I want my life back! (OCD, Depression and Porn Addiction)

[DeltaFosAware]

That's a very good point about never intentionally TRYING to push a thought or image out of your head. It's a technique I learned decades ago in counselling. In fact, it's like saying to somebody 'What ever you do, DON'T think about the Big Red Bus.' What's the FIRST thing you think about?

Another useful technique is simple distraction therapy! I was nearing a mental breakdown when my first wife walked out on me and the kids. Oddly enough the way to 'fill this thinking time' was to get back to work! If not so much a 'distraction' work was good 'displacement' therapy! In fact, it was quite amazing how productive I became at work! To this day I recall earning enough over time to get a decent car, tax it, insure it and keep it filled with petrol! Seriously, it was wonderful! In fact I wanted to phone the EX up and thank her for motivating me to earn stuff I really liked.

So yeah, like 'floaters' in your vision, just let the thought or image float in and float out! Above all, chill and try not to stress!

 

[Alanator]

Masturbated again after 7 days. I came to a picture of my gf (I admit I had some other girls in my fantasy too, which sucks :/ ) and touches. I think I'm improving.
Considering this the last time until I hit the 90 days of no masturbation.

It's also been 25 days since I PMO'd and I'm happy I'm stayin off it.

I feel a little guilty though, now that I masturbated :/
But yeah, OCD has its ups and downs along with the withdrawal symptoms.

Gonna post soon

 

[DeltaFosAware]

Personally I think you have to define your addiction as to porn, not masturbation. You do risk firing up old pathways to porn fuelled pathways if you continue to masturbate, I would not disagree but you also rid your self of self created sexual fantasy.  In fact, imagine if you say have felt disempowered in a relationship and maybe that led you to use porn as a means of re-empowering your masculinity. If you produce your own sexual images, via your own thoughts,while distracted from that ready supply from the televisual 'wank bank', you will help recreate your own potency. Naturally you will also self please and there is nothing wrong with self pleasing! After all, through self pleasing you can learn to pleasure others. This will also help stop a massive build up of sexual
Tension and get you back in control of your personalised erotic collection, fully supplied by an active imagination that does not rely on pre-generated, fake images.

This is just my own view. I base it on the fact that I have been perfectly able to masturbate without porn. Yes, it's always tempting just to be lazy and reach for the keyboard but that's something you become able to choose and not something that chooses you!

 

[Alanator]

Ugh, I had to masturbate. After 4 days I needed the release. I feel guilty... Even though I did it to a pic of my gf. I admit, I got turned on by porn leftover thoughts but I concentrated on her and the feeling (my dick has gotten more sensitive) while I was doing it. I don't know if I can get through 90 days of no sex or anything.

My question though, why do I feel guilty after masturbation? Porn wasn't involved.

 

[Alanator]

Gonna reduce my masturbation to once a week. 90 days seem way too hard. I'm glad to be off porn. I just hate the sex that's on TV so often... Other than that i'm okay. Withdrawal symptoms are hittin me hard still. 
Will I ever be back at normal?

 

[DeltaFosAware]

Seems like a good idea to me. In rewiring your neural circuits one thing it should help you do is focus on physical sensation rather than images. Also, however much you might try, your brain is not then fired by the same of click fest of novelty, reward, more novelty, greater reward and so on like a hamster on a wheel! You set the time, place and duration of the experience. It will also help to relieve what will be some very physical tension.

 

[Alanator]

My libido is comin back I guess... I recently came by just touching slightly... I think my dick is starting to get sensitive again

 

[DeltaFosAware]

That is excellent. I am sense the same return in libido as well. Educating yourself back into NOT creaming with just an initial touch is difficult. To my mind it's all about mental focus. I would say 90% of the erotic sensation is going on in your head. Although you can centralise on your dick, try to keep your thoughts moving as ?ell. Above all else keep the thought patterns POSITIVE, even self congratulatory! Why not just tell yourself what a great guy you are? Try the old 'positive self talk'. I have to say others on here have talked about the 'death grip' which I am sure most males have experienced but maybe we can try other sensations, possibly more total body focused. It's too easy to transfer our death grip pace to a female sexual partner and expect instant response. They simply don't work that way...If we can learn a bit of 'self delay' then we can better please our partners.

 

[Alanator]

After a sleepless night I ended up looking at facebook profiles of chicks and ended up masturbating to them... but then I realized it's gonna end up really bad so I stopped and did it to my girls pics.. is that a relapse? I'm on day 54 off porn or nsfw stuff... I really don't wanna be set back :/

My girl told me it was okay and that I made a mistake cause I was overtired and whatnot. I just feel really guilty.

 

[MeepMan]

I wouldn't count it as a relapse, this whole process of rebooting is to stay away from porn. I've made the mistake of ending up on a hot girls facebook too, it can happen way too easy. But I'd make an effort to avoid fapping over pictures.

 

[Alanator]

and I ended up masturbating to a nsfw gif of a chick bending over showing her ass.... freakin stupid me. I hate being overly tired and needing the release. Is this a relapse? Or is a relapse only if I go back to porn? I really should stop masturbation... I hate myself.

 

[Alanator]

Alright so after a really rough 5 days I decided on getting on a pornsite... I watched some light videos (nothing hardcorde.. amateur and a feet - sorry if I triggered something)

I watched like 3 vids (total of 5 mins maybe?) but I then told myself this is wrong etc. I didn't relapse, right? I did not cum by watching porn. Surprisingly my erection didn't want to stay up because my conciousness was telling me it was wrong and my girlfriend will be mad at me. Oh well. I just don't wanna break the 115 days I've come to... but yeah.
Can I please get some reassurance that I did NOT relapse/need to reset my streak.

 

[MeepMan]

I wouldn't count that as a relapse, you didn't respond to the porn