My struggle of quitting PMO

[Anonymous Dude]

So I have been on my holiday and I haven't had almost any urges. Being away from my computer seems to really help a lot and now if for some reason P comes into my mind the urge is really small or non existent. I had a dream about going to watch porn a few days back and when I woke up I felt huge urges but fortunately they went away. I feel quite horny from time to time but not as often as usual. I'm kind of afraid to return home next Thursday because I fear that I will relapse :/ But I'm really hoping that this is the start I needed to end PMO for good!

 

[Anonymous Dude]

Oh yeah! 8 days people, this is the longest no PMO streak I have probably ever had since I started PMO'ing many years back. So every second from now will be a new record unless I relapse which of course I hope wont happen, ever.

So I have been on my holiday for about a week now and it has been quite easy to resist the urges to PMO. Mostly I didn't even remember my problem which is good. But I'm really afraid that I will relapse when I return home in a few days. I will do my best to not relapse but I don't trust myself completely. Well let's hope for the best!

 

[Recovernor]

Congrats on the record! I remember when I first broke mine (around day 20 or so), I was feeling so great about myself! And now I'm going into day 100 tomorrow. You should definitely be proud of yourself. Keep it up, it gets better.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

Congrats on the record! I remember when I first broke mine (around day 20 or so), I was feeling so great about myself! And now I'm going into day 100 tomorrow. You should definitely be proud of yourself. Keep it up, it gets better.

Thank you for your support and reply! I sure hope that it gets better. I'm not home yet so it hasn't been that hard to avoid PMO like I said before but I'm really afraid of returning home.

One thing that I have noticed in the few past days is that when I get "porn flashbacks" I don't feel the same craving that I did before. Now I feel only a small urge which is good but I'm afraid that when I return home those cravings will get a lot bigger.

 

[Recovernor]

Eventually those flashbacks will completely subside, unless you intentionally start to think about P. That's a good sign that the urges are going away already though!

Home is always a difficult place for me to go back to and be alone at. I'm in my first year of college, so being away from home (where I spent the vast majority of my addiction) has been a big help. It's tough when I go back, but it's beatable. Find a way to keep your mind and your hands busy and you should be just fine.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

Well this is bad... I returned home from my holiday and of course after a couple of hours of being home I went to watch P and then I MO'd, so a full PMO. I even purchased a subscription to a f**king premium porn site, the over arousal of porn really is like a drug. When you are feeling the over arousal you don't care about anything else than getting something new and hot to jerk off to. So now I'm feeling like crap because I thought that my 11 day streak would be the start of my new no PMO life but it seems I was wrong once again Overcoming my PMO addiction seems too much for me but I'm gonna keep on trying even though I don't know if I will succeed.

EDIT: And I did it again... what's wrong with me seriously!?!

 

[Recovernor]

Fortifyprogram.org I'm doing it now, and it helps.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So yeah I relapsed again last night or actually I think it was already morning, like 5am -.- I sent the application to the Fortify program and they accepted my application  today! I hope that will help me at least a bit. A few days back I just realized that PMO actually destroyed my relationship with my "latest" girlfriend even though it has been like 10 months since we broke up and I got so angry when I was thinking about it. I felt like I don't want to PMO ever again but it seems I was wrong :/ I think I have to really like "gear up" for this battle. Every time I get the urge to PMO I must remind myself of all the bad things PMO has caused me and how bad I will feel afterwards.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So last week was quite bad regarding my no PMO but now I have gotten the hang of it again (I hope). Even though I haven't posted here I have always reset my counter when I have relapsed. But now I'm at almost four days which is great but it's still baby steps. I can't seem to get to the 10 day mark or further no matter what. Right know I feel mental torture and I'm not kidding or exaggerating. My mind is constantly trying to justify why I should/could PMO for the one "last" time. It's getting harder and harder to push those thoughts away and the flashbacks of me PMO'ing are coming back more vivid. This really is the hardest thing I have done in my life. I don't know if I will be able to resist, I feel like a part of me "wants" me to give in...

This is so hard.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So, the last few weeks have been quite difficult as usual. But now I see a huge beacon of hope! I met a girl and I developed a huge crush on her and she developed a huge crush on me as well. We like each other very much and we have spent the last two days together. Now I don't even want to PMO, I don't even think about P almost at all. Sometimes I get a P flashback but it quickly goes away and I don't get urges to go and PMO. I think this is the time I'm really going to succeed in getting rid of this life breaking addiction. I have been using the Fortify program from time to time but it really doesn't seem to do a lot for me at least.

I'm feeling really good overall and everything seems to be well. I'm very motivated about everything and I want to get things done. I don't want to waste any time PMO'ing anymore, now I realize how stupid PMO is and I don't want it, I really don't want it.

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So here I am posting again but this time my post is going to contain at least mostly positive things! Three days ago I reached the point from where every second is a new record for me regarding my no PMO. And right now I'm at 13 days which is really awesome! Actually I haven't even masturbated at all so it has been 13 days since I watched porn and/or masturbated. The urges I have had have been minimal so I've been doing good overall.

Like I wrote on my last post I have been seeing a girl very often and she has spent nights at my place and I have spent nights at hers. She is really beautiful, nice, funny and we share a lot of same interests. I really enjoy her company and I definitely have a crush on her and fortunately she has a crush on me as well. We have had sex many times now and during the first few times that we tried to have sex I had some ED problems. Then I somehow found the courage to tell her about my porn addiction and I was really afraid that she would just reject me but her reaction was actually the opposite! She turned out to be very supporting and caring and she really wants to be there for me so I can get rid of this addiction. I know we have been seeing each other for only about week and a half but we somehow share a really deep connection and we both feel like we have known each other for a long time, even though we haven't. Maybe that was weird or hard to understand but I tried to put my feelings into words as best as I could and of course writing those words in English wasn't an easy task for me at least. So anyway, the last three times we had sex were great! I got a good 60% erection without any physical stimulation and had no problems keeping it up. I even lasted for a good while I know orgasms might be bad for my reboot but I just can't resist. I feel really confident that now I can get rid of my PMO addiction!

One question for possible readers: I know that porn makes men's standards for women's looks pretty high or at least for me it does and even though I think this girl I talked about is hot I still sometimes find myself wishing that she would be a lot hotter. It feels like I'm not "happy" with her looks even though I am. So the question is, will these kinds of feelings go away in time? Will be unrealistic expectations for my partners looks return to "normal"?

 

[Sampson Munk]

As of now, your brain probably singularly veiws girls as attraction for there capacity for your visual stimulation. This, along with the desensitising effects of porn, have most likely worked into your real views of women. This is really bad. But the reboot rewires your brain, so you will lose this need for visual stimulation. Your brain will also retrain itself to feel the love and affection associated with intercourse with real girls, thus stopping you from making this unrealistic comparison in which real girls will always lose. It comes with time man. Be patient, work hard, and you will find yourself where you want to be.

All the best,
-Sam

 

[Anonymous Dude]

As of now, your brain probably singularly veiws girls as attraction for there capacity for your visual stimulation. This, along with the desensitising effects of porn, have most likely worked into your real views of women. This is really bad. But the reboot rewires your brain, so you will lose this need for visual stimulation. Your brain will also retrain itself to feel the love and affection associated with intercourse with real girls, thus stopping you from making this unrealistic comparison in which real girls will always lose. It comes with time man. Be patient, work hard, and you will find yourself where you want to be.

All the best,
-Sam

A big thanks for your answer, I really appreciate it! This was just the explanation I needed. My unrealistic expectations really were eating me from the inside. It's good to know that the reboot will make my expectations normal. Thank you!

But regarding my reboot I have been doing great! I have had some urges and more and more porn flashbacks but I have been able to push them away fortunately. I have also noticed that whenever I get a porn flashback I don't get the same sudden feeling of excitement. The feeling of excetiment is there but it's not nearly as big as it was lets say two weeks ago. My brain is still sometimes trying to justify watching porn and the thing I struggle with the most is the feeling of losing something I really liked to do (of course probably every porn addict liked to watch porn when they were watching it) but luckily I know better! One other thing that makes this struggle harder for me is the society's view of porn, it's viewed as normal and "every guy watches it" so it makes getting rid of it so hard for me at least.

But I'm staying strong and feeling great

 

[Anonymous Dude]

This is a really sad moment for me. After 22 days of no PMO I relapsed, I f**king relapsed. I can't believe it. The urge was too strong and I couldn't resist but afterwards I feel like shit. Why did I have to give in? WHY?

Well, once more I'm going to continue and hope for the best...

 

[Sampson Munk]

Hey man,

Like you I am experiencing great troubke with relapses. Stay strong! I know how pulled down you feel. I know have made myself a mindset that I have to and will stop myself from relapsing because I have been stuck in a depression and need to get out.

Remember what you are in this for. You're breaking free. All those times you tried and failed, now you are able to go for weeks without P or M. Thats a damn fine achievement my friend.

To escape from the loop of relapse I have a couple of tips for you:
-WRTIE YOURSELF SOME RULES. Seriously discipline yourself on these rules. They help with something else to say no when you have those irresistible urges. They also keep you on track and stop you from deliberately looking for triggers.

-KEEP BUSY. Really important. I'm sure this is the same for you, but I tend to easily give in when I have time on my hands. If you have a hobby or keep youself busy with study or any other commitment things will get easier.

-ADDRESS URGES INSTANTLY. This one is part of my rules. If you can catch it early it's easier. Distract youself with something engaging or IMMEDIATELY take a cold shower or some physical activity like running or explosive pushups. This must be done straight away without hesitation if it's going to work.

- STAY FOCUSED, STRONG, AND HAPPY! Remember how awesome it is that you are breaking free. Concentrate on your goals and what you are escaping. Imagine how great things would be without worry. Tbh I'm really excited about that time. Life will be amazing for both you and I. But keep your chin up and keep pushing through the tough times to get there

Best of luck my friend,
-Sam

 

[Anonymous Dude]

Hey man,

Like you I am experiencing great troubke with relapses. Stay strong! I know how pulled down you feel. I know have made myself a mindset that I have to and will stop myself from relapsing because I have been stuck in a depression and need to get out.

Remember what you are in this for. You're breaking free. All those times you tried and failed, now you are able to go for weeks without P or M. Thats a damn fine achievement my friend.

To escape from the loop of relapse I have a couple of tips for you:
-WRTIE YOURSELF SOME RULES. Seriously discipline yourself on these rules. They help with something else to say no when you have those irresistible urges. They also keep you on track and stop you from deliberately looking for triggers.

-KEEP BUSY. Really important. I'm sure this is the same for you, but I tend to easily give in when I have time on my hands. If you have a hobby or keep youself busy with study or any other commitment things will get easier.

-ADDRESS URGES INSTANTLY. This one is part of my rules. If you can catch it early it's easier. Distract youself with something engaging or IMMEDIATELY take a cold shower or some physical activity like running or explosive pushups. This must be done straight away without hesitation if it's going to work.

- STAY FOCUSED, STRONG, AND HAPPY! Remember how awesome it is that you are breaking free. Concentrate on your goals and what you are escaping. Imagine how great things would be without worry. Tbh I'm really excited about that time. Life will be amazing for both you and I. But keep your chin up and keep pushing through the tough times to get there

Best of luck my friend,
-Sam

Thank you very much for your kind words and good tips! It really means a lot to me

I always try to think of something to do so I wont be tempted to PMO but the problem for me is the fact that I really don't have many things to do. As I have said before I'm at the moment unemployed and not in a school. I'm hoping to get in a school and start studying there next autumn. So anyway, most of my days consist of being home at my computer. Usually I play games alone or with my friends or watch youtube videos or tv shows and three times a week I go to gym to work out. All of that is okay for me but the problem comes when I have no new videos or episodes to watch, I have played enough for one day and I have already been to the gym or the day isn't one of the work out days and I start to feel bored. That's when my thoughts turn to porn even when I don't want them to. And if I entertain those thoughts even for a little bit it becomes really hard to stop myself of thinking of porn more and more and eventually relapsing. My latest relapse was almost exactly like that. I got the idea of watching porn when I was browsing Facebook and I saw a picture of a hot girl and then I started to entertain the idea of watching porn. After that I started to look for some pictures of girls and I started to masturbate. After a couple of hours I was basically watching porn pictures and later I found myself watching hardcore porn videos and oh boy did I binge. I watched porn for like 5 or 6 hours. Before I started to watch porn I tried to remind myself of the really bad feeling I would get afterwards. It didn't help at all since I had already entertained the idea of watching porn even for a little. When I was watching porn and fapping I felt really good of course. I started to download pictures and videos and I felt like "Why did I even want to quit PMO since this feels so awesome!?! I'll download some good shit so I can fap to them later". Well after I was finished I felt like shit, I literally felt so bad. I couldn't believe I had relapsed, I didn't want to believe it but I had to. I really couldn't write a long post about my relapse right after so I figured that now would be a good time.

During those 22 days that I managed to stay away from PMO I masturbated to orgasm ONCE and that actually felt really good and I didn't feel anything bad after that. The reason I MO'd was my urge to PMO at that time and I decided to step away from my computer and get things done in the "old fashioned way". I even made sure that I didn't fantasize about anything, I just focused on the sensations and it worked for me at least! But the biggest contributor to my abstinence of PMO was the girl I have been seeing. I have told her about my porn addiction as I have said before and she has been REALLY supportive. There have been many times that I would have relapsed without her. Of course when I'm with her I don't have any urges to PMO but when I'm alone and I get an urge to PMO I instantly message her and I tell her about what I'm feeling right now. Her support has saved many days and I'm really thankful. She even took it really well when I told her that I relapsed.

Recently I have been thinking about the effects of sex on my reboot since we have had sex quite many times. My erections have been good, not as good as I would like them to be but good enough to have sex easily. I know that orgasms might be bad for me but it's really hard to resist having sex with her But on the other hand I have been really thinking about her as a person. Her personality is so great, she's funny, happy, motivated and many other things which I like a lot! I also think that she is pretty and cute but I don't know if I'm "happy" with her body. Her weight is normal so nothing wrong there but I don't know, I wish she had bigger boobs and a better ass. I know that it wouldn't be a good thing to stop seeing her because of these things since she can't do anything about them and I don't want to stop seeing her, she really is a "one in a million" girl in a totally positive way at least in my opinion. My biggest problem is seeing hotter girls with bigger boobs and better asses so often in real life and then I start to wish that "my" girl would be as hot as the others. I don't know if this is because of porn or what but it really drives me crazy sometimes. Why can't I be happy with what I got? Although my feelings for her seem to be a bit mixed at the moment. When I'm not with her I don't miss her much (okay the longest time we have spent without seeing each other is two days) but when I'm with her I really enjoy her company and I just like to be close to her and make her feel good among other things. Can my reboot make my feelings for people change temporarily or affect them in some way?

Wow that was a long post! If someone takes their time to read and reply I would be really grateful! Thank you


PS: Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes, I'm trying my best to write in English but sometimes it's a bit hard

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So, I haven't posted here for a long time but now I feel like I need to. I broke up with my girlfriend at the beginning of July and after that I PMO'd a lot. Not as much as I used to but still quite a lot. Porn didn't have anything to do with the break up, the relationship just wasn't working for us. So after the breakup I didn't immediately feel sad of depressed, it took a few days or a week for those feelings to catch up with me. Fortunately I'm now feeling good since we weren't together for long so I didn't get too attached to her. Still after the breakup I felt bad enough to start PMO'ing again but now I feel like I need to step up and stop. I "had my fun" and now is time to get back on the saddle and get out of this addiction. I know I have said that many many times but I really don't know what else to say. I just have to keep on trying and try to strengthen my resolve. It's going to be hard but I'm hoping that it would be easier since I got into a school and I will start studying soon. My goal is to keep my mind occupied with school related stuff and social life. Finally I will have some routine and things to do and I really think this will help me a lot.

I will try to start posting here at least weekly. Wish me luck guys!

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So after a rough start I managed to be almost 7 days without porn or masturbation but now I failed. 7 days is good but not nearly good enough, I need to to better!!

 

[Anonymous Dude]

It had been almost 4 days since my last relapse and now I relapsed again. I was doing some Java code on my computer as homework from school and I got to a point where I had to take a break. So I decided to browse Facebook and there I saw a trigger and oh boy (It was a stupid "fitness workout video" that showed a hot girl). I don't know if I could have still resisted the urge to PMO but I didn't even try at that point because I already got the dopamine rush and I wanted more so badly. So here I am, I just reset my counter.

I have been really busy with school but all of my homework requires a computer so there's always a risk. I would use the K9 web protection to block my access to porn but that messes up with NVIDIA GeForce Experience so I can't use it because of that. I really don't know what I should do differently. I need to use the computer for homework but when I'm using my computer the urge to PMO is almost always present, at least a little. If someone has any ideas, please tell me!!!

 

[Anonymous Dude]

So after 10 days I had a minor relapse. I viewed some porn pictures and watched like one minute of porn videos but I didn't cum to porn, I just went to the bathroom to finish.

I'm going to continue like I have done many many times before, 10 days without PMO is a big thing for me.