It is so true. Unfortunately most people probably think of performance. They can let go this performance fear after some age if porn is not part of their life.
Getting back to reality
- Thread starter SajithKR
- Start date
Day 101: Wow crossed a major milestone. Thank God and all the people in the forum who have assisted and inspired me to achieve this. I bow down to all of you. I am sure I would have not reached this stage without this website and your support. The battle is won, but the war continues. There are others in the family that I need to pull out, but it is hard as long as they don't acknowledge that they have a problem.
Day 133: Days are going by as ordinary days. There is no urge to return to PMO or any view any sexy material. I mostly watch 13+ age group videos to be safe. Not very interesting for 40+ adult, but it is much better than the guilt and shame. It is a change of mid-set. Not sure if this approach is feasible for younger people. Sometimes I think that my sex urge has gone down a lot. No issue with performance, I even had sex with my wife today, but I am not thinking about sex. This is ok for a married guy like me, but this might freak out young guys.
Day 193: I should be feeling great that I have not seen porn for 193 days, but I am not. I now got this habit of staying up late in the night and watching some endless series till I get tired. Else I am struggling to sleep. I only used to watch family-rated shows, but last night I did derail a bit and watched some romantic movies and scrolled through to just watch the nude scenes. I would have gone all the way to stroke my dick, but at least I resisted that. Not sure what I was thinking. After going through all the trouble of reaching this stage. Today I feel a bit horny and there is an urge to release and difficulty working. Maybe it is because I did not have sex for the last 1 month as there is a misunderstanding with my wife. Some mild quarrel. Even before, I did not feel so great about staying away from porn. The only benefit I could feel was that I was not having the urge for PMO and no guilt and reduction in self-esteem due to it. It felt normal to not watch Prorn. I still hope I don't derail. It is too difficult to come out of it if I break this. So I am back. Writing a post helps me to understand what is good for me and what I really want. PMO is an urge, but I really don't want that life.
Do you think you might have a phone addiction? You might try limiting your time on your phone to minutes at a fixed time each day. See if your anxiety and restlessness drop. Not right before bed.
After 250 days, I gave up and re-lapsed. Now I am back to what I was before. Not keeping away PMO for more than 2-3 days. So I am back in the ditch. Let me again start from 0. This is my day 0. Maybe you are right that I have phone addition and that is leading me back to PMO. Or the main issue is that I don't have any other entertainment. I need to find some other entertainment. Not sure how it is possible at age 44 if I could not do that till now.
cookiemonster
Active Member
Looking forward to seeing you build up a streak
What activities could you join in real life? Do you like hiking? Singing? Activism? Animals? Dancing? Learning to become a better public speaker? Give it some thought.
Huh? Do you realize that every addict feels better immediately after using? And yet returning to the addiction means that long-term you cannot get out of this loop. And it tends to be a downward spiral.
Most attics use, not for the pleasure, but to relieve the withdrawal symptoms that you described. If you self medicate with your addiction, you cannot get your brain back into balance.
Gave up after 8 days. The urge is coming in waves. I had not had real sex for 2 months. There is no real bond with my wife. Married for more than 17 years and having two kids. Sex with her is always a struggle. She has pain even after using lubrication. She does not like any foreplay. Does not like me touching her boobs even though I am very gentle. So it is more like mechanical and usually pushes me away many times when she gets pain. So each time it is a struggle. With a lot of patience, when I finally penetrate fully she wants me to go fast. Does not like me laying on her. So basically she wants only my pennies to touch her. I was ok when I was younger. Last time, I stopped halfway and walked away. I said, why should I do sex if it is painful for you? When I was young, I was ok with it. In my culture and family divorce is not welcome. I too don't have any such plans. Is this a good excuse to use porn once in 10 days? As a highly introvert person with no friends and no other bad habits, I need some relief. On top of this my teenage boy is giving me a tough time. This relapse is mainly to relieve myself from a stressful situation I had with him.
Try reading about “sensate touch “ or “bonding behaviours”. If you and your wife can teach yourselves daily, affectionate touch, even for a few moments, I think she may thaw out a bit. But this will mean leaving sex off the table for a little while longer.
Again back to 0. This time I can't blame anyone. I just gave in to addiction. Just browsing through YouTube and not finding anything to take my full attention. My mind is not clear now. Has to bring back clarity. Now I am in an unreal world of illusion. If anything disturbed this, I will find some excuse to use PMO to get back to this world of illusion. Hard to face reality when the reality is so boring. Need to shut down YouTube usage for a while. I find it hard as I do share market trading and I get a lot of good info from YouTube that helped me earn extra money. So cutting off from YouTube is tough. Instead, I am planning to use it only as a PodCast and go for a walk and just listen to it. Well, I tried that today morning, but it did not help. It just distracted me from the pleasure of walking. So again a distraction from reality. Man, it is hard to live without indulging in distractions in today's world.
Day4. Holding on. The end of day 3 was not great with some big quarrels with the teenage son for blocking his wifi internet access at night and asking him to go and sleep, but I could go and sleep well. Not watching YouTube or even listening to some podcasts (even though the content is excellent) helped me to stay calm and have a less cluttered mind. A calm mind is much more important than knowing all the things going on in the world.