Yes. I miss and grieve PMO when i give it up mainly for two reasons. For one, we are creatures of habit. My acting out involved a ritual that provided me a sense of comfort and stability (i would do it at a certain time, place setting), and i would arrange many things in my life around that ritual. Without it in place, i feel disoriented and at a loss.
More importantly, PMO is how i medicated myself from emotions that i don't know how to cope with- fear, sadness, anger, even joy. The dopamine rush would numb those feelings and soothe me. Unfortunately, those feelings remained unresolved, while the dopamine rush reconfigured my brain to seek that dopamine hit more and get less from it.
I relate to walking or driving by certain acting out areas. Before PMO a few years back, i struggled with casual anonymous sexual encounters, which would happen at certain places, which to me it is still a triggers to drive by still to this day 8 years later.
But i can tell you that the feeling of loss and grieving fades away as you put more time between yourself and your last acting out. Time is the ultimate healer. And the trigger effect of a place of a setting become less and less intense. It might not fully go away, but it can become like a distant memory that you vaguely fell connected to. It won't happen by itself. Changing the habit is easier when you replace it with a new, healthier one- or a few.
Take some time to check the resources on YBOP, especially the videos, and educate yourself on what you're going through. It was very empowering to me as i took up this journey. Best of luck lee
http://yourbrainonporn.com
