Beginner - Experiencing Results

[Blue Bird]

I am happy I found Reboot Nation.  I have been masturbating the last 30 years. It has intensified during the time. I am married. Ten years ago I had prostate cancer and went on masturbating, although it was more difficult.  I also watched porn very frequently.  For 9 days I stopped masturbating and watching porn. I am a happier person.  I do not have any need to watch porn, but I strongly want to masturbate.  I do not know how long will it take to stop such a desire.  I stopped having desire to have sex with my wife several years ago. I want to  have the desire to have sex with my wife again, although viagra will always  be necessary due to the  prostectomy.  Is there anyone with a similar experience ?   

 

[fcjl8]

Welcome to this great community Blue Bird,

Getting porn and ultimately masturbation behind you will give a big boost to your relationship with your wife! I am married 31 years and we are closer than ever since I started my recovery about 2 years ago.

I am still trying to lock it down, but getting porn out of ones life is truly freeing, in all respects!

Good for you in addressing this problem that so many men ignore or deny!

All the best sir!!

 

[Gabe Deem]

@ Blue Bird

I do not know how long will it take to stop such a desire.  I stopped having desire to have sex with my wife several years ago. I want to  have the desire to have sex with my wife again,

I'm not sure the ramifications of prostate cancer/prostectomy on your sex drive and ability to function, but I suspect that a reboot would still work for you if you have the desire for masturbation but not for your wife.

Cannot tell you for sure how long that will take. But typically guys above 40 who did not grow up with high speed internet porn can recover within a few months, sometimes less.

Glad you found the Nation, I hope the best for you!

 

[LetItGoAlready]

Welcome, Blue Bird!

 

[Viper]

Welcome bluebird-
Your among many here going through variations of the same issue you're having.
Feel free to read some of the other journals and you'll see what I'm talking about.
Do you mind me asking what your wife thinks about what you're going through?

 

[Blue Bird]

Hello Viper:

Thanks for your message. The last days I have been reading journals a lot and it makes me  feel very much better.  It is a very silent battle.... My wife does not know anything.  She is a phisician  and would be very disappointed with me. There would be a war at home. I have to take viagra to make things work and it is not working the last year. Partly because of the prostatectomy 12 years ago, partly because of the radiotherapy. And, of course, partly because I have been seeing porn and masturbating myself for a long time..... What happens is that I hide myself behind difficulties #1 and #2.  I realized something was wrong when I had to do #3  in the bathroom after having sex with her. Such a shame.    My target is rebooting and afterwards having sex with her and see what happens. My natural erection  is 70% nowadays  and you know, it is not enough for intercourse.  So, I need viagra, 100 mg.    I feel very encouraged to go on and do my part with the help of all you guys in this forum.  I really appreciate  to have the opportunity to write down in details what is happening to me. I also am very happy to post comments to our friends here and help them emerge from their difficulties.  To show them that they are not alone.  I am 52 years old and I think there is still a lot space for a good sexual life if I do things correctly.    I also feel she is realizing I am different and much more sensitive to her needs and paying much more attention to here.  I used to see through the clothes of all women passing by me. It has reduced very much after the last 11 days.  I feel much more normal and Christian.  It is a good feeling and gives me more serenity.  I am very targeted in lefting all this behind and keep on giving attention to our friends in this forum.

Well, I hope it is not tooooo much  to my friends' ears.  Have a good evening.
Best regards.

Blue Bird.

 

[Tclay]

Hi Blue Bird,
We are all in the same boat here (in one way or another).  And all hoping the best for you.  I've been married 31 years and 40+ days with out PMO.  Things are going from dead to nicer in the wifey relations so please be encouraged.

This is an opportunity that can be life changing.  Good Luck!

 

[Blue Bird]

Hi Tclay:

Thanks. It is encouraging! I am glad your relationship with your wife is becoming better. I will also do my part and will do the  harvest some time in the future.  There is still a long way to go.
Best regards.

Blue Bird

 

[Viper]

  I realized something was wrong when I had to do #3  in the bathroom after having sex with her. Such a shame.

I know that feeling all to well. That's stroking with a semi stiffy just trying not to lose the erection. But then I would have to start thinking about my favorite porn girls to keep the engine running. But after the session, much like yourself, a few times I had to go to the bathroom and beat off. My snake would get harder and next thing you knew I was busting all kinds of nuts. Here it is, I have been watching porn just imagining what I would do the next time I was with a live woman. Now I'm with the live woman and it's in reverse. I have to think about the fantasy girl to get off. I thought for sure that if I browse for porn stars that look like my SO (significant other), then that would help. It probably made it worse.
That's when I knew I had a problem and now I'm in the middle of recovery.

   

My target is rebooting and afterwards having sex with her and see what happens. My natural erection  is 70% nowadays  and you know, it is not enough for intercourse.

Probably could only do the bare minimum with a level 7 mushroom tip. You can't cut loose the way you want and it's depressing just writing this knowing when I was rock hard constantly never knowing that this could happen to me.

  I am 52 years old and I think there is still a lot space for a good sexual life if I do things correctly.

I certainly hope so bluebird.

   

 

[Tclay]

Hey Blue,

Sex is not what it used to be when we first married but I'm just enjoying being able to do it.  It's been about 6 months.  Now we did it twice in two weeks.  I think I've turned the corner (for the moment).  Please be encouraged to follow through with your resolution to stop.

 

[Viper]

Hey Blue,

Sex is not what it used to be when we first married but I'm just enjoying being able to do it.  It's been about 6 months.  Now we did it twice in two weeks.  I think I've turned the corner (for the moment).  Please be encouraged to follow through with your resolution to stop.

That's awesome news tClay!

 

[Blue Bird]

Hi TClay:

Congratulations !  Good Job ! Your wife must be liking it.

Day after day I have less desire to masturbate. It seems like.... I am forgetting it (at list a bit)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I was fired from a big company where I have been working for 5 years due to political  games among the colleague officers.  At the end of the day there was the announcement to the whole company.....  Very difficult for me.  Be the talk at the hall. Well, it is not easy to find a good position in the professional market when one is 52 years old. At least where I live. I got a great support from my wife and daughters.  Did not get much support from my dick. I was thirsty to masturbate and relax after such bad day and deceptions with people.  I accepted the fact that I needed to have one.  I did it just once. And that is all.  Not watching porn anyway. The success is, not so far in the past I would not be masturbating myself for three days(to try to stop it) and consequently there would be an avalanche of crazy desire and I would end up masturbating 5 times on the same day.  I feel it does not happen anymore.  I am  having more control of myself. This is due to my everyday reading of articles and of our friends stories and their personal experiences. Plus the direct support in changing messages with all of you.  I am still in the middle of the professional and personal huricane. But I am surviving. Have a good evening. Thanks for the support.
Best regards.
Blue Bird

 

[Viper]

      That's a real tough break.
Sorry to hear about it. But I am happy of the support you get from your family who matter the most.
YOu got support on this forum too.
Hang in there, it was probably a blessing.
In a way, I'm happy I'm gainfully employed but I'm miserable and I hope I get laid off.

 

[Tclay]

I am sorry to hear this Blue Bird!  Politics can be brutal.  I've seen it in my big company too.  The support you get from your family will help, I'm sure.

Sounds like you have a history of medicating with PMO.  While I understand this ( I have a similar history) I can say that it only helps for a moment.  Longer-term, it totally complicates things.

Stay plugged in here.  Make this blog your hobby for a while, read other blogs and chip in with comments...  There is a bunch of story lines and some will resonate with you and you will learn concepts and techniques that will help you become the person you want to be.

Great success is possible!

 

[Blue Bird]

Viper and TClay:

I appreciated very much your comments. Thank you. Day after day. 

TClay:  I agree with you that such a medication is poisonous during a  longer time.  My target was to have one shot.  I am commited on this. I am already coming back to my equilibrium.

Viper: jobs are tough and all the same.  Where I live we say:  to change the job is like to change the flies, because the shit the flies bite is the same  ........  Hope you feell soon better  about your job and wish you strengh to make the change if this is going to be good for you.

Yesterday was my first day at home.  I was paid to stay 45 days working from home as a previous exit notification to help them go on with the assignments I left at the company, list and transfer the pending issues during this time.  I was very sick of them and of their non ethical behaviour. They just have a fa?ade of good behaviour and ethics.  No matter how difficult things are now (look for a new position, interviews, expectatios, awaitings, less $, etc) I feel free and will have the time I did not have working there.  I used to work more than 11 hours daily, plus several hours in the evening, weekends and holidays.  No time for me, few time for my family.  No time at all for friends and socializing. It is a a painful transition but I will survive and will be successful if I drive my mindset positively.

You both have a great day !

Blue Bird.

 

[fcjl8]

Dear BlueBird,

You will indeed survive this transition! Keep that positive mindset going sir!

You have brought a very positive attitude with you to RN.

I wish you all the best!
Paul

 

[Blue Bird]

Hey Paul -

Thank you so much for the kind words.  Hope you are doing well.

Next week I will have my first interview for a new position. I already shaked my networking.

Changing subject, I fulfilled my promise.  I had just one shot of M as reported above, and  no more....  I am very firm.

Today I got my first morning wood. I felt good.  I did not have that for a long time. Of course it is never very hard due to prostatectomy. I would say level 7.  I guess very soon I will have sex with my wife.

Wish you a good evening.

Best regards.

Blue Bird

 

[jstatca]

Hang in there blue bird - we're supporting you here! Thanks for sharing your story.

 

[Blue Bird]

Jstatca:

hey, thank you. Good to receive your message and comfort.
Best regards.

Blue Bird

 

[LTE]

It sounds like you are doing well, my friend. While changing jobs is challenging you will get through all of this. No matter what, porn and masturbation will not help a bit. Keep with it and cherish the value of the progress you've already made. It gets easier as time goes on.