Day 193: I should be feeling great that I have not seen porn for 193 days, but I am not. I now got this habit of staying up late in the night and watching some endless series till I get tired. Else I am struggling to sleep. I only used to watch family-rated shows, but last night I did derail a bit and watched some romantic movies and scrolled through to just watch the nude scenes. I would have gone all the way to stroke my dick, but at least I resisted that. Not sure what I was thinking. After going through all the trouble of reaching this stage. Today I feel a bit horny and there is an urge to release and difficulty working. Maybe it is because I did not have sex for the last 1 month as there is a misunderstanding with my wife. Some mild quarrel. Even before, I did not feel so great about staying away from porn. The only benefit I could feel was that I was not having the urge for PMO and no guilt and reduction in self-esteem due to it. It felt normal to not watch Prorn. I still hope I don't derail. It is too difficult to come out of it if I break this. So I am back. Writing a post helps me to understand what is good for me and what I really want. PMO is an urge, but I really don't want that life.