and get practicing? Drawing too. That's a great one to get back into. I suck at it myself but on a day when I felt really awful and defeated I just cleared a space at the table, got some paper and a pencil and just let my mind wander and made a design. I felt so much better afterwards and during.
Finally, I'd just like to point out that you really seem to be pinning a lot on this streak. Things are clearly really tough for you at the moment, and I'm sorry to hear that, but this streak is not the only good thing in your life. Think about what you've accomplished in reaching out to your mother after so long and also your prospects for the future. I don't know how your boss' proposition went down, but if it's given you something should the worst happen with your current job, then you can at least know that you've got that. If not, you'll find something new, and it will be a totally fresh start which shouldn't be difficult for you anymore now that you've been able to succeed in making a fresh start in your lifestyle in general.
I'm not saying that this streak isn't important, and of clearly is very important to you. Hold on to it and I really hope this is your 90 day streak, but if you do relapse you will be able to start again, like you've done before. Sure, it's a setback, but you're a stronger man than you were at the start of this journey and each attempt has made you even stronger. Take that built up experience, keep adding to it and keep your eyes on the prize! Think of it this way, if you're practicing the guitar and you break a string it's a setback and you might not play for a while before replacing it, but when you'll still be a guitarist when you do. No sense in burning the guitar instead of replacing the string, right?
You've mentioned thoughts of suicide, and you might want to talk about that with someone. I'm sure there will be free services near to you where you can do that with someone appropriately trained, even if it is just online, but if you'd like to you're welcome to send me a private message if you want to talk to me about it.
readytobefree
Active Member
Moon watcher your post really resonated with me. The streak became the only thing in my life for awhile which was crazy and I was starting to see it.
In the early stages, the streak is important because the first month I would reckon is the hardest and you need to constantly remind yourself why you are doing it. However, After a while you get bored of staring at your streak and go out and DO things.
I think journalling is important but after some time, the urge to post everyday goes lower and lower. You start to awaken again.
Let's cut to the chase guys, it's true that abstaining from PMO will really change your life. But you have to:
1) Exercise and Watch your health
2) Work on your Career
3) Forge meaningful relationships
So guys I'm going to post again far into the future, when I've done the 90 days. I'll be back.
In the early stages, the streak is important because the first month I would reckon is the hardest and you need to constantly remind yourself why you are doing it. However, After a while you get bored of staring at your streak and go out and DO things.
I think journalling is important but after some time, the urge to post everyday goes lower and lower. You start to awaken again.
Let's cut to the chase guys, it's true that abstaining from PMO will really change your life. But you have to:
1) Exercise and Watch your health
2) Work on your Career
3) Forge meaningful relationships
So guys I'm going to post again far into the future, when I've done the 90 days. I'll be back.
M
MoonWatcher
Guest
Then I'll wish you the very best of luck! Looking forward to hearing about how it's gone. In the meantime if you do need to post, remember the option's always there, as is my offer of sending PMs if that's something you feel would help you at any point.
You've got the drive to do this and you've built up a good amount of knowledge and experience from the journey so far. Keep your eyes on that goal and keep pushing for it!
You've got the drive to do this and you've built up a good amount of knowledge and experience from the journey so far. Keep your eyes on that goal and keep pushing for it!
thecatcher4437
Member
Can't wait to see you later man. Keep it going strong.