Pdub
Member
I'm back again. I'm older but not wiser, made a step forward and took a step back. Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a porn addiction Groundhog's day.
I was doing well and had over two months clean. I was over a flatline and starting to engage in actual sex again. Things were looking good. Then I slipped and found myself in a PMO rut for over a year. I knew I was not doing myself any favors, but I kept doing it. Every time I'd finish I'd tell myself I was stupid for doing it, that I needed to stop, and I felt like I was worthless.
With the new year coming up, I need to change. I know it's arbitrary when we start our journey and this isn't some "dry January" type situation for me. One thing I have learned through my multiple ups and downs is that I need community to keep going. I knew some of my triggers of boredom, loneliness, anger, and surprisingly hunger. I never connected that loneliness also extended to not having anyone to really talk to about my journey.
So here I am, like the Terminator, telling you all
I'll be back
I was doing well and had over two months clean. I was over a flatline and starting to engage in actual sex again. Things were looking good. Then I slipped and found myself in a PMO rut for over a year. I knew I was not doing myself any favors, but I kept doing it. Every time I'd finish I'd tell myself I was stupid for doing it, that I needed to stop, and I felt like I was worthless.
With the new year coming up, I need to change. I know it's arbitrary when we start our journey and this isn't some "dry January" type situation for me. One thing I have learned through my multiple ups and downs is that I need community to keep going. I knew some of my triggers of boredom, loneliness, anger, and surprisingly hunger. I never connected that loneliness also extended to not having anyone to really talk to about my journey.
So here I am, like the Terminator, telling you all
I'll be back