mec.vivant
Member
[Day-0]
Hi y'all! ;D
I'll start with:
To be honest, I don't care because I suffered enough.
So, Gabe posted a "before you post" and I'm gonna follow it. So here's my journal.
So, I started since 11 and my dad watched porn as well. It was year 2000 sth so I started up with dial-up internet porn. Not magazines, online porn. Then, as you all know, internet speed goes faster and my habit becomes more frequent. Starting at 12, I masturbated everyday up to today. I'm a kid from 92, so I'm 23 years old.
Yes! I need to recover. I've tried to do it alone, but it just wasn't happening. This time(not that I opened a forum here before), I'll try to be completely honest and open about me, but please no hate/judge
I just want to feel accepted and supported. I imagine people who has drug addiction. Do they need to be judged that they are immoral because they used drug?
So, I've allowed you guys to e-mail me at [email protected] and please don't spam!
Some people tried to be brief, but I'll try to tell more about me because otherwise, how will I be helped if I don't open myself, right?
Let's start with a little bit more about me.
I'm just a guy born in March 1992, originally from Indonesia and currently living in Austin, Tx.
I was introduced to porn by my friends. Afterwards, I explored by myself and found gay porn and hentai/yaoi "pleasing".
I went through a phase where it was confusing to me because gay porn made me aroused. Back in my country, gay is a disgrace and shame. I always wondered that is my sexual attraction to guys because of porn? Because I can feel attracted to girls, but not sexually. Today, I don't like any "straight" porn, and a long time ago I tried straight porn just to know my body's reaction towards it (and yes, no reaction).
Four years ago, I tried to have sex with my (now ex-) boyfriend. I couldn't get my thing up! Then he said to me that it's fine if I need to watch porn to get me aroused. So, is he saying that it was not the first time he encountered this situation and knows the remedy was porn? Boy, how it effected my esteem when I couldn't get my thing up!
After that, I tried to find more about the thing that happened. And then I found out a TEDtalk about porn. It blew my mind and I tried reading more. The longest time I did wihout PMO was 2 weeks. And then I went back to everyday.
Now, I'm in a "complicated" relationship with a guy. We tried to have sex last month and again, I can't get it hard. Two nights ago, he said in a joking matter that maybe he needs a cucumber.
It hit me really hard!
So, I definitely need to do something about it!
Normally, I do porn when I wake up to really get me awake, and before sleep to relax me. Sometimes, I do it because I'm just bored. :-[
So yes, I won't flood the main forum with threads about what day I'm on.
And yes, I'll jump around
*Forum Rules*
[list type=decimal]
[*]No ad hominem attacks. (No attacks in general!)
[*]Be positive and supportive.
[*]Respect that others may have a different approach.
[*]Everyone has the right to an opinion.
[*]We are all here to help one another.
[*]If you do NOT have anything positive to contribute please do NOT comment.
[*]Constructive criticism is acceptable; personal attacks are not.
[*]Treat members in good faith.
[*]This is not the place to brag of sexual exploits.
[*]This is not the place to arrange dates.
[*]Whether or not you believe in a Higher Power is a personal matter. Do not attempt to impose your view of these things on others.
[*]You don't have to "correct" the thinking of others. It's OK not to comment at all.
[*]Do not suggest illegal or controversial actions.
[*]No encouraging the use of prostitutes. ;D
[*]If someone is struggling with sexual orientation doubts, he may have SOCD [sexual orientation obsessive-compulsive disorder]. Encourage him to quit porn, but don't try to analyze his orientation. He'll figure things out in time.
[*]Be careful of triggers.
[*]Don't name specific porn sites or actors.
[*]If you must discuss a potential trigger put an alert into place so that others can avoid it.
[*]When dealing with spouses of addicts be kind and not at all assertive. Remember, families, children, etc, are at stake.
[*]Avoid name calling.
[/list]
And let it begin!
Hi y'all! ;D
I'll start with:
"Who reads the manual Instruction?"
To be honest, I don't care because I suffered enough.
So, Gabe posted a "before you post" and I'm gonna follow it. So here's my journal.
Step #1: Choose an age sub-section and click on "New Topic"
So, I started since 11 and my dad watched porn as well. It was year 2000 sth so I started up with dial-up internet porn. Not magazines, online porn. Then, as you all know, internet speed goes faster and my habit becomes more frequent. Starting at 12, I masturbated everyday up to today. I'm a kid from 92, so I'm 23 years old.
Step #2: Give your journal a name
Yes! I need to recover. I've tried to do it alone, but it just wasn't happening. This time(not that I opened a forum here before), I'll try to be completely honest and open about me, but please no hate/judge
I just want to feel accepted and supported. I imagine people who has drug addiction. Do they need to be judged that they are immoral because they used drug?
So, I've allowed you guys to e-mail me at [email protected] and please don't spam!
Step #3: Take your time to tell us your story
Some people tried to be brief, but I'll try to tell more about me because otherwise, how will I be helped if I don't open myself, right?
Let's start with a little bit more about me.
I'm just a guy born in March 1992, originally from Indonesia and currently living in Austin, Tx.
I was introduced to porn by my friends. Afterwards, I explored by myself and found gay porn and hentai/yaoi "pleasing".
I went through a phase where it was confusing to me because gay porn made me aroused. Back in my country, gay is a disgrace and shame. I always wondered that is my sexual attraction to guys because of porn? Because I can feel attracted to girls, but not sexually. Today, I don't like any "straight" porn, and a long time ago I tried straight porn just to know my body's reaction towards it (and yes, no reaction).
Four years ago, I tried to have sex with my (now ex-) boyfriend. I couldn't get my thing up! Then he said to me that it's fine if I need to watch porn to get me aroused. So, is he saying that it was not the first time he encountered this situation and knows the remedy was porn? Boy, how it effected my esteem when I couldn't get my thing up!
After that, I tried to find more about the thing that happened. And then I found out a TEDtalk about porn. It blew my mind and I tried reading more. The longest time I did wihout PMO was 2 weeks. And then I went back to everyday.
Now, I'm in a "complicated" relationship with a guy. We tried to have sex last month and again, I can't get it hard. Two nights ago, he said in a joking matter that maybe he needs a cucumber.
No offense, but I'm afraid that yours can't get hard
It hit me really hard!
So, I definitely need to do something about it!
Normally, I do porn when I wake up to really get me awake, and before sleep to relax me. Sometimes, I do it because I'm just bored. :-[
Step #4: Keep all the progress updates in your journal
So yes, I won't flood the main forum with threads about what day I'm on.
Step #5: Participate in other people's journals
And yes, I'll jump around
*Forum Rules*
[list type=decimal]
[*]No ad hominem attacks. (No attacks in general!)
[*]Be positive and supportive.
[*]Respect that others may have a different approach.
[*]Everyone has the right to an opinion.
[*]We are all here to help one another.
[*]If you do NOT have anything positive to contribute please do NOT comment.
[*]Constructive criticism is acceptable; personal attacks are not.
[*]Treat members in good faith.
[*]This is not the place to brag of sexual exploits.
[*]This is not the place to arrange dates.
[*]Whether or not you believe in a Higher Power is a personal matter. Do not attempt to impose your view of these things on others.
[*]You don't have to "correct" the thinking of others. It's OK not to comment at all.
[*]Do not suggest illegal or controversial actions.
[*]No encouraging the use of prostitutes. ;D
[*]If someone is struggling with sexual orientation doubts, he may have SOCD [sexual orientation obsessive-compulsive disorder]. Encourage him to quit porn, but don't try to analyze his orientation. He'll figure things out in time.
[*]Be careful of triggers.
[*]Don't name specific porn sites or actors.
[*]If you must discuss a potential trigger put an alert into place so that others can avoid it.
[*]When dealing with spouses of addicts be kind and not at all assertive. Remember, families, children, etc, are at stake.
[*]Avoid name calling.
[/list]
And let it begin!