breaking that barrier

[hash1]

Hi guys,

I have been trying to quit pmo for 3years now. ALL the negative effects have changed my true identity and keep me locked like this. The problem is pmo creates too much of ups and downs in emotions and I cant have that in my job. I average 4days till I relapse. My first day clean is hell, all drained, feeling down. Second day is way better. By foirth day I relapse. I leave my phone away but I keep convincing myself one more time. In the moment logic does not work no matter how strong your values are. I need some tips coz im running a real estate agency and getting married in a couple of months to a girl i actually love. I dont want to lose them in my life.

Please help.

 

[Attos]

When I first starting reading your thread and that you fear for your job, I went like "OMG, I hope the guy isn't airline pilot"

Well, what are the current strategies that you use for quitting ? Anything that works better than others ?

Quitting isn't just STOP, but instead the use of various methods to support that goal. There's hundreds on ybop and other sites.

You may want to try M without P, maybe 2-3 times a week ?

At any case, try to break the PMO rythm: don't touch yourself at the same second you're watching porn. For example, if you relapse, watch 1 minute, then run out of the room and touch yourself for few seconds or whatever (try to trip over the computer cable, if possible ). Then return to P without touching. Add some pauses of deep breathing in-between those activities.

Also don't pursue fantasies, those mess up your progress a lot .

See if you can reduce the ups and downs as in:

- lift your downs - eat some good healthy meals, go for a walk, go out and meet people, some light exercise, whatever

- lower your ups (I mean hyper-active horny states of mind and body - relax, exercise, take cold showers, take on an activity that requires your full focus)

 

[qrayzHD]

Have you tried porn filters like K9 Web Protection? http://www1.k9webprotection.com/ They can slow you down and give you enough time to change your mind about visiting a porn site.
If you are finding no porn and no masturbation too much at this point, then it might be a good idea to allow yourself to masturbate without porn and fantasy for a while, a goal like 10 days without porn is a solid start and you can work your way up from there.
I also want to say that i have ambition to start my own real estate agency sometime in the future and knowing that it is a very people orientated career was also one of the reasons why i wanted to quit porn, i already feel like i will be a better agent for it in the future.
Anyway, best of luck with the reboot, congrats on getting married and may the market be good to you : )

 

[challenged]

I agree with the suggestions to try to reduce porn and M bit-by-bit.  If you're watching it every day or multiple times a day, start by reducing to every other day, and then every third day.  Or if your typical "rest" is 4 days, make a concerted effort the next time to go 5 days, then try 6, etc.

I have heard it said by quite a few folks that the first two weeks is the hardest, and that was my own experience.  So again, if you typically would watch porn or PMO 7 to 10 times in 2 weeks (just to pick a number out of thin air) try not to watch it for two weeks if you can manage it, but at least cut it down to maybe 2 or 3 times in that period.  And try to shorten your durations of porn or M.  In other words, break down what you're trying to accomplish in more manageable chunks.  Don't think of being porn free "forever" or for 90 days at this point.

You can do this!  It is not easy, but you can do it, and it will get easier as you progress.  And if your have been PMO'ing on a regular basis for a long time, you cannot even imagine how much better you will feel about everything, including your fianc?, your upcoming marriage, your job, etc.

 

[Fappy]

Hi,
Everyone reboots in a different way with different speeds and methods.
Try some different approaches if your current one isnt working. Theres a method for you so youll just have to find it.
Also know your limits and dont aim so far at the start, lest you become discouraged.

Fappizzle