No porn anymore

[MartinMecher]

This is my very first (serious) try to quit porn. My name is Martin, I'm from Germany, married, two children.

I watch porn for 23 years now. I had never any feeling about being addicted to porn, but in the last years I noticed, that sex with my wife become harder and harder. I suffer for delayed ejaculation and in the meantime I only ejaculate when I do it myself. I tried to insert breaks before any near sex with my wife to "load up" and afterwards I watched porn daily. Because it seems to be not enough anymore there were new triggers:

- Gay Porn
- Cam2Cam with other guys via Snapchat
- paid memberships on some porn sites
- Edging
- doing all of that during my working time


I then found yourbrainonporn and I read all the articles and this is my first try to quit porn forever. I know that I'm not able to reduce. So I go all in.

I hope for a better sex life and easier ejaculation and get rid of that craving for the next dopamine shot.

It's day 7 now without PMO and MO. 2 days before I had intercourse with my wife.
Blowjob, but came by myself. I came way quicker then in the past.

I noticed the flatline. I read before and just have it myself. No spontaneous erections, no libido. It's almost terrifying. But I keep on.
I tried the same a year ago, but without knowing all the backgrounds and quit very early just to watch mor excessively and using Snapchat as well.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 7
Today is the first day I suffer a little bit. My fantasy is about to start. That is new. I try to push that away. Writing here somehow triggers me as well, so I need to get used to it.
At the moment I try hard mode without porn and masturbation. I only want to ejaculate with my wife.

 

[Daybyday1988]

i watched homosexual stuff too. its super shocking and creates a bigger dopamine kick than the hetero material. So i have come to the conclusion that it is going to take longer for me to recover because of escalating into that type of stuff. its all good though, not going back!

Does your wife know about your problem?

 

[MartinMecher]

i suffered with the Homo stuff too. its super shocking and creates a bigger dopamine kick than the hetero material. So i have come to the conclusion that it is going to take longer for me to recover because of escalating into that type of stuff. its all good though, not going back!

Does your wife know about your problem?

Thanks for your reply. No, my wife doesn't know anything about it.

 

[Daybyday1988]

oh okay. well hopefully you can get this out of the way and not hurt her. im sure she will notice that something is up with you but if you can abstain from P enough, you may be able to get through this without crushing her. It can be devastating for wives to find out that their husband was sneaking porn. If you feel like you can tell her and she'll be supportive, maybe go for it. But if you arent sure, use that as motivation to kick the habit before she finds out and gets really hurt.

if you need accountability that isnt with your wife, then i suggest using covenant eyes blocking software on all your stuff. itll block the P, and you can have an accountability ally that will monitor your search history so you are less tempted to fuck up. its been really working for me! almost 90 days clean!

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 8
No PMO and MO since 8 days.
Last ejaculation 3 days ago

My penis is very quiet and tiny all day long. My sexual drive is nearly 0. Maybe 3 to 4 short tries of my brain to get into thinking about porn. Oddly got an hard erection while writing here. The only one today. I don't know if this is a bad sign.

My thoughts often go to the no porn topic and I'm glad to keep it up for 8 days now.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 9
No porn, no fap (alone)
Very few triggers. I'm fine with it. But very few sexual motivation the entire day.
Had intercourse with my wife, all functional and much quicker orgasm than before during the porn time. So I see the benefits and that shows me it is the right way.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 10
Still porn and fap free. No urges and no problems at the moment. Low sex drive, but that's ok, I'm fine with it at the moment. And a good feeling to get rid of that bad habit.
On the other hand I'm stressed quicker at work and more aggressive than usual. Concentration is harder. Not sure if that has anything to do with the current situation.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 11
Nothing new. I'm surprised how normal it has become. In the past I was so horny after 2 days that I just needed to watch porn and now it's just gone. I hope it stays like this, on the other hand I'm a bit afraid that my sex drive is totally gone without porn.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 12
No porn, no single masturbation and 4 days since last ejaculation.
After I woke up the urge to masturbate was very strong. I could push that away with some sport, but porn fantasy wanted to push forward and nothing seemed better like masturbating. At work everything was gone and the rest of the day was quite normal. It's the first day with a little bit of some sort of sex drive, but I wait till my wife want's some to save more. Unbelievable that I masturbated daily only 2 weeks ago.

 

[Daybyday1988]

Thats great buddy, keep it going! The porn fantasy takes some time to get rid of for sure

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 13
Nearly two weeks porn and fap free, unbelievabe. Especially after so many decades of almost daily watching. Before, I always thought that every male mist have this pressure to release after some days, never had the idea that it was the addiction to dopamine by porn.
Had sex with my wife this morning, no delayed ejaculation, it was quite easy and very satisfying. I like this new situation. Some fantasies coming through and I hope to resist in the next days.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 14
Two weeks already. No problems till evening. Very much fantasies and an urge to masturbate. But I manage to push that away.
I think I can keep this going much longer. But I'm afraid when I'm longer alone at home or when I travel during work and be away for multiple days from home. I think these are the challenges. In the past these were the days for massive PMO and Cam2Cam-Stuff.

 

[Light fetnos]

Since the urges are getting higher and higher, u should cut all ways for internet access for one week or two, just so that things calm down and then maybe use it again if u see ur self not in danger of failing, because if u fail, next time its gonna be easier to fail and so on, since this streak is a serious, u should put all in.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 15
Morning was hard. Fantasies of masturbing were strong and I was close to just do it. I would have done it without porn, but I was not sure if fapping is bringing me back to my habits.
So I did some sport and pushed it away. When I'm alone it will be hard. Cutting the internet is no option because my family needs it. But my willpower is strong enough at the moment.
Evening was no problem.
Are there any experiences with fapping without porn? I can imagine that this can result in a new circle of dopamine craving.

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 16
Today was the toughest day so far. Thoughts about porn and sex the entire day. I tried to visualize some porn sex scenes and that wasn't a good idea, and I noticed I'm not ready for this. Images flashed by till now. It would be so good to just do it. But I don't want to waste this strike, so I keep pushing that away.

 

[logicprox]

It wouldn’t be so good at all. It only seems like it would. Onward.

 

[strongfuture89]

It is normal at this point to have cravings for ´just a little´ this or that, like even doing M without P. But just like you said, it will start a new cycle of dopamine. You want to teach your body that sex is about chemistry with your partner, with dopamine and oxytocine and everything with it. Don´t teach your body to enjoy those things outside of that natural situation. If the fantasies hit you, use the giant X strategy, it works wonders for some people. Put a giant X on that idea, smack it in the ground and snap back to the real world.

 

[MartinMecher]

It is normal at this point to have cravings for ´just a little´ this or that, like even doing M without P. But just like you said, it will start a new cycle of dopamine. You want to teach your body that sex is about chemistry with your partner, with dopamine and oxytocine and everything with it. Don´t teach your body to enjoy those things outside of that natural situation. If the fantasies hit you, use the giant X strategy, it works wonders for some people. Put a giant X on that idea, smack it in the ground and snap back to the real world.

Thx for this technique, I will try that giant x

 

[MartinMecher]

Day 17
Quite normal day, no fantasies or problems.