Taha Journal 3

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mtaha2015

Guest
Thank you guys who posted here and for the guys who posted in my old journal. thanks.
Yes I am busy with work-study and listening to affirmations too.
Good so far.
Long way to go.
life is tough,
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
Thanks guys for support. I got a great stretch and some time to regain my strengths.
I made to 4 days and 23 hours. I relapsed yesterday night again. well , this would happen, the way I was dealing my body. I was putting too much pressure. It was just like standing on one leg for 24 hours. I was creating imbalance and I got the result in way of relapse.
Now I am back on track yet again. I won't give up. I won't marry with porn. I want to divorce porn for ever.
after getting streak of 5 days, now trying to beat my previous best of 14 days on rebootnation.

again I failed to porn industry. industry of exploitation. I should see myself in mirror. How evil I have became. I have no respect for those women, who are being exploited like that in porn.

porn has made me evil. this is a fact.
and evil has no boundaries. I must leave porn.

going to Job guys early morning. lot of work to do today as well. but I am gonna give some rest to my body. No class at college though. I am tried of this kind of stress level. I wish I was born rich.

but grass looks green always from the other side.

lets focus on the recovery.
 
grayfoxxx

grayfoxxx

Active Member
It's ok Taha, you're really committed to this, I can see it. Step by step you'll certainly make it.

Just an advice: I would set your goal to 5 days again. You just did it, you'll do it again. When you get day 4, very close to your goal, set the goal to a week. It's only two days more, it will be easy. Then set to 10, and then to 14, to 20 and so on.
This strategy helped me (and is still helping) with the M counter. I don't know if it works with everyone, we're all different. it's up to you.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
Though Right now I am going through chaser effect. My fantasies are totally out of control. my cravings level is 7 out of 10.
but I have noticed few things I want to share.
Its all about mind power and mind control. with the time, you can control your sexual release.
The most successful people like Einstein, Abraham Lincoln and newton had highly developed sexually natures.
They definitely use to had sex, but frequencies would be very less and there might be long time intervals between sexual release too.
the more less you masturbate, the more strong you become. just try yourself, if you don't PMO or do sex till 100 days, you can fill the warrior inside yourself too.

I would say, so the less you masturbate is good for you. with time, we can increase and delay time intervals between masturbation.

Well , I am failed in doing this, but this is my research and knowledge I am sharing you with you. our brain is a system, the way you program it, it will behave that way.

going through the chaser effect will be the most hard part of this new streak.
 
robust

robust

Active Member
To be honest, I think that you are expecting too much. Abstaining from masturbation and/or sex won't make you a warrior. Of course, there are benefits. But it's not something "evil" Or "bad" to do. You put too much pressure On yourself. Absistence might be a nice tool (especially for people with bad habits (habits! - I'm not even talking about addictions)), but nothing more like a tool.

Either you are the warrior you want to be or you are not the warrior you'd like to be. I didn't research much, only the things I considered necessary. I didn't put that weight on my shoulders. I didn't want to become that warrior. I just was the warrior.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
robust thanks for the post. by warrior I mean , strong man. who can face any trouble boldly.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
I didn't masturbated but I watched porn for about 1 hour.
so I think I relapsed. so starting the counter once again.

Count of affirmations I heard = 2
Goal to Reach = 100

Hundred is the goal. as soon as possible I have to reach there.
 
jnv

jnv

Well-Known Member
Hang in there man. Say F.U. to that shitty industry which already fucked us up enough. We are stronger than that.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
completely out of control community.
trying again and again to get back on track.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
I can feel the chemicals and dopamine in my brain right now. I am eating my brain by watching these explicit scenes in my life. I sick and tried of watching porn.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
I did tried. but what happened, I couldn't do my homework, i don't why the porn blocker was blocking my homework website. I had to reinstall the windows.
I have became slave to these women in porn.
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
again relapsed.
my life is the problem and porn is the symptom
i need to gear up stuff in my life.
I am losing to the stress level in my life.

 
adrian

adrian

Active Member
Hey there guys! Seems like you need to be a bit more strict with yourselves.

I'm not talking that you should feel guilty after relapsing, but try to remember the negative aspects that come around you after the 5 minutes of PMO and the browsing of the P.

Do you really want to have severe depression and anxiety again just to see some hottie you'll never meet face 2 face? In my mind this is not worth all the trouble, I for one am tired of feeling like shit several days just for a wank.

Seek real sex, real pleasure with real persons and don't be afraid to try out. If it works, it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. There's no need to be ashamed, you really don't know how often it happens to girls to meet with guys and have interactions and they just don't work.
It happens a lot, so remove the anxiety and just enjoy some quality moments!

Stay strong and hardcore!
 
DayByDay

DayByDay

Active Member
Hey mtaha,

I am sorry to hear your having some trouble with the rebooting process. The good thing is I believe once you get past the first week or two you will be in the clear and will find it gets easier and easier.

Try and look back over the basics, set out rules for yourself, set out small (but gradually building) goals. I think you need to look at why you want to give up PMO and write these reasons down and make yourself re-read them everytime you want to PMO
 
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mtaha2015

Guest
adrian said:
Hey there guys! Seems like you need to be a bit more strict with yourselves.

I'm not talking that you should feel guilty after relapsing, but try to remember the negative aspects that come around you after the 5 minutes of PMO and the browsing of the P.

Do you really want to have severe depression and anxiety again just to see some hottie you'll never meet face 2 face? In my mind this is not worth all the trouble, I for one am tired of feeling like shit several days just for a wank.

Seek real sex, real pleasure with real persons and don't be afraid to try out. If it works, it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. There's no need to be ashamed, you really don't know how often it happens to girls to meet with guys and have interactions and they just don't work.
It happens a lot, so remove the anxiety and just enjoy some quality moments!

Stay strong and hardcore!
Click to expand...

thanks adrian, your post is really a eye opener for us. sex is not the thing I looking for right now, I am looking for the core of my problem, what is going wrong in my life, that I am hurting myself so badly.
I just want to fix PMO first , then I can think of sex. real sex will be a totally different game , can turn into another lust for me. so I will be very cautious before even going there.

 
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