The life of Pi

[Pi]

My path to this addiction is a common one. It stated with collecting pictures of the "page 3 girls" from the newspaper as a 10 or 11 year old. The fascination with pictures, as that was all there was back then, never ended. With the advent of the internet, the problem really got out of control. I got hopelessly addicted to one particular type of porn, and it came to dominate my life. It took up a huge amount of time. It was a constant distraction and reduced my concentration span to almost nil. It impacted on my work and my relationship with my wife, and (I am certain of this) contributed to anxiety and loss of vitality.

I've been a member of another forum, such as this, for just over 9 months. I learned a lot and am happy with the progress made. I've had a few stints of 3 to 5 weeks free of PMO. Recently, I have stalled and seem to be in a phase where I PMO approximately every 2 weeks. I am ready to up my game and face this addiction with renewed vigor. Joining a new forum represents a fresh start for me.

It's nice to see several guys from another forum here; your support has been crucial to my progress to date and I am grateful for that. I hope I am able to reciprocate in some way.

I'll set a counter soon. For the record, it's 36 hours since my last session of PMO and this is what led to it: I got back from a full-on business trip overseas, and wanted an escape, so PMO is where I went. That's become something of a pattern for me. I can focus for a few weeks until a significant event, and then afterwards I take a willing tumble into PMO. The loss of vitality, etc., that follows a session of PMO, is really annoying me. Figuring out an alternative to using PMO as comfort to wind down after stress will be a key in the next steps of my progress.

 

[LTE]

My path to this addiction is a common one. It stated with collecting pictures of the "page 3 girls" from the newspaper as a 10 or 11 year old. The fascination with pictures, as that was all there was back then, never ended. With the advent of the internet, the problem really got out of control. I got hopelessly addicted to one particular type of porn, and it came to dominate my life. It took up a huge amount of time. It was a constant distraction and reduced my concentration span to almost nil. It impacted on my work and my relationship with my wife, and (I am certain of this) contributed to anxiety and loss of vitality.

I've been a member of another forum, such as this, for just over 9 months. I learned a lot and am happy with the progress made. I've had a few stints of 3 to 5 weeks free of PMO. Recently, I have stalled and seem to be in a phase where I PMO approximately every 2 weeks. I am ready to up my game and face this addiction with renewed vigor. Joining a new forum represents a fresh start for me.

It's nice to see several guys from another forum here; your support has been crucial to my progress to date and I am grateful for that. I hope I am able to reciprocate in some way.

I'll set a counter soon. For the record, it's 36 hours since my last session of PMO and this is what led to it: I got back from a full-on business trip overseas, and wanted an escape, so PMO is where I went. That's become something of a pattern for me. I can focus for a few weeks until a significant event, and then afterwards I take a willing tumble into PMO. The loss of vitality, etc., that follows a session of PMO, is really annoying me. Figuring out an alternative to using PMO as comfort to wind down after stress will be a key in the next steps of my progress.

Good to have you with us, Pi. Keep on fighting.

 

[Gabe Deem]

What's up Pi,

Welcome to RN.

I learned a lot and am happy with the progress made. I've had a few stints of 3 to 5 weeks free of PMO

Use your experience to acknowledge your triggers before your craving for porn takes over. It is awesome you have gone up to 5 weeks clean. If you did it once you can do it again!

I'll set a counter soon.

Go here when you are ready to set up your counter.

The loss of vitality, etc., that follows a session of PMO, is really annoying me.

You might find this article of use: Men Does Frequent Ejaculation Cause A Hangover?. Finding that alternative for your stress sounds like a good idea. I suggest intense exercise if you don't already do it. Helps me tremendously.

 

[Viper]

That's become something of a pattern for me. I can focus for a few weeks until a significant event, and then afterwards I take a willing tumble into PMO. The loss of vitality, etc., that follows a session of PMO, is really annoying me. Figuring out an alternative to using PMO as comfort to wind down after stress will be a key in the next steps of my progress.

This is a point that doesn't come up that much in the trenches of PMO. The loss of vitality and energy. Or even chi if you know about that. It's like your life force fades away slowly. You're not as alive as you want to be and you're trying to figure out what's sapping your energy.

I'm glad to read about how revitalized those on here have experienced after re-booting. You're on the right track

 

[The Dude Wannabe]

Pi,
  First off: sorry I missed wishing you a happy "Pi Day" last Friday!  3-14 ya know.  You mentioned making it two weeks and then something happened and you PMO'ed.  Was the trigger just coming back from your trip?  What there more defined trigger than that?  Sometimes just naming that trigger and realizing what it is takes much of its power away.
    Hang in there.  Figure out those triggers and then disarm them. 

 

[LTE]

While it's important to know your triggers in order to avoid them it is even more important to keep in mind that you are always in control and you do not have to be triggered by anything whatsoever. Ultimately, you learn to control your thoughts and not even entertain the idea of PMO. if you do this you will not be caught in its grip any longer.

 

[The Dude Wannabe]

Gents,
  That last post from LTE, " it is even more important to keep in mind that you are always in control", hit a chord with me.  I know that I have control, but sometimes I just don't want to exert that control.  Funny thing this control of ourselves.  Speaking for myself: it isn't that I don't have control, its just sometimes I chose not to use it.  Don't know if it was laziness or that I enjoyed getting carried away by things sometimes.  I'm working on building up my "control" muscle so it doesn't take that much effort to use it.    It doesn't cost anything; I bet it doesn't use any calorie; it doesn't cost us any pain (probably prevents a lot though...); so why do so many of us not engage it?

 

[LTE]

In the book Breaking the Cycle the author repeatedly asks the question; "what is always true?"  It turns out that the thing that is always true is that you are in control. That was worth many times the price of the book.

 

[The Dude Wannabe]

3 days with no Pi.  I'm hoping you're just super busy and doing well.  Keep working man.  This is a strange, but worthwhile trip.  Looking forward to hearing from you again here on the forum.

 

[LTE]

How are things, Pi? 

 

[Jverhoye]

Hey Pi, just read your first post.  I totally get the "unwinding with PMO" cycle.  I did it for years and years.  There is hope, though, and you can change and find other healthier ways to "unwind."  Sometimes for me just getting up and walking for 5-10 minutes is all it takes.

 

[Viper]

How's it going on your journey Pi?

 

[Pi]

Here I am again, back for another try. I don't know what to say or where to begin. Being away from here for a month means that I have been on a binge of PMO. It's familiar territory to me. I'm not sure what is going to be different "this time around". The fact that I've been here (day 0) so many times makes we wonder if I'll ever dig my way out of this pit. But there are several guys here and at YBR who are succeeding with this, so I will try to emulate them.

There are a lot of habitual behaviors that I need to change, mainly to do with use of the internet. I'll begin with aiming for 3 days free of PMO. Then take it one day at a time from there.

Right now, I am full of excuses to go back to PMO. I will need to work on my mindset.

 

[LTE]

Here I am again, back for another try. I don't know what to say or where to begin. Being away from here for a month means that I have been on a binge of PMO. It's familiar territory to me. I'm not sure what is going to be different "this time around". The fact that I've been here (day 0) so many times makes we wonder if I'll ever dig my way out of this pit. But there are several guys here and at YBR who are succeeding with this, so I will try to emulate them.

There are a lot of habitual behaviors that I need to change, mainly to do with use of the internet. I'll begin with aiming for 3 days free of PMO. Then take it one day at a time from there.

Right now, I am full of excuses to go back to PMO. I will need to work on my mindset.

The most important thing to to remember is that it is possible to be free. That was very empowering information.

 

[Pi]

The most important thing to to remember is that it is possible to be free. That was very empowering information.

Thanks LTE, that's exactly what I need to know at the moment.

It's only Day 1 and I feel that a burden (to engage in PMO) has been lifted, simply because I have decided not to go there. Instead, I am glad to be in action and getting on with the things that need to be done.

Had a mild anxiety attack last night and couldn't get back to sleep after 4:00 am. Part of this may be an after-effect of PMO, but I think another reason for the attack is the realization that I have let too many things slip in my life through giving huge chunks of time to PMO. I know that once I have a few days to my credit that things will begin to improve.

It's good to be heading in the right direction again, even if there is a long way to go.

 

[LTE]

The most important thing to to remember is that it is possible to be free. That was very empowering information.

Thanks LTE, that's exactly what I need to know at the moment.

It's only Day 1 and I feel that a burden (to engage in PMO) has been lifted, simply because I have decided not to go there. Instead, I am glad to be in action and getting on with the things that need to be done.

Had a mild anxiety attack last night and couldn't get back to sleep after 4:00 am. Part of this may be an after-effect of PMO, but I think another reason for the attack is the realization that I have let too many things slip in my life through giving huge chunks of time to PMO. I know that once I have a few days to my credit that things will begin to improve.

It's good to be heading in the right direction again, even if there is a long way to go.

That's what it comes down to. You can't go there.

 

[Jverhoye]

Great to hear from you, Pi!  The community continues to grow, and you will continue to be supported in your recovery.  Have an awesome day!

 

[Pi]

A quiet day today. All is well and nothing to report.

 

[LTE]

Good. Just take it a day at a time.

 

[LetItGoAlready]

The fact that I've been here (day 0) so many times makes we wonder if I'll ever dig my way out of this pit.

Don't get discouraged. Conquering this takes time and patience. Just keep telling yourself that you WILL dig your way out of the pit...and keep digging. We are here to support you, friend.