chicken strikes again

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savingmysoul

Active Member
Hang tough chicken - you may have slipped up, but you are not out of the fight.

Remember what you learned, what you felt, be present in what you were dealing with when yo slipped, and use it to prepare for the next time.  It is a slip, but each time you can learn, and continue to move forward.
 
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DeltaFosAware

Active Member
I had a slip I did not want to chicken. I've put it on a new post! Good luck to you mate, slips are slips but getting back skating on the ice is what we're really about! Keep going and keep posting!
 
PMOVictory

PMOVictory

Active Member
Chicken PMO was my only stress medication for many years of my life! Exam stress, relationship stress, work stress, moving house stress, PMO was my drug of choice. You are right, when you come to that simply realisation it makes you laugh out loud. Only thing to remember then is find other ways to deal with your stressors .... Not easy once you have fallen in love with your right hand from a very early age but certainly POSSIBLE!
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I can relate to what you are saying here. Having this awareness is profound and a great tool to overcoming the beast of PMO.

Quote from: chicken on August 22, 2014, 04:28:36 PM
Well I reset about 5 days ago.  I let the beast back in.  I stopped reading and posting on the forum, I have been unable to attend my SAA meetings and I haven't kept in contact with my sponsor.  I let all of my support go away, just neglect really.  One little peek and I am back at it, right back.  Well now I have to forgive myself and then figure out how to tell my GF.  I feel like I have let her down too.

Gonna call my sponsor...get rolling again.

This is just a stumble, not defeat.
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What you are saying here SORP is so true.

chicken
Stay strong you have learned a lot about yourself and the addiction of PMO.
I'm glad that you are honest enough and that you did reset your counter, in your own right that is a good character trait.
Take your learnings, move forward and be Victorious!

Stay strong and be Blessed!
 
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DeltaFosAware

Active Member
Chicken don't above all beat yourself up about this reset and remember you know what triggered it this time...That HAS to help! As I said previously, I was fact enough to jerk off to old mental images awakened by a fascination with something so far porn, it's hard to see the connection. What's more no nagging wife, great partner, no work stressors, spiritual life fine, relationship with God and the world good but I learn the dangers of SIMPLE BOREDOM! Ah, well I bet if we all thought. Ack to how many times we've jacked off just because we can. It be bothered to move or there's nothing on the Telly, we'd fill an auditorium with make voices saying 'been there, done that!"

It seems from research do e that our brains naturally crave stimulation. Leave a young baby a.one long enough in their cot after changing and feeding and they will cry because they are lonely. If we are tortured with sensory deprivation ?e will actually begin to make up images and see things that are not there....So I learn 'fill the space' .... come on here and fill it if need arise!

Good luck and keep on keeping on!
 
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chicken

Active Member
Well back to the forum again.

I have over the past two weeks, relapsed several times.  I got the thoughts in my head that now that I have lost my counter I might as well look at Porn some more.  Of course afterwards I would feel so low and then  swear it was my last time...A short cycle of Porn followed by guilt, and shame.

So now I am back to my SAA meetings, more regular contact with my sponsor, and going to go back to my counsellor.  I had all of these tools in place and let things slide.  I reset my counter now and am going to continue my recovery.  That will make these last two weeks a blip on my recovery, something in my past, as I continue to gain ground on my pornography addiction.

One of the hardest things that I had to do, was to tell my girlfriend how much I have been slipping up.  This addiction is so hard on her.  Her self esteem takes such a brutal beating.  I have, of course, explained that it really has nothing to do with her.  This doesn't change the way she feels though.  I hate putting her through all of that.  She is such a great person and deserves better.

So for those who are interested here is a snapshot of my stumbles, relapses and progress since I started keeping track of these things just after Christmas last year.  My first long streak PMO free was 41 days, and my next was 111 days.  I am now ready to keep going forward.

Thanks everyone for your support, advise, and encouragement.  It really helps.
 
PMOVictory

PMOVictory

Active Member
chicken

Glad you are back on the band wagon! We missed you and your regular posts!
Learn from your mistakes and move forward.
I think it is time for you to consider the porn is no option approach to beating this dragon!

Stay strong and be Blessed!

8) 8) 8)
 
Newborn Brain

Newborn Brain

Member
Good, better, best
Never let me rest
Until my good is better
And my better, best!

Congrats on your courage to confess! Dealing with guilt and shame are useful tools, from my experience, to defeat my inner enemies who want to put me in a cage...

Ever thought of changing your nickname? I am a behavioral coach and I know how important words are to trigger things in our brains and minds and to send messages to our body...

You may have been a chicken, but you can choose to become an eagle...

Think about it!

May God bless you and help you understand how much beloved you are and have been...

I'm with you, as the others here!

Greetings from rainy Brazil ;)
 
S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
chicken said:
Well back to the forum again.

I have over the past two weeks, relapsed several times.  I got the thoughts in my head that now that I have lost my counter I might as well look at Porn some more.  Of course afterwards I would feel so low and then  swear it was my last time...A short cycle of Porn followed by guilt, and shame.

So now I am back to my SAA meetings, more regular contact with my sponsor, and going to go back to my counsellor.  I had all of these tools in place and let things slide.  I reset my counter now and am going to continue my recovery.  That will make these last two weeks a blip on my recovery, something in my past, as I continue to gain ground on my pornography addiction.

One of the hardest things that I had to do, was to tell my girlfriend how much I have been slipping up.  This addiction is so hard on her.  Her self esteem takes such a brutal beating.  I have, of course, explained that it really has nothing to do with her.  This doesn't change the way she feels though.  I hate putting her through all of that.  She is such a great person and deserves better.

So for those who are interested here is a snapshot of my stumbles, relapses and progress since I started keeping track of these things just after Christmas last year.  My first long streak PMO free was 41 days, and my next was 111 days.  I am now ready to keep going forward.

Thanks everyone for your support, advise, and encouragement.  It really helps.
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Chicken,

You can do this. Remember what happened to Mrs. Lot when she looked back. Keep going forward, don't dwell too much on the stumbles - I know it is difficult, but you have such a better future ahead.

sorp

 
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chicken

Active Member
Trying to gain some serenity has been difficult.  My brain uses any non focussed time to imagine myself returning to porn.  So far I have been successful at ignoring this.  I know that if I can get some more time under my belt that this will get easier again.  I had managed to get myself stuck right back in to a PMO cycle quite quickly and now it is sure taking extra effort to escape from it.  For the short term I am happy with no P, but will soon get back to the no MO as well.  I have also expanded the traditional definition of P for myself to include no alluring images of any sort.  This way I can't rationalize myself around things which I am prone to do. My evil addiction can be so tricky.

Thanks for the posts.  I have always used the chicken handle as a tongue in cheek sort of thing.  Do you really think that I should change this? Newborn?

 
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savingmysoul

Active Member
Renaming your handle may be a small part in building the positive changes you need in behavior.

If you always see "chicken", you are reinforcing what that name represents.

Something more positive may help.

You also need to redirect that non-focused time to other activities, when you can. Give your brain a code word or a phrase and when you find yourself drifting, say that word or phrase to yourself.  Again see if you can keep it positive.

You can do this - your heart and soul are in the right place, just need to drag your brain there!

Good Luck my friend -
 
PMOVictory

PMOVictory

Active Member
Chicken you are doing great.

Stay strong!

The chicken...  does not bother me!  ;)

If you change it how will we know what your new name will be? Just a thought 8)
 
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chicken

Active Member
Well I am open to anything that might help...even if it is only a very little, I have nothing really to loose by changing my handle.

So now how about some suggestions?  Eagle, I heard.  How about Rooster, fighting Chicken?

I really like the idea about the code word when my brain is unfocused.  I think "red alert!" might work, although I know that is two words.

Yeeeehaaaaaw. One week!
 
S

SO Reboot Partner

Guest
chicken said:
Well I am open to anything that might help...even if it is only a very little, I have nothing really to loose by changing my handle.

So now how about some suggestions?  Eagle, I heard.  How about Rooster, fighting Chicken?

I really like the idea about the code word when my brain is unfocused.  I think "red alert!" might work, although I know that is two words.

Yeeeehaaaaaw. One week!
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I like BBQ_Chicken; Spicy_Chicken; Breaded_Chicken; Chicken_Soup; Sweet_N_Sour_Chicken and of course Chicken_N_Waffles.
 
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little179

Member
chicken nuggets..........!!  i think a name change would be a  good tonic......hang in there my little poultry friend, with the support of us all here you CAN and WILL do it. everytime you feel like a pull and a perv, come here...visit here as much as i did the porn sites, i would have been all over this reboot thing years ago!!
 
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