Hi all. A bit about my story.
I am a 22 year old guy from England who has had Erectile Dysfunction for at least 5 years or more. It has severely knocked my confidence with the ladies over this time, and on the occasion I have been in positions to have intercourse with a girl, I have always been let down by my own body.
I went to the doctors with the issue about 2 years ago after getting a girlfriend and trying and failing on several occasions to have sex with her. I was bounced around several departments with all of them convinced that I had some sort of anxiety problems. The issue is, how can one have anxiety problems with yourself. I couldn't even maintain an erection on my own.
After pestering the doctors, they eventually gave me a Viagra type drug, albiet not as strong as Viagra. but before I even had chance to try the stuff out, my girlfriend broke up with me over the lack of intimacy I was able to provide. Slightly shallow but fair I feel.
So after this break up I went on a long dry spell of no sexual activity with women. I pulled a fair few in clubs, but that was the extent for about 2 years.
So in some way I avoided the problem and pursuing sex with women in general for all that time until last Friday. I had been dating a girl for about a month and thought she was incredible. Beautiful, funny and just down right cool! We ended up going back to hers on date five and once again I couldn't perform. I even took one of the tablets prescribed by the doctor and it didn't work. I don't know where this leaves the relationship. In fairness she was lovely about the whole situation but it was awkward in the morning and I felt like I had to lie and say it was the first time it had happened.
I did a lot of thinking over the next couple of days. If I lose this girl over this issue I will be so upset, and people may say it is shallow of a girl, but I for one don't see it that way. Someone who isn't an expert in ED (i.e the girl) may well think the reason is her not being sexy enough to give the guy an erection. Furthermore the first night with a new partner is meant to be one of passion and excitement, and when the guy cannot perform you lose that magical connection you crave for.
Anyway, I decided to take a look on the internet for any glimmer of hope in a way that could help me, and I believe I have found two reasons. I believe both are linked in terms of what has sparked them, and it goes against what doctors have told me - Too much masturbation.
But its more than that - Too much masturbation with PORN.
Ever since my mid teens I have viewed pornography very frequently, many times a week sometimes multiple times a day. Though not as bad as I was in my late teens, where I could masturbate around 4 times a day, I still have being doing it almost daily.
What I used to do because it was arousing, soon became something that I needed to do. At around 20 I ended up needing to masturbate before I went to sleep, in order to make me sleepy. I imagine it is similar to what Heroin addicts feel. After long term use you need it to feel "normal". All this time I may add, I was still struggling to maintain erections. As soon as I stopped touching my self my erection would subside immediately.
So this brings me back to the two issues I have now. One is an addiction to porn, where I no longer have a brain that interprets arousal properly. I have had to move onto some pretty weird fetishes just to become slightly aroused. I believe my subconscious brain no longer views arousal with real female contact. And because of that my conscious brain gets very nervous when with a woman in bed which adds to the issue.
Too much porn numbs the brain to arousal, so I am at a point no where I could watch your average porn film and it be like watching a documentary on mowing the lawn. Nothing happening downstairs.
The second, and I believe perhaps secondary issue is all the masturbation has damaged my kegal muscle, which is the one you essentially use when you stop urinating mid flow. This gives strength to the erection and also enables you to urinate in a healthy way. I have neither. When I finish at the toilet I always get dribbles coming out after I have finished.
So after all this introduction, I have one clear issue, which I believe is underpinned by 2 sub issues. This blog is essentially about my road to recovery, and to help me track my progress. Here is how I am going to try and fix my broken manhood.
Curing the porn addiction.
Its all going. The Porn is gone.
I want to reset my brain into viewing sex as a real thing and not something that you see on a computer screen. I will be abstaining from porn for the foreseeable future, and masturbation with it. I understand that the latter will be hard, just like it is for someone coming off a substance addiction for example, but I believe drastic changes are needed to sort myself out.
Kegal exercises.
I know how to do these exercises, but my kegal muscle is so weak, I struggle to perform these at all. That will not stop me. Everyday I am going to do the exercises and hopefully I will see improvement.
I will be using this blog to track my progress. I don't expect anyone to read it, but it is good just to have a way to get all my thoughts and feelings out. I can't lie to myself if I actively write things out.
I will also use this blog to track my progress with the girls, as I am tall, decent looking, in shape, red hair (I'm going to be viewing that as a USP from now on!) and intelligent. I have a good job so I should be a real catch.
Anyway this is just the beginning and I hope someday I can look back on this article as a turning point. I'm not setting a time limit on anything. I'm just going to keep going day by day and keep track of everything and we will just have to see how it goes.
I don't want to beat around the bush. There is pressure on this procedure, it needs to work. I feel my future happiness may rest on it. No biggie ey?!
I am a 22 year old guy from England who has had Erectile Dysfunction for at least 5 years or more. It has severely knocked my confidence with the ladies over this time, and on the occasion I have been in positions to have intercourse with a girl, I have always been let down by my own body.
I went to the doctors with the issue about 2 years ago after getting a girlfriend and trying and failing on several occasions to have sex with her. I was bounced around several departments with all of them convinced that I had some sort of anxiety problems. The issue is, how can one have anxiety problems with yourself. I couldn't even maintain an erection on my own.
After pestering the doctors, they eventually gave me a Viagra type drug, albiet not as strong as Viagra. but before I even had chance to try the stuff out, my girlfriend broke up with me over the lack of intimacy I was able to provide. Slightly shallow but fair I feel.
So after this break up I went on a long dry spell of no sexual activity with women. I pulled a fair few in clubs, but that was the extent for about 2 years.
So in some way I avoided the problem and pursuing sex with women in general for all that time until last Friday. I had been dating a girl for about a month and thought she was incredible. Beautiful, funny and just down right cool! We ended up going back to hers on date five and once again I couldn't perform. I even took one of the tablets prescribed by the doctor and it didn't work. I don't know where this leaves the relationship. In fairness she was lovely about the whole situation but it was awkward in the morning and I felt like I had to lie and say it was the first time it had happened.
I did a lot of thinking over the next couple of days. If I lose this girl over this issue I will be so upset, and people may say it is shallow of a girl, but I for one don't see it that way. Someone who isn't an expert in ED (i.e the girl) may well think the reason is her not being sexy enough to give the guy an erection. Furthermore the first night with a new partner is meant to be one of passion and excitement, and when the guy cannot perform you lose that magical connection you crave for.
Anyway, I decided to take a look on the internet for any glimmer of hope in a way that could help me, and I believe I have found two reasons. I believe both are linked in terms of what has sparked them, and it goes against what doctors have told me - Too much masturbation.
But its more than that - Too much masturbation with PORN.
Ever since my mid teens I have viewed pornography very frequently, many times a week sometimes multiple times a day. Though not as bad as I was in my late teens, where I could masturbate around 4 times a day, I still have being doing it almost daily.
What I used to do because it was arousing, soon became something that I needed to do. At around 20 I ended up needing to masturbate before I went to sleep, in order to make me sleepy. I imagine it is similar to what Heroin addicts feel. After long term use you need it to feel "normal". All this time I may add, I was still struggling to maintain erections. As soon as I stopped touching my self my erection would subside immediately.
So this brings me back to the two issues I have now. One is an addiction to porn, where I no longer have a brain that interprets arousal properly. I have had to move onto some pretty weird fetishes just to become slightly aroused. I believe my subconscious brain no longer views arousal with real female contact. And because of that my conscious brain gets very nervous when with a woman in bed which adds to the issue.
Too much porn numbs the brain to arousal, so I am at a point no where I could watch your average porn film and it be like watching a documentary on mowing the lawn. Nothing happening downstairs.
The second, and I believe perhaps secondary issue is all the masturbation has damaged my kegal muscle, which is the one you essentially use when you stop urinating mid flow. This gives strength to the erection and also enables you to urinate in a healthy way. I have neither. When I finish at the toilet I always get dribbles coming out after I have finished.
So after all this introduction, I have one clear issue, which I believe is underpinned by 2 sub issues. This blog is essentially about my road to recovery, and to help me track my progress. Here is how I am going to try and fix my broken manhood.
Curing the porn addiction.
Its all going. The Porn is gone.
I want to reset my brain into viewing sex as a real thing and not something that you see on a computer screen. I will be abstaining from porn for the foreseeable future, and masturbation with it. I understand that the latter will be hard, just like it is for someone coming off a substance addiction for example, but I believe drastic changes are needed to sort myself out.
Kegal exercises.
I know how to do these exercises, but my kegal muscle is so weak, I struggle to perform these at all. That will not stop me. Everyday I am going to do the exercises and hopefully I will see improvement.
I will be using this blog to track my progress. I don't expect anyone to read it, but it is good just to have a way to get all my thoughts and feelings out. I can't lie to myself if I actively write things out.
I will also use this blog to track my progress with the girls, as I am tall, decent looking, in shape, red hair (I'm going to be viewing that as a USP from now on!) and intelligent. I have a good job so I should be a real catch.
Anyway this is just the beginning and I hope someday I can look back on this article as a turning point. I'm not setting a time limit on anything. I'm just going to keep going day by day and keep track of everything and we will just have to see how it goes.
I don't want to beat around the bush. There is pressure on this procedure, it needs to work. I feel my future happiness may rest on it. No biggie ey?!
