Bye bye porn

[powerlift225]

"You've gotta call 10 people to get 9 "No's" and 1 "Yes".  Then you have to call 100 people to get 10 "yes's" just to get 1 person out of 100 to buy your product!"

- my Dad discussing how he started his financial business and getting people to discuss their finances with him.  He was trying to get a point across - to be successful, you're going to have to face a lot of "no's" before you get to that "yes".  (He recently celebrated his 50th year in business).

Can you see the correlation I'm trying to make here with your story from last night with the ladies?  Just like me, you're going to have to sift through a lot of "no's" before you get to a "yes".  I like to say "it's part of the game". 

Here's another thought (also from my dad):

Babe Ruth (baseball legend if you didn't know) had the most home runs in his era...that being said, he also had THE MOST STRIKEOUTS!!!

If you're going to hit a home run, you've gotta take a swing at the pitch and don't be surprised if you strike out a few times - just keep swingin!  8)

 

[mtaha2015]

swinging ?
what do you mean by that ?
keep swinging?
you mean change strategies ?

 

[powerlift225]

i'm pretty sure madfranc gets what I'm talking about.  He and I have been chatting a bit.  You're just jumping in now and I'm not sure what you're getting at.  Elaborate?

 

[Will Stalwart]

Yeah I get it

Just got a message from some of the boys. I've not seen them in a while so I'm getting ready to go for a few (too many) drinks. Round 2. Time to take another swing, and maybe I'll hit that home run.

 

[mtaha2015]

I was just trying to grasp the information.
he don't need , but I was trying to understand your point !

 

[powerlift225]

Atta boy madfranc, way to put yourself out there again.

I had a weekend of just staying in hoping to get invited out to a couple parties but my "in's" left me hanging.  So that sucked.  It's depressing to sit at home waiting for the call that will get ya in to the party.

Anyways, I worked and lifted hard over the weekend and ate well.  So i'm feeling great.  Just missing that social aspect of life haha.  Moral of the story: don't sit around and wait for someone else to get you out there.  Get yourself out there! 

Lesson learned (again haha)

One word of caution: try to limit the alcohol.  Continue to ENJOY the alcohol but try to limit yourself to 2-3 drinks when you go out.  Why?  Just in terms, of fitness and staying (or getting) lean and strong, you can't crush drinks every weekend and be at your best in the gym.  They are polar opposites.  Learning to master the social scene while casually limiting the amount of alcohol you consume is tricky.  But it's part of the process to becoming a fit individual - so figure it out if being fit is one of your goals.  I personally will have a single shot of vodka soda and maybe another or maybe a light beer and after that, I switch to a pop or water.  No body bugs me.  No body even cares what I'm drinking.  As long as they see a drink in my hand...they assume it's alcohol.  So everyone wins  8)

Of course you can let loose for your friend's bachelor party or a special occasion but no more than once per month.  Just be prepared for the repercussions the next few days while you recover. 

I'm an advanced lifter - training is a huge part of my life.  I'm also on two hockey teams.  Sport and training is a daily thing for me.  Nutrition and Rest are constants in my life as well as avoiding anything that hurts my performance.  So that's where I'm coming from.  Women love my body but ironically, I don't have much time for them haha.  I'm also busy sleeping and eating in between all the lifting and hockey...not to mention work lol.  No body told me growing up that being exceptionally fit was a full time job haha. 

Anyways, I hope you had a great weekend.  Good luck this week with your work/school/training/ladies  8)

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 1 - I'm back

After my last post I caught myself looking at porn more often than I was comfortable with. I therefore made the decision to lock away my laptop for a while. And it helped a lot. I thankfully haven't had much on recently that would necessitate it, and so I sailed through the time with no PMO problems.

But as you have no doubt noticed, I have reset my clock. Over the weekend, hungover and in bed, I PMO'd while looking at my phone. A weak moment and I slipped up. Since then I have MO'd another couple times, though I have been PMO and MO free for a few days now. But this is my official reset, my line in the sand; and therefore I will start my clock from today.

While I was frustrated at myself at first, I am over it. I understand why I did it and have accepted and learned from it. I am still in a far better place than I was when  I began this journey, and although my clock is reset, my progress is not. My laptop is out of its cage for now, and i have no desire to watch porn. If the need builds again I may stop updating for a short while and lock away my laptop again.

We all make mistakes every now and then, but these do not define us. What defines us is the way we recover from those mistakes. Do we feel sorry for ourselves and let it get us down, or do we accept them, learn from them, and then keep pushing forward!

I know how I plan to handle it.

 

[Will Stalwart]

Hey powerlift,

Hope you're still doing well. I took your advice of watching my drink, for the most part. Big weekend with friends visiting from home. I had just a bit too much. Totally screwed me over. Though I think part of the problem was striking out on a girl I was sure I had a chance with (going to partially blame alcohol again on that one).

Cutting down on computer time and drinking has given me more time to focus on gym and diet, and I've seen some of the best gains I've had in a while. I've started recording and graphing everything. I can be a bit of a stats geek, so it's a good way to motivate myself. Despite my slight PMO fail (which I'm not going to focus on too much) it's been a very good few weeks, both personally and socially. I have been out with friends more, reading, writing my personal journal. Now that I'm allowing myself access to my laptop I'm really going to have to monitor my usage. I really don't want to get suck into a pattern of internet binging, which can happen easily. I also find too much time online can lead to peaking here and there. But I think if I avoid using my laptop for procrastinating I should be fine.

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 2 - Brainfog

Today has been an incredibly boring day. Hard to motivate myself, just sitting round doing nothing. This reflects how I felt a few days when I first quit PMO, so I think I can blame this feeling on my recovery. Should be back to normal tomorrow. Hit the gym, try out a new recipe in the kitchen, and then head out for a few beers with friends. I find distraction is the greatest ally in this endeavor.

 

[mtaha2015]

Positive distraction is sure a ally in reboot.

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 3 - Back to Normal

Feeling loads better in comparison to yesterday. Trip to the gym, and a day with friends will do that. The brain fog has cleared and I feel as though I can actually get stuff done. No strong desires to PMO so all is good.

Tomorrow night I'm off for a trip out to see some friends. A night out in a place I've never been before. The place itself will most likely be a bit boring, but so long as I've got the lads to keep me company I can guarantee it will be a good night!

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 4 - The Sex Dreams

All going well on the PMO front. But one thing I've noticed is the intense and vivid sex dreams. I'm pretty sure I didn't have anything like this before I gave up on PMO but now it's most nights. They have to be some of the most vivid and real dreams I've experienced. As if I can feel every touch and sensation, hear every sound. It's mind blowing. It doesn't seem to be having an impact on my recovery, and is just some weird and amazing side effect. It reminds me of how amazing sex can be with a real partner. If anything it is driving me towards real sex and not the artificial stimulation you get from PMO.

Don't know if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing?

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 5 - Hungover

I was out visiting a friend last night. We were all in a very merry state, a 10 drinks before heading out state. The night was great fun from what I remember, but I am paying the price for it today. It would be so easy right now to fall into the PMO pattern, but I don't plan on giving in that easy. I think I'll have a nap and then try to keep myself busy. Maybe I'll do some work on my dissertation, which I just found out is likely to be published

 

[powerlift225]

Hey man, just checking in on ya.  I've been so busy for quite a while now. 

Played hockey four of the last 5 nights.  Still up wrapping up some important business.  Setting more 400+ lbs deadlift records over the weekend in between all that hockey.  My nutrition is rock solid.  Sleep has been okay (late hockey games throw me outta whack).  Ideally, I'd like to be in bed by 11pm but as long as I'm getting 7.5 hours a night...I can manage it all.

Lifting felt great last week and I'm pretty much done healing.  I can get back to some serious lifts again tomorrow after a nap lol.  Sleep is so key to training hormones man.  Lots of rest equals high testosterone which means strength and muscle.

I have years of every lift performed in the gym so good on ya for tracking your training.  "If you track it, you can manage it".

I haven't gone off/pmo'd in forever.  It feels great.  I don't look at anything bad but God help all the women I check out.  The ladies around me must be able to sense I'm drooling over them haha.

I've noticed two positives that are possibly correlated:

1) Dick & Balls are FULL.  I'm like...so confident cuz my dick and balls are so pumped all the time now haha.  It's neat.

2) My muscles are also looking fuller/vascular.  My veins are more pumped up the longer I go without PMO.  Cool right?  I love it.

Here's something interesting:

I'm super aggressive...not sure why.  It's like I'm on pre workout (which I don't take...and I stay away from caffeine).

In hockey, I'm a beast.  Anyone steps on me...I crush them.  I'm just so pumped.  Same with in the gym.  Maybe it's because my body is dying to have sex???  So all my manly hormones are coursing through my veins like crazy.  It's weird and cool man.  I feel so Alpha Male these past couple weeks.  Even the way I talk to women has changed.  It's flippin awesome.

Idk...I'd say it's been almost two months since I looked at porn and it's been at least 3 weeks since I MO'd.

I am eating super healthy, training hard, and sleeping lots, and flirting hard with women.  Maybe all of that has me pumped up?

I'm just talking out loud hoping maybe you've experienced something similar and can shed some light?

ugh...it's 1am here.  I gotta hit the hay so I can get 5 hours sleep before morning work.

Tell me more about this publishing opportunity???  That's a pretty big deal.

I'm pretty "dense".  I lift weights and take slap shots every day.  I eat and sleep.  Dissertation is a very big word for me haha.


oh and ps:  I get the crazy sex dreams and they are f'ing wicked!!!  love em! 

pps:  lets have a race to see who can get laid first!!! hahaha

 

[Will Stalwart]

Hey powerlift.

Glad to hear its all going well. Now that I'm back into another stretch I can feel those benefits again. No f*cking way I'm giving up on this again. Such a stupid slip up after all that hard work.

I've read that boxers often go without sex and MO for periods of time before their fight. I guess they get that same buzz that you have right now. Interesting thing is, no sex/PMO has been shown to lower testosterone. So whatever these effects are, they are not hormones, so it has to be something else. And I think it is that primitive drive to get laid, which we loose out on so much when we PMO. Might do some more reading on this, see if I can get to the bottom of the phenomena. I felt it towards the end of my last stretch too, and am kind of curious to know why. Well, there goes my night....

Oh, and the publication thing is where I get some of my research published in a journal. Basically all scientific studies go into one of these things if there is anything too them. Most researchers can have multiple publications a year. This will be my first one, however, so pretty exciting.

As for that competition, you're on! I hope you haven't been laid yet so we can do this right. Love a bit of competitive encouragement.

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 11 - Cruising through the past week

I can't believe it's been so long since I posted. Guess I've just been busy. The busyness has definitely helped, after all, idle hand makes the devils work But in all seriousness, I've not had any real urges, and the temptation has been pretty low. I don't think I'm in a flatline as I've experienced one of those before. A flatline to me is a pretty surreal experience, where I don't feel entirely like myself. Also there is still movement below the belt which certainly suggests otherwise.

In fact I can't help but notice girls everywhere. I'm going to a music festival tomorrow and I'm just hoping the weather is good. All those girls in their summer cloths. Plus it gives me the chance to talk to some of those girls, and who knows But if the weather is not so good I think I'll skip the muddy field and go to the gym. Join my friends for drinks after instead

Either way tomorrow is shaping up to be a good day.

And to my comrades out there who may be struggling - Stay strong and carry on!

 

[Will Stalwart]

Day 12 - Sex

I'm going to write this while it's still fresh in  my head and before I go for a bit sleep. Simply put, last night I had sex.

I was out with friends yesterday, and seemingly out of nowhere, in a bar which was incredibly quiet, I ended up talking to a cute girl. Of course one thing led to another and I ended up heading back to her place, along with a friend of mine who had been talking to her friend. Once we got back, this girl really put me through the gauntlet. Never have I had to work so hard to have sex. She called me out on all my bullshit, and generally didn't make it easy. I honestly thought that it wasn't going to happen at one point. So somehow I got her into bed, but this wasn't the end of the torturous questions she put me through. We were in bed for a solid half hour before we even made out. Honestly, if I wasn't so eager to have sex I would have probably walked out. It was the most frustrating process ever for what we both knew was a one night fling.

But in the end I persevered. I let her think she'd won whatever game she was playing and we got down to it. I won't get into too much detail, but the sex was fantastic! Best I've had in a while. In the end, however, I still could not orgasm from sex or oral. It is such a frustrating feeling. While I have certainly seen some improvements, I'm clearly far from recovered. Though it is a reminder of what I'm working towards.

Feeling good today, but I'm completely sleep deprived, and a bit hungover. I think it's time for a nap.

 

[DayByDay]

Happy to hear about your success last night Franc! You are right not to be dwelling on not Oing. In time it will come (pardon the pun) if you keep doing what your doing.

Did you have any PIED or was everything working as it should ?

 

[powerlift225]

Damnit!  YOU WON THE RACE haha.

good job/good win

 

[Will Stalwart]

Thanks for the encouragement.

DayByDay - I used to get PIED especially when using a condom. Last night however, everything was working pretty well. That isn't to say I was at 100%, but staying hard was not the uphill battle it has been in the past. So definitely on the road to recovery.

Powerlift - Yeah, I honestly wasn't expecting it to happen so soon! Guess I got lucky. It feels great knowing I still have the ability to get laid after not having sex for such a long period. It's a great confidence boost. And I'm sure you won't be far behind me.