New to forum, starting my recovery

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vetrn

Member
So,,, I haven't been around a computer that last 2 days and it has been pretty cool not having the 'temptation' there.  Spent some real quality time with the wife and kids, which reminded me why I wanted to marry her and start a family in the first place.  Am still pushing forward,, just wanted to let everyone know that there are good days ahead....

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Tclay

Tclay

Active Member
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Sounds like reality is pleasant!  It's infinitely more satisfying (but you knew that).
Keep on the path!
 
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vetrn

Member
Well,,,, another down in the books.  A good day to boot.  Was able to look some of the women I work with in the eye with no objectifying that I can recall.  This is a good thing.  Am glad to be moving along on the road of recovery.  There have been some moments of temptation recently, but I just get up and do something different to get occupied.  Still not out of the woods by a long shot, but I will prevail and make it to the goal... each day is a victory in it's own right and that's what I am trying to hold on to at this time.  That and I am starting to see my wife in a similar light as when we first met,,, a very good thing I might add.

Thanks for the continued support.

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gibbsy09

Member
Hi didn't know if I should start my own thread or just contribute as we are all in quite similar situations but not identical anyway I have been off porn for roughly three weeks the reason I say roughly is because I never marked the date but have in the past and have fallen off the wagon after 2 weeks but now I am on 3 so far so good.
Just woke up never looked at porn and carried on from there I have ED and hope it is porn induced but don't know for sure.
Not in the same boat as some of the married guys as I am single but have had a few embarrassing dates of late that have led to the bedroom knew I probably couldn't perform and just made pathetic excuses to save face don't know exactly when I became addicted but know I am got my pc 12 years ago best and worst thing I ever did.

As I said about three weeks free from porn absolutely no morning wood how long is this expected to last what is reboot and flat line is there stickies on here where I can read about these things and find out what to expect as I want to beat this once and for all because up until 3 weeks ago porn ruled my life woke up semi hard thinking of porn turned on my PC and I think you no the rest but now I am waking up with a floppy nothing just dead down there I have masterbated a couple of times without porn but I am reading now that this is bad and can set back my recovery if there is to be any lastly guys if I have overstepped the mark and have hijacked this thread I appoligise and I will be happy to start my own thanks.
 
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gibbsy09

Member
Hi second post but just wanted to say that I now have an idea what rebooting is and flatlining should have looked at the video first but never noticed it and jumped the gun and posted on here but the video was so informative and spot on I have fallen off the wagon on a few times and once it is done it is done and you let porn back in and you say well I've done it now so may as well carry on the next day and the next until you come to your  sences and usually for me the trigger is when I am not really enjoying the porn anymore feeling guilty not as hard as I was when I first fell off the wagon and the novelty has worn off again and I realise that I have just undone 2 weeks or so good work with just one click.

And one of the triggers for me to start watching porn again is if I am watching a normal movie and see a sexy actress I will look her up and see if there are any hot pics of her but I just tell my self am only going to look for her pics nothing else but that's me sucked back in so what do I do stop watching movies no that's not going to happen so the only thing is no searching for pics because then for me I know there is no way back I no this is common sense that I have just explained but I have recognised one of my triggers so now I can pick up my tablet and search for things that interest me or shopping.

But probably now for me the strongest deterant is that the good feeling and enjoyment will only last a few days because I believe I have progressive porn ed through years of use eg page 3 when younger mags then eventually the internet so what is the point when not looking at porn I feel like I am missing something but I no the truth is that I'm not and I crave something better and that is a healthy sex life.
 
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vetrn

Member
Gibbsy09 you are more than welcome to post here on this thread.  There is no wrong place to post.  Welcome to the group and keep the faith.  I am glad that you are doing well in your recovery, keep moving forward with it.  I believe the ED aspect of this varies from person to person as to duration.  I have noticed after just 11 days on the wagon I get some semis in the morning.  It's also hit or miss in that arena for me as well.

One thing I have started doing more of is getting out and being active and away from the PC more and more.  I find this a healthy deterrent from slipping back into the cycle.  By doing this, I am usually too tired to mess around on the PC which decreases the temptation to pull up Porn.  I also am limiting the type of shows I watch on TV/Movies to those that are family oriented rather than the ones that push the envelope of decency and porn. 

I wish you well with you recovery and don't be afraid to post.  We are all in the same boat so to speak and your story may help someone else break cycle just as many of the other stories on here have helped break the cycle for me.

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gibbsy09

Member
Thanks vetrn I appreciate the welcome and also good luck to you as well it is good after 11 days you are even getting semis in the morning I am getting zero lol so I am going to get the organic side of my problem checked out again as I am now 43 I had it checked before and they said I was OK and suggested Viagra so it may be age don't know.

Am not married as I said but back when I was 24 I met someone I fell in love with at the time and moved in with them it lasted for six years but then we split up I got my own house liked my indipendance then decided to enter the computer generation which was good at first and I learned quite allot compared to what I used to know which was zero but really I know that my computer may have been my downfall I think my very first search was porn on my PC no lol I know it must have been and after 3 days of what I thought was Christmas and birthdays all at once lol I crashed my PC with a virus thought I had broke it phoned Acer they told me to take it back to factory settings then there it was back to as good as new until 3 days later lol and I'm not jocking hence why I started to learn a bit about PCs.

I have had some relationships since getting my PC but nothing to write home about and that girl I moved in with a few years ago wasn't my first but was my longest and we did have a daughter together who I love to bits but same as you guys porn took over my life sometimes I would be up all night viewing it then would be going to work in the morning starting at six sad lol and when I was back shift I was running late sometimes and just made it in on time so I would be running around like a blue are fly all over the head of porn I would be late meeting family and friends then feel like s**t afterwards it could fill a whole day easily because we all know it is a time killer and the time just flies when you are surfing so something had to give I have not deleted any of my porn so i know I am hanging on to something so just hope I can keep going with just will power but I know that all it can take is a bad day at work or on a downer and I will be looking for my fix so to speak because this is a real addiction but I will delete it all on my own steam but  those videos are spot on the longer you stay away it does get that wee bit easier and I hope it stays that way cheers
 
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gibbsy09

Member
Hi just to clear up any confusion if you read my post above I wasn't viewing porn online till I moved into my own housebefore that my sex life was good with the girl I mentioned above just in case I confused yo lol. 
 
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gibbsy09

Member
Blew it last night so f*****g angry with myself but can't change what I've done back to square one this is hard no doubt.
 
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