4 YEARS PMO FREE! - 5 tips to SUCCESS!! - MUST READ! (updated)
- Thread starter Supersonic
- Start date
olafthewise
Active Member
As a youth, I had time. She was there for me then and fought with me as a good wife does. I had victory then. It made me into the man I was. I knew God wanted me there, or so I thought...Then it ended. I saw it coming and prayed for patience. I was Gods disciple, one of His own. He would protect me, right? No. I was removed and told to come back. I tried to come back, but after ten years, it ended with a false accusation that decimated my reputation.
I felt that I needed to remain in the church so I kept attending service. Over this time she became cold and often refused sex and left me wanting. I was alone. I had no friends, family or anyone to share with. Porn filled this spot.
I tried the usual prayer to have God remove porn from my life. It never worked, at least directly. The porn is now at about a 90% success. I won't fill you in on what the 10% is. Lets just say that I needed a way to fill my masculine needs. My wife is not there to fill it. My job is unemployed on welfare. I have no leadership, not even the kids listen to me. My wife has developed a painful intercourse problem that I believe is psychological. She simply gets nothing from our limited sexual encounters. Her sexual abuse from childhood is a good excuse as well.
I have situational depression. In other words, if my situation improves, I will too. It began about 7 years ago when hope was starting to disappear. As that time is past and I have been in my present situation for 5 years, I am ruined. The Lord has done it. I don't need God to ruin me though. I am good at failure as God ignores me, I suppose. I really don't know.
Here's what I do know; I am a man. my hopes and dreams are shot and it is too late to redeem me, I am too old. All my hopes are lost and there is very little left. I do small tasks daily to feel better, trying to accept God's will in this. He chose to ruin me and in his wisdom I have to accept it. I am only a man and an insignificant one at that. I could fake it as I did for 15 years, but people are not stupid, neither are employers looking at a pathetic resume. Another dose of 5-HTP and a little sun and I'm just ok.
I am past anger and blame. I don't use the word blame. God is responsible though. I am His. He could restore me, but hasn't happened yet and after all these years I developed a weaker faith and a weaker character as a result. In other words, I am a worse man than before. My legacy is as pathetic as you can imagine. I go to church respectfully and politely. Not much prayer anymore, I converse with God because He was supposed to redeem my career a long time ago, but I am ruined now. He would have to perform a resurrection of sorts in the case of a good job.
I felt that I needed to remain in the church so I kept attending service. Over this time she became cold and often refused sex and left me wanting. I was alone. I had no friends, family or anyone to share with. Porn filled this spot.
I tried the usual prayer to have God remove porn from my life. It never worked, at least directly. The porn is now at about a 90% success. I won't fill you in on what the 10% is. Lets just say that I needed a way to fill my masculine needs. My wife is not there to fill it. My job is unemployed on welfare. I have no leadership, not even the kids listen to me. My wife has developed a painful intercourse problem that I believe is psychological. She simply gets nothing from our limited sexual encounters. Her sexual abuse from childhood is a good excuse as well.
I have situational depression. In other words, if my situation improves, I will too. It began about 7 years ago when hope was starting to disappear. As that time is past and I have been in my present situation for 5 years, I am ruined. The Lord has done it. I don't need God to ruin me though. I am good at failure as God ignores me, I suppose. I really don't know.
Here's what I do know; I am a man. my hopes and dreams are shot and it is too late to redeem me, I am too old. All my hopes are lost and there is very little left. I do small tasks daily to feel better, trying to accept God's will in this. He chose to ruin me and in his wisdom I have to accept it. I am only a man and an insignificant one at that. I could fake it as I did for 15 years, but people are not stupid, neither are employers looking at a pathetic resume. Another dose of 5-HTP and a little sun and I'm just ok.
I am past anger and blame. I don't use the word blame. God is responsible though. I am His. He could restore me, but hasn't happened yet and after all these years I developed a weaker faith and a weaker character as a result. In other words, I am a worse man than before. My legacy is as pathetic as you can imagine. I go to church respectfully and politely. Not much prayer anymore, I converse with God because He was supposed to redeem my career a long time ago, but I am ruined now. He would have to perform a resurrection of sorts in the case of a good job.
xtremeb
Member
Thanks for your tips ! I thought, that i always fell in this point:" It starts as a small desire, then it sits in your head and it gains in power.
THIS ONE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. If you are too late, porn will overpower you." I started rebuilding my life again! There is not somethning like 90 days magic pill or whatever. This is LIFETIME decision
THIS ONE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. If you are too late, porn will overpower you." I started rebuilding my life again! There is not somethning like 90 days magic pill or whatever. This is LIFETIME decision
Arya said:
Arya, I agree that these tips are very effective.. Actually this is one of the best posts I've read and contains everything anyone needs to KNOW to quit using.
It's been several months for me now and I've been strong mostly by using the same methodologies laid out here.
In full disclosure, I've found myself browsing CL ads from time to time but backed out and didn't get close to Porn or Masturbation.
I noticed on your counter that you had a relapse fairly recently... Would you mind disclosing what happened? How did your brain trick you?
The key to not relapsing is to understand exactly what happened and it might be helpful for others too!
Great post!!
olafthewise said:
I just wanted to say that I have had those exact same feelings. What changed for me was realizing that the world has their opinion and yet according to God we are, just to paraphrase, wonderfully made. When I began to really study the gospels more, I realized that the people that criticized Jesus the most were the religious leaders of that day. The ones that ended up following him and most noted were people like us, crying out in despair.
This addiction has taught me about the grace and mercy of God. Just like you, I felt pathetic, sometimes undeserving, and yet He is there in your lowest of lows. Even when you don't feel Him. So all I wanted to add is that although people may give up on us, that is not an option for God. He will never give on us. He led me to this site and for the first time I have the support I need.
Thank you for sharing. Believe it or not, you are an inspiration. The mere fact you are here, writing, well it takes guts. You are brave to share what many others aren't willing to. Don't lose hope.
Supersonic
Member
Haven't been on this site for ages
Happy to see it helped some of you!
For any new comers,
just read the very 1st post on the 1st page.
For me personally I am still going strong and I still stand by what I wrote!
Wish you success!
Happy to see it helped some of you!
For any new comers,
just read the very 1st post on the 1st page.
For me personally I am still going strong and I still stand by what I wrote!
Wish you success!
J
JG2690
Guest
Great Advice!
Brock Savage
Member
This list was so awesome but I felt like you ruined it with #5...
some people prefer to worship Zeus, Buddha, Poseidon, Allah, or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (this is a real church)
...Just sayin'
some people prefer to worship Zeus, Buddha, Poseidon, Allah, or the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (this is a real church)
...Just sayin'
L
Leon
Guest
Brock Savage said:
Ruined it?
It's his list. Similarly, faith has made a big impact in my own successes. However, I also acknowledge that Buddhist (especially in the mindfulness techniques) have helped so many fight this horrible addiction, too.
I don't see him denying anyone else's religious (or non-religious) preferences, but if faith (in Jesus Christ) is important to him, than it's important to him. And, because he's found success in beating this evil, it's only natural for him to share what has worked for him.
My take is, one should have the freedom to share what has worked for them, without having to censor themselves out of fear of offending others. At the same time, one should not go out of their way to be offensive- those are just morons.
If one has overcome this thing by chanting the Maha Mantra, more power to them- and they, too, should be able to express that.
Brock Savage
Member
Agreed... I'll try to practice more Buddhist mindfulness techniques
regguyinpa
Member
Thanks for your post. It is so true. I can not tell you how many times I said just one more time and that has lead to months or years of more of this activity. I can not tell you how important it is for people fighting with this to read your words of success. Thanks again for sharing.
olafthewise
Active Member
It is a common and patented response for people to say that God is the author of evil, an evil or the evil or the devil, etc. This statement goes way back into the first centuries of scriptural debate.
So,
It is a worn out statement to call God the instigator of any evil.
Here is a better response;
I am evil. Born into it from the beginning. Angels do not get to be redeemed, only humans do. Angels are very keen to this and are curious to see a new believer because of the work Christ did on them to save them from a condemnation of hell for sin. (1 Peter 1). So Angels ponder our redeemed condition. When we sin, it is simply work that Christ still needs to do on our sanctification (power of God working on us, over time, as believers) I have a choice, serve God and be the best ridiculous example of a Christian that I can be, OR a bad example. Those in secret sin get caught. I simply chose to do something before I did get caught.
Do I avoid porn to get a reward, no. Would I get a reward for avoiding a sin of porn? Definitely not!! If, therefore, I am a born sinner, redeemed by God while a sinner, how is it me that stops my sin? If God did not intervene, I would still be looking for that perfect porn pic right now. So, what do I get for being good? Nothing. For redemption sake, I get to accompany my Lord in heaven. My extra efforts and duties earn extra rewards in heaven. If I am a good pastor, serving the Lord with diligence and concern for others, I earn all the more. If I ruin all my legacy as a pastor by having sex with the church secretary, my reward is ruined. If I have sex with my church secretary while being a fake unsaved Christian, I get no rewards, only punishment.
what is my point here? There is a God in heaven. if you are so inclined as either a Christian or an atheist to stop porn, you can, it is possible. Remember though, the enemy wants Christians to waste time on porn. So therefore, brothers, take extreme measures to avoid the addiction.
So,
It is a worn out statement to call God the instigator of any evil.
Here is a better response;
I am evil. Born into it from the beginning. Angels do not get to be redeemed, only humans do. Angels are very keen to this and are curious to see a new believer because of the work Christ did on them to save them from a condemnation of hell for sin. (1 Peter 1). So Angels ponder our redeemed condition. When we sin, it is simply work that Christ still needs to do on our sanctification (power of God working on us, over time, as believers) I have a choice, serve God and be the best ridiculous example of a Christian that I can be, OR a bad example. Those in secret sin get caught. I simply chose to do something before I did get caught.
Do I avoid porn to get a reward, no. Would I get a reward for avoiding a sin of porn? Definitely not!! If, therefore, I am a born sinner, redeemed by God while a sinner, how is it me that stops my sin? If God did not intervene, I would still be looking for that perfect porn pic right now. So, what do I get for being good? Nothing. For redemption sake, I get to accompany my Lord in heaven. My extra efforts and duties earn extra rewards in heaven. If I am a good pastor, serving the Lord with diligence and concern for others, I earn all the more. If I ruin all my legacy as a pastor by having sex with the church secretary, my reward is ruined. If I have sex with my church secretary while being a fake unsaved Christian, I get no rewards, only punishment.
what is my point here? There is a God in heaven. if you are so inclined as either a Christian or an atheist to stop porn, you can, it is possible. Remember though, the enemy wants Christians to waste time on porn. So therefore, brothers, take extreme measures to avoid the addiction.
rebooting555
Member
great article man it really helped me these last few days I just came off of a 74 day streak and had relapsed and for the last 25 days iv been trying to get passed it but keep falling off after 2-4 days only pmoing once but im back on it again thanks to this article I just hope I didn't jerk it all away which I highly doubt since 74 days is a great streak
olafthewise
Active Member
just keep going. The presence of temptation will never go away. just get back on that horse and go as long as possible without porn. If you screw up, get back on the horse and keep going....repeat as necessary. Find other addictions that are healthy, like fitness, fixing stuff, Graduate school, The movie Lord of the Rings, etc.
olafthewise
Active Member
It is time again to add some wisdom here.
The science of addiction has great articles on this site to encourage us and to use the mechanics of science as a tool. In my case it is a God given tool, for others, its just science.
As I finish up my psych grad degree in the midst of years of unemployment, one thing is clear; does the thing you do (PMO, or drugs, etc), cause distress? I assume it does. One should avoid distress and when porn is uncontrollable, we must reduce that exposure as much as possible. I myself see a few explicit pictures and drawings on a certain picture site I frequent, that also has architecture, nature and comics as well. I produce little distress by seeing those pics and yet some here would not endure such temptation. I say this in light of my past when viewing porn for the sake of just viewing it (no masturbation) took hours from my day. That alone is distressful. I longed to regain control of my time. I wrongly assumed that replacing porn with Bible reading was a solution. I then realized that the human brain in me needed excitement in baseline stuff. Allow me to demonstrate; the house was mine to manage while my wife was away. I needed non porn related things to do, so I developed interesting projects that included this web page, LinkedIn and some others, wash needed to be done, fitness, kitchen cleaning, messy garage, paperwork for my special needs kid and in cases where the weather was good I simply got outside. Remember when you are alone, it is not good, my adult with autism helped by just being around. These simple projects were never done and provided enough simple brain stimulation to keep me out of trouble.
Remember, thinking about staying out of trouble (porn) is a conscious habit where you want to avoid porn and are thinking about avoiding porn, but really, you eventually get a proper dose of brain stimulation and eventually are not thinking about porn at all.
Therefore, when I get on LinkedIn, my mentality is not to find stimulating pictures of nudity but to look at profiles, business and read articles that make me a better person professionally. This practice removes the exercise of avoiding porn while avoiding porn altogether. If I deviate and then look at a few explicit pictures, I must do so quickly lest I forget where I came from. The goal in that case is to go back to the article I was on such as an article of business or other subject. Avoid the feelings of guilt that accompanies a lapse in judgement or relapse as we call it.
Examples of my own struggles can be given on request as questions, but telling a long list of guilt-ridden failures will not help anyone here.
As Christians we must realize that this is a war. Porn is one of many battles and other people battle their own problems of sin and sanctification. If we keep this in mind, the clever temptations given by our enemy can be fought and won with little cost. Prayer is assumed here, since the Lord wants you to speak to Him and to lay out your weaknesses plain and simple.
The science of addiction has great articles on this site to encourage us and to use the mechanics of science as a tool. In my case it is a God given tool, for others, its just science.
As I finish up my psych grad degree in the midst of years of unemployment, one thing is clear; does the thing you do (PMO, or drugs, etc), cause distress? I assume it does. One should avoid distress and when porn is uncontrollable, we must reduce that exposure as much as possible. I myself see a few explicit pictures and drawings on a certain picture site I frequent, that also has architecture, nature and comics as well. I produce little distress by seeing those pics and yet some here would not endure such temptation. I say this in light of my past when viewing porn for the sake of just viewing it (no masturbation) took hours from my day. That alone is distressful. I longed to regain control of my time. I wrongly assumed that replacing porn with Bible reading was a solution. I then realized that the human brain in me needed excitement in baseline stuff. Allow me to demonstrate; the house was mine to manage while my wife was away. I needed non porn related things to do, so I developed interesting projects that included this web page, LinkedIn and some others, wash needed to be done, fitness, kitchen cleaning, messy garage, paperwork for my special needs kid and in cases where the weather was good I simply got outside. Remember when you are alone, it is not good, my adult with autism helped by just being around. These simple projects were never done and provided enough simple brain stimulation to keep me out of trouble.
Remember, thinking about staying out of trouble (porn) is a conscious habit where you want to avoid porn and are thinking about avoiding porn, but really, you eventually get a proper dose of brain stimulation and eventually are not thinking about porn at all.
Therefore, when I get on LinkedIn, my mentality is not to find stimulating pictures of nudity but to look at profiles, business and read articles that make me a better person professionally. This practice removes the exercise of avoiding porn while avoiding porn altogether. If I deviate and then look at a few explicit pictures, I must do so quickly lest I forget where I came from. The goal in that case is to go back to the article I was on such as an article of business or other subject. Avoid the feelings of guilt that accompanies a lapse in judgement or relapse as we call it.
Examples of my own struggles can be given on request as questions, but telling a long list of guilt-ridden failures will not help anyone here.
As Christians we must realize that this is a war. Porn is one of many battles and other people battle their own problems of sin and sanctification. If we keep this in mind, the clever temptations given by our enemy can be fought and won with little cost. Prayer is assumed here, since the Lord wants you to speak to Him and to lay out your weaknesses plain and simple.