Getting reconnected with others; quitting porn
- Thread starter SETI
- Start date
CrazyGopher
Active Member
Glad to hear you are doing well.
I enjoyed reading your post from Oct 25 because the struggles you describe are the same ones that I am facing: avoiding pointless gaming, maintaining my meditation practice, listening to my own inner knowledge instead of the Internet, and keeping my diet in order (to name just a few).
Today I am wishing us both great success in these important areas.
I enjoyed reading your post from Oct 25 because the struggles you describe are the same ones that I am facing: avoiding pointless gaming, maintaining my meditation practice, listening to my own inner knowledge instead of the Internet, and keeping my diet in order (to name just a few).
Today I am wishing us both great success in these important areas.
Thank you Gropher!
I have been less on this forum lately, but still checking in quickly a few times a week. I am right now doing quite well with the MO business, and my 7-day-cycle seems to work for me. It feels like knowing that I can easily abstain for that time, the craving are very controllable. I didn't notice any real "hangovers" or anything, and my theory is that the binges when it happens several days in a row is the worst for me. I am quite content like this.
I have also started to feel more comfortable with being single and actually not having sex. Its not such a big deal for me at the moment, and I guess it will happen when I think I'm ready for it. Keep telling myself not to take things so seriously and just play around a little more in life. Small steps.
When it comes to meditation, I keep the flame alive and do a little something every day and it is really meaningful for me. Also, my workouts, diet and sleeping habits are becoming more stable, and I would say, maintainable. It feels like I've found some kind of level at the moment which is a good base to build on, and for once in a long time, I am starting to think about my health and what is good.
I have been less on this forum lately, but still checking in quickly a few times a week. I am right now doing quite well with the MO business, and my 7-day-cycle seems to work for me. It feels like knowing that I can easily abstain for that time, the craving are very controllable. I didn't notice any real "hangovers" or anything, and my theory is that the binges when it happens several days in a row is the worst for me. I am quite content like this.
I have also started to feel more comfortable with being single and actually not having sex. Its not such a big deal for me at the moment, and I guess it will happen when I think I'm ready for it. Keep telling myself not to take things so seriously and just play around a little more in life. Small steps.
When it comes to meditation, I keep the flame alive and do a little something every day and it is really meaningful for me. Also, my workouts, diet and sleeping habits are becoming more stable, and I would say, maintainable. It feels like I've found some kind of level at the moment which is a good base to build on, and for once in a long time, I am starting to think about my health and what is good.
Had a pretty hectic week and I am right now in quite a strange state of mind. Think I have been stressed out quite a lot and didn't sleep enough last night. Feeling like this today, I was thinking of MO and maybe it could calm me down a bit. Take my mind off things.... so I MO'd, and it was a perfectly rational decision and I know what kind of effects in brings, but somehow I thought it was worth it today.
I haven't used MO like this before, I didn't have a craving. This weekend I am visiting my mother in another town, and I am hoping to get plenty of sleep and time away from my school/internship to be able to recuperate properly.
I haven't used MO like this before, I didn't have a craving. This weekend I am visiting my mother in another town, and I am hoping to get plenty of sleep and time away from my school/internship to be able to recuperate properly.
In retrospect, I can see how this whole period of frequent MO the last few weeks have been nothing but a symptom of low dopamine, and just like the addict I am, the cravings appeared and I gave in. I get cravings for junk food and my diet has shifted more and more towards pizza and such food since I again started restricting my MO habit.
So, my plan now is to accept the hardship of reducing the 2 mayor factors in my life that effect high surges of dopamine. MO and junk food. The aim of this is to get my brain back to "normal". Of course I know my video gaming isn't helping, but I don't see this as a real problem to my health at the moment. Maybe it will have to go also, along the road.
I now feel certain that the reason I ALWAYS get depressed and withdraw from stuff is MO and junk food. These two create firstly a hangover I don't like, and secondly really hold off my reboot from PMO.
In response to this I have set the goal of 14 days for my MO, to give me some better chance to recuperate, and from there on, the most important thing I need to focus on is not binging. That means, after 14 days have passed, I can choose either to MO or to increase my goal to 30 days. Should I choose to MO after 14 days, I can only do it once and after that reset my counter to 14 or more days. The intention is to reach 30 days no MO.
So, note to self, if I come here when the cravings hit: DON'T DO IT!
What should I do instead? I think the best way to deal with it is to just be mindful of the craving, and looking at it directly. Not follow my habit of trying to eliminate the craving. The secret here is that, actually, the craving does not last very long, its just a thought/feeling, and the nature of such things are not solid. They will disappear by themselves.
This is the time to really put my theoretical knowledge into practice. I know I talk big, and I aspire to match my aspiration with my actions.
My brother once told me that it takes about 30 days to make a new habit, and just applying this technique for 30 days will make it easy!
SETI, when you read this again and have a craving, just trust your own wisdom and don't act on the craving! Watch it. It dissolves.
So, my plan now is to accept the hardship of reducing the 2 mayor factors in my life that effect high surges of dopamine. MO and junk food. The aim of this is to get my brain back to "normal". Of course I know my video gaming isn't helping, but I don't see this as a real problem to my health at the moment. Maybe it will have to go also, along the road.
I now feel certain that the reason I ALWAYS get depressed and withdraw from stuff is MO and junk food. These two create firstly a hangover I don't like, and secondly really hold off my reboot from PMO.
In response to this I have set the goal of 14 days for my MO, to give me some better chance to recuperate, and from there on, the most important thing I need to focus on is not binging. That means, after 14 days have passed, I can choose either to MO or to increase my goal to 30 days. Should I choose to MO after 14 days, I can only do it once and after that reset my counter to 14 or more days. The intention is to reach 30 days no MO.
So, note to self, if I come here when the cravings hit: DON'T DO IT!
What should I do instead? I think the best way to deal with it is to just be mindful of the craving, and looking at it directly. Not follow my habit of trying to eliminate the craving. The secret here is that, actually, the craving does not last very long, its just a thought/feeling, and the nature of such things are not solid. They will disappear by themselves.
This is the time to really put my theoretical knowledge into practice. I know I talk big, and I aspire to match my aspiration with my actions.
My brother once told me that it takes about 30 days to make a new habit, and just applying this technique for 30 days will make it easy!
SETI, when you read this again and have a craving, just trust your own wisdom and don't act on the craving! Watch it. It dissolves.
Eeeey, just dropping in to say I am feeling good! It seems my many months of no-PMO has made it so that when I do abstain for a while from MO, my mood, memory and interest in people bumps up quite fast!
I saw a girl at work today and I just thought she was so beautiful. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time it seems. Just been numb.
I saw a girl at work today and I just thought she was so beautiful. This is a feeling I haven't had in a long time it seems. Just been numb.
First real craving today, about 13 days no-MO. I seem to recall having cravings appear after a similar time the last time I had a 14 day goal. I wonder if it could be the "sexual satiation" after my quite recent binge which is weening off?
It got triggered by an ad on the internet while I was surfing.
I am thinking that my work actually starts now, and that overcoming this first hurdle is what really will start to change my brain. Up until now my brain hasn't really screamed for dopamine all that much, and keeping quite a good routine with sleep, exercise and food, I haven't really compensated in any obvious way to not MO'ing.
Since we don't exactly know how long it takes for the brain to change, but that it is probably in the region of 3-12 months, it looks like at least making it to 90 days should be a minimum effort for the sake of rebalancing the brain.
I shall stick to my plan and increase my goal in small increments as to not get ahead of myself, but at the same time, I have now adjusted my goal to 90 days, long term, as opposed to 30 days previously.
It got triggered by an ad on the internet while I was surfing.
I am thinking that my work actually starts now, and that overcoming this first hurdle is what really will start to change my brain. Up until now my brain hasn't really screamed for dopamine all that much, and keeping quite a good routine with sleep, exercise and food, I haven't really compensated in any obvious way to not MO'ing.
Since we don't exactly know how long it takes for the brain to change, but that it is probably in the region of 3-12 months, it looks like at least making it to 90 days should be a minimum effort for the sake of rebalancing the brain.
I shall stick to my plan and increase my goal in small increments as to not get ahead of myself, but at the same time, I have now adjusted my goal to 90 days, long term, as opposed to 30 days previously.
Was thinking I might MO now since I will be away over christmas and new year and be unable to MO, thus making my period of abstinence at least 20 days, instead of 14 days. I realized this kind of thinking is holding my progress back and making me an even bigger slave to dopamine rush.
I decided not to do it. I will take this chance instead to increase my time away from MO, and reap the benefits!
Actually, the feeling of wanting to MO took about 5 seconds to disappear. Thats all the will power that was needed. A good lesson.
I decided not to do it. I will take this chance instead to increase my time away from MO, and reap the benefits!
Actually, the feeling of wanting to MO took about 5 seconds to disappear. Thats all the will power that was needed. A good lesson.
Discipline
Member
me too man. I was about to MO, but decided not to at the last moment and came to the forum instead.
I am taking some time off of this site as well as keeping score of my MO habits. I want to focus on other things now.
Many thanks to you all and I wish you all have happiness and the cause of happiness. Special thanks to J who has been a great support and inspiration for me to change my life in a big way!
Many thanks to you all and I wish you all have happiness and the cause of happiness. Special thanks to J who has been a great support and inspiration for me to change my life in a big way!