Pisces21 said:
Hello all! So I relapsed this morning, after what would have been 4th day in the streak, and it was due to a combo of morning wood and the horniness that coems with that and some sexual fantasies... I thought I would be strong enough to just not do it, and I'm still not sure why I decided to just give in, I guess the pleasure was just too tempting..
At any rate, my goal is to go the whole 2016 clean and I am starting today, so I would like to know some good tips to dealing with morning urges and fantasies, that seems to be when Im most vulnerable
Hi, Pisces. You can find several tips on my journal's front page (links), but some things I can say now:
This all boils down to habit:
A. Urge and response = habit.
B. Urge and [change up, or abstain from] response (repeatedly) = changed habit.
Do something different. Sure, you wake up with morning wood, that just means you're healthy. Have a reminder somewhere that you can see it immediately upon awakening that reminds you of your goals. Don't make it judgmental, though. Something that is urgent, but gentle. It could be a note you write to yourself, it could be a reminder wrist band, something... Or, you can even have a prerecorded message to yourself to wake you as an alarm, a pep-talk of some kind.
It's also about building up confidence in your power of choice again, as it's eroded since your bad habits. Set up small goals for yourself, it doesn't even have to be related to this- but prove to yourself that you can decide something, and stick with it. Move this into the area of porn/masturbation, setting small goals at first.
It's great that you want to stay away from it for 2016, and this is certainly possible- but break up 2016 into smaller bites (four 3-month goals?), or even smaller, whatever will do it. Right now, it may be too monumental a task, and you'd set yourself up for failure.
Be well.
