Brother in this battle - My path to freedom

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Freerider

Active Member
Freerider said:
Day 116 and 6. I listen yesterday some podcasts, here couple inportant things to go forward with this shit also. Maybe some points little too wide.. At least we have accountability here.

1. Faith and conviction ( you have to believe in better future at least little).
2. Sacrifice (free up resources, declaration of war against personal poverty (poverty of reason, spirit, everything), give up something so that you can focus on what is important to you)
3. A big goal that changes everything when realized and meanings that become a reason for you to do whatever it takes to achieve it
4. learning and studying (success is remembering)
5. Work that replaces the unnecessary (focused, present, goal-oriented, doing things that don't ignore emotional costs)
6. Accountability (tracking)
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Reply for own post :) somehow those nice words and good advices are too top level. When in reboot I just think what i don’t do or being quite stressful and bad mood mostly. Big goals are too far away and replacing that shit with something good is much more difficult than just somehow being without addiction. There is no power to concentrate some good so much. Its maybe step by step and try to take more steps to to good than back old shit. Just this wanted to say!
 
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Freerider

Active Member
122 and 12. I have founded my old traumas once again. Those might have some connection to my escape habits with alcohol or porn or masturbation. I dont want to escape hard feelings and emotions anymore. Lets see what those have to tell me. At least once again go through those on adult age. Hard stuff. Keep going guys!
 
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GBS

GBS

Respected Member
You’re doing great. Get that no MO number right up. See how you feel. Test yourself. You’re definitely man enough to do it.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
123 and 0. I feel sad. Have to go just forward. Old wounds has opened in my mind, its somehow good, but need to process and see what old stuff i still have in my mind. Have to be responsible father and wife when world go crazy. In my past I have avoided pain with masturbation and porn and also use those just manage my feelings in smaller case issues. Thats hard to not do so. > i fell down again with masturbation. But, whattahell new try starts now.
 
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Freerider

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124 and 1. Once again from day 1, life is short and reboot and life is waiting so try to do little different this time than all the other tries.. work+meditation&praying+physical training+socialcontacts on everyday habits. Every day. Every fucking day. Okay, on weekend not work but rest at least there.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 125 and 2. Did some exercise yesterday after work, etc stuff which was good. I know my weak moments again masturbation, so i need to avoid those moments/situations one step before i am too close to it. Somehow instagram started to show videos where some woman is dressing up some ”outfits” but of course its bad for me. Is that so those social media portals tries to keep me stuck with my problems. Need to use less social media also, its sometimes also way to avoid things I really need to do and those video clips a risk to fall down with reboot.

Keep going guys! Its hard but possible to fight again this shit!
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 126 and 3. Chopped trees and made firewood all weekend. Now physically tired but brains restfull. Need to learn also rest. I have had these lot of action days also before and its important to rest also. Otherway i dropped in bad mood.
 
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Freerider

Active Member
Day 129 and 6. I am strong in my weakness or because of my weakness.

I have to accept my weakness and through that it can become a strength for me. avoiding responsibility and scary things is not a strength, but admitting that I am addicted is. Reboot is strenght.
 
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