chicken strikes again

S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
There's a saying - "You can't make chicken pie with chicken sh*t"

That's a blunt and effective message. Use the best ingredients - bring the best of yourself to your life.

I'm liking Chicken Pie because that is what you are trying to do.
 
C

chicken

Active Member
Went back to the counsellor with my GF yesterday.  It really seems that my last slip has hurt her deeply.  I guess that she thought with over 100 days that it was all over and we could go about our happy lives.  Turns out that I managed to screw up that dream.  I am tired of hurting her, again and again.  It makes me want to not tell her if I slip again, but the counsellor (and my heart) advises strongly against that, a slippery slope.
 
Newborn Brain

Newborn Brain

Member
chicken said:
Went back to the counsellor with my GF yesterday.  It really seems that my last slip has hurt her deeply.  I guess that she thought with over 100 days that it was all over and we could go about our happy lives.  Turns out that I managed to screw up that dream.  I am tired of hurting her, again and again.  It makes me want to not tell her if I slip again, but the counsellor (and my heart) advises strongly against that, a slippery slope.
Click to expand...

If you really want to overcome this and stop hurting yourself and others around you, you can do it. What you need is spiritual support coming from a higher power (some call it different names, I call it Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and The Holy Ghost) and you also needs somebody who stands by your side...
It's your decision. It's your choice!
Believe it. You can be happy. You can learn how to be happy. You deserve to be happy.
 
S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
Hey ChickenStix (did you ever have those as a kid? They were the peanut butter crunch candy.)

Anyway, kids and I are taking a trip and now I have to find these for our trip junk.

I hope you treat yourself and be kind to yourself.
 
C

chicken

Active Member
Have a great trip SO....I have had those chickenstix!  I think I found them at Costco.
Well I have had my ups and downs lately and have decided to kick things up a notch.  I found a 12 step workbook at the book store along with a book of daily meditations and affirmations which is a quick way to set the tone for my day.  One day at a time.  I also picked up a book called "the porn trap" which seems to fit the bill.  I will let you all know.
 
PMOVictory

PMOVictory

Active Member
Keep strong Chicken

The book sounds great, and yes let us know what you think about it.

Stay strong and receive the Blessing!
 
C

chicken

Active Member
Well it is early days for my books but I am already finding the daily affirmations helpful.  It just gives me a quick thought to keep in my head and ponder as I go about my day.  I like that.  The Porn Trap is really hitting the nail on the head for me so far.  It follows a logical order in its progress of how we become addicted to porn.  So far so good.
 
C

chicken

Active Member
Nice love making with my GF last night.  Unfortunately I have had to watch myself today because of the chaser effect that I always seem to get.  Once I get some I always seem to want more the next day even thought I was absolutely satisfied.  Funny because that is not sustainable, and I know it.
 
C

chicken

Active Member
I didn't survive Friday, so now trying to limit my relapse to that single event.  I can't reset my counter for some reason, but today it should read 2 days.  As usual I am very emotional after a relapse, making myself all sorts of promises, even getting into the spirit of "this is a new beginning" my usual pattern.  Some moments of depression, anger, hopelessness followed by the exact opposite of all of those feelings.  I hate this.  I need to change something.  It has been 10 months since I first started down this path to quit PMO.  My longest streak being 110 days or so, so coming from a point where it had been daily for me is progress, so why do I feel like such a looser?  Is it my perfectionist personality or some other character flaw?  I am not sure.  I am still determined, I will not give up.  I have retooled myself and have gotten back up and dusted myself off.  I have committed myself that TODAY if will not PMO, and will have to be satisfied with that.
 
unchained

unchained

Active Member
Sorry...I know the feeling. Been bitten twice by the chaser.

The counter may start over, but your progress isn't back to day one.

Stay strong.
 
C

chicken

Active Member
I have found that after I relapse, I push my loving GF away, I seem to distance myself from her.  I can be a real jerk too.  I have been wondering why I would do that?  Is it the guilt and shame?  Perhaps I don't feel worthy of her love.
 
unchained

unchained

Active Member
You may just be in a bad mood for slipping.  Recognizing your behavior is half the battle.

I've been moody since I began reboot, both after a reset and just in general in what I assume is part of withdrawal.  I tell the wife when I am grumpy and sometimes just communicating that to her makes me feel a little better.
 
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