Sampson Munk said:
In any porn addict's brain, what we are really addicted to is the dopamine rush. This dopamine rush comes when we see triggers, when we keep looking/searching for triggers and when we watch porn. An extensive amount is released when we orgasm to porn. So what our brains are actually craving is the dopamine. We aren't craving porn, we are craving the feelings (dopamine rush) porn gives us when we go to watch it. Theres a lot of explanation as to why we enjoy it so much it's got to do with desensitization, the addiction circuit and how dopamine is so closely related to our brains survival instincts.
My father described an addiction to me as the use of anyting where we cannot function normally without it. So, we are addicted to sleep, food, drinking ect. because they are all normal things. Due to porn's unnatural addictive nature (much like how our bodies are not designed to indulge in massive amounts of drugs, alchohol or junk food) the body has a hard time saying no and controlling it so it does not harm us. I could go on and on and on about how porn is harmful, but the main reason is brain conditioning. Look that up on the main page "The adolescent brain meets high speed internet porn".
I have word of caution for you: it is likely that you may be replacing the source of your dopamine hit from porn to masturbation and weed. You have placed guilt and shame on porn, but your brain still needs that hit so it will turn to masturbation (and orgasm) for that high so it can function normally. The same goes with the high weed gives you.
You cant solve a problem with a problem. What you are heading for here is having a masturbation and weed addiction based upon a porn addiction. Instead of being rebooted from porn and enjoying some other area of life like romance or productivity.
Like it was discussed earlier in your forum, any form of dopamine hit associated with porn (or getting high) will do nothing good for you in terms of beating this addiction. As masturbation also releases dopamine, this is like a soft form or relapse. You are still fueling your brain with copious amounts of dopamine to function properly. Another thing about masturbation is that, not only does it stand as a potential replacement addiction, but it can also trigger the chaser effect, which is simply the low from a dopamine hit, which will make you want to achieve the same high again by any means necessary (including weed, masturbation or PMO). This is why so many rebooters (like myself) will go hardcore, and replace the dopamine rush from porn with a dopamine rush from exercise, sport or playing and instrument.
Get some more education about this man. Be very careful not to give yourself more problems than you already cant deal with. Stand up to this porn addiction, commit to the reboot and start treating yourself this addiction like that past.
-Sam
Firstly, thank you for your reply! Regarding porn and the dopamine rush, I really do believe you, at least mostly. In the last 6 months I've noticed that what I seek from porn are those sessions where I just edge and edge until I can't hold it anymore and I have an orgasm. It just feels so weird that a chemical in our brains is behind this (of course, I know) because before realizing that I had a porn addiction I just thought that I adored the female body so much that I watched a lot of porn. I've never really liked the rough hardcore porn, almost every time I watch porn it's very "sensual" if that's a word I can even use when talking about porn. What I mean is that I like to see two or more people together enjoying themselves in a not degrading and human way if you know what I mean. I just like that too much, even though I know it's bad for me. I just find myself asking the same questions over and over again: "Why does porn have to be so harmful for me?" and "Why does something that feels so good have so bad consequences?" Sometimes I even question the purpose of this whole reboot because often when I try to live without porn I just feel like something is missing... and yes I've tried to replace that feeling with exercising, really diving into schoolwork and socializing more but those things really don't help. I've also tried having a girlfriend and that somewhat helps, I can go for longer periods of time without really wanting porn and getting that sad feeling that something is missing, but eventually that feeling comes into my mind and it doesn't leave until I give in to porn. But after giving into porn I feel bad because I know what it's doing to me. This feels like an eternal struggle and I don't what to do. Often I think: "Okay if I successfully get rid of porn then what?" I feel like the biggest reason why I try to get rid of porn is my ED which seems to be completely random these days when I'm with a real girl, and that makes me question the source of my ED, is it because of porn or just something else?
I've watched and read about the science behind porn addiction and I've also read many posts from rebooters. I won't say that I even closely know everything there is to know about this addiction but I know a fair deal. I thought that knowing about those things would help me overcome this addiction but that hasn't happened. I don't know what to do anymore..
I think you misunderstood my weed usage, what I meant is that I like to smoke some the same way "normal people" like to drink alcohol from time to time. The high I get from porn is very much different compared to weed so I at least feel like I'm not trying to replace that porn high with a weed high but of course I might be wrong. The problem is that when I smoke weed that makes my brain want porn even more, I want to be able to smoke weed once in a while without watching porn.
Regarding the masturbation, I really don't know for sure what the basis of it is for me. I think that lately maybe half of the times I've masturbated are because I was genuinely horny and the other half is just to get a high that's close to the high I get from porn. The biggest difference right know is the every time I orgasm from just masturbating I get a really relieved feeling because I didn't watch porn. I don't feel bad or ashamed or anything else like that after masturbating without porn or fantasies.
The thing about romance for me is somewhat sad. I feel like I won't be able to enjoy any kind of romance etc. because of my school. Like I said I already once had a breakup because my school took so much of my time. I can't handle an another breakup because of my school and in fact I feel like I can't handle a breakup no matter the reason. I've had almost 10 breakups in my life, some of them weren't that bad, a couple were bad and especially one was REALLY bad. The really bad one was so bad that I became depressed for a few months and then the depression went away for a while, but it came back from time to time. That breakup made me question my life, it made me question everything. I have never felt so much pain emotionally as I did then and I just think that I won't be able to handle that kind of pain again. It took me over a year to get over the girl I was with before... Breakups take a big toll with me and for the last few months I've felt that relationships aren't even worth the awesome feelings they give you, because there's a high chance that the relationship will fail and the feeling that comes from that is so horrible for me since I'm a very emotional dude. But I guess there lies another motivator for me to get rid of porn, the reason for the worst breakup was ultimately my porn use, even though I didn't know it at the time. What I mean is that porn changed my behavior so much that I became a somewhat of a douche bag, even though I think that I'm sincerely a nice guy. When I realized the reason for that breakup a year ago, I told myself: "Never again". Again all this makes my reboot much more troublesome. Porn makes me feel "good", relationships make me really feel good when they work, but I can't have them both even if I wanted to. Again I don't know what to do..
I have read about the dopamine porn gives you and the dopamime that comes from other things. Many people think that dopamine with a reboot is not bad unless it's from porn. Of course they might be wrong but I somewhat feel the same way. Or should people just try to live life without dopamine to get rid of porn? Because that doesn't seem like a life to me.
Again, thank you Sampson Munk and pfree1805 (even though I didn't quote your text) for taking the time to read my post and reply to it, it really means a lot! I'm sorry if I seem whiny, I just wanted to honestly express my feelings.
PS: Sorry if there are some grammar mistakes. My native language isn't English so there's always a chance for mistakes
EDIT: One other thing I just remembered. In real life I always feel like that the girl's I'm with aren't "hot" enough. I don't know if this is because of porn or not, but that just makes me feel frustrated and sad at the same time, since very often I see girls that are super hot and I just think about if I will ever be able to be with a super hot girl, even though I think of myself as a handsome and fit guy, maybe I just lack the courage to get the hotter girls? And why this is especially bad is that with porn I can always "be" with super hot girls. If I can't get those super hot girls in real life, I just turn to porn..... Again, I don't know what to do. Life seems dull without porn at the moment, does it get any better?
