That's it, never again!

Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
I've come to realize something.

I've always tried to 'solve my problems' by figuring things out. Like figuring out porn was increasing my depression, and that is why my life isn't exactly the way I want. I've had expectations that were too unrealistic - doing all kinds of 'wonderful' things to prove myself - having my own company, working for myself, and other stuff.

Not anymore, I will accept I am just another human being who needs one thing, God.
 
B

Boo

Guest
KC,

I've read through some of your archived posts dating back to last year. Obviously, your struggle is as real as anyone's here. BUT, you've had some great insights and advice that you should take yourself. Sometimes we lose sight of what we already know. You CAN do this. Let's put together a good streak. Incremental progress. One day at a time. Peace. (Gal 5:22-23)
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
I lie to myself, I tell myself, if I don't feel as depressed, that's okay. I lie to myself, that if I tell my fianc?, it's okay. I lie to myself, I can handle it by myself, I don't need anybody's help or accountability, and that I am okay.

Porn addiction is not okay. I steals your life, it steals the love you have for others, it steals you away from others. It murders, it lies, it steals. It is meant to suck the life right out of you, to keep you from embracing life as it was truly meant to be.

I will stop. I will do whatever it takes to get rid of this disease.

I know what worked for me in the past. I will not watch porn today.
I will take time to meditate about God and his will in my life.
I will take time to take cold showers.
I will take time to exercise every day.
I will take time to learn about myself every day, and live a life that is meaningful to me.
I will make short-term, mid-term, and long term plans.
I will live each day at a time.
I will face the inevitable cravings with patience and courage.
I will remind myself of how awesome living a life without porn really is - the energy, confidence, love, and concentration.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Man, it's nice to see myself reaching my goals this time around. The one day at a time mindset is good.

I'm going through shits loads of withdrawal, upset stomach, lack of energy, widely changing emotions. I hat the first week, it can be so difficult on our bodies and minds!

But I will not fail, I'll stick this out. Porn is not a fucking option. I am not going to watch. I'm going to overcome this because Jesus overcame the world. If he can do that, so can I, I can overcome these withdrawal symptoms!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Omg,

The withdrawal symptoms and the cravings right now!!!!

My mind is going ape right now.

Just one breath at a time.

I can do this.

If Gabe went through this, any of us can.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
I had a huge craving this morning, for one particular star.

I searched her name,mane found out in Wikipedia she retired because she has become a Christian. That in itself helped me. It's funny how God works.

After, I read my bible and prayed.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
On day 12,

I feel very crappy today. The cravings to give in and watch porn are very high.
When I think about not watching it, the worse the feelings get.

The craving has abated!
 
fyg

fyg

Well-Known Member
Hi Kurall Creator,

I'm glad the craving has abated. That happened to me last night too... Noticed it lasted about three hours.

Peace, dude.

edit: PS. Sorry that was such a quick post, means as I've not posted on your journal before. Just posted in my own, re: 'cravings abated' inspired from reading your latest post.

Cheers.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
No worries fyg,

On day 13 now.

Still had some cravings, but it is getting better. I can beat this. The craving was as overriding as the ones I had yesterday.
 
R

RecoveryJunkie

Active Member
Hang in there KC, go for a walk or something. Remember that the problem is in the mind so change the mindset. Get out and take a walk or go to a coffee shop. Don't stay in a vulnerable place. Think wholesome thoughts.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Everything is going pretty good today!

Day 14  and things are finally starting to calm down.

Cravings, come get me! The more I go through the stronger I get!
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Time to start over again.

I did so good coming here every single day, and I know that has a lot to do with the success I have had so far in this reboot.

This is only a small, temporary setback, and I will continue to go further!
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Addicted brain is addicted.

But I can get up, dust myself off, and start again.

I know it is inside of me, to love learning, love my life, love my fianc?, and love the world. I can do this!

I can learn to love again.
 
Kurall_Creator

Kurall_Creator

Active Member
Time to start over!

By the grace of God, I will leave p behind.

I will run to other things, like cold showers, talking to loved one, and exercising, instead of watching p.
 
M

malando

Moderator
Staff member
Moderator
Kurall_Creator said:
Another day without p!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;D
Click to expand...
thumbs-up-sign.png

Nice work. Every day matters!
 
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