Farewell to the dark passenger

A

aslowturning

Member
NoMorePr0n said:
And one point I was actually thinking about watching porn at home as if I totally had forgotten that i'm quiting porn.
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Been there man!  P is cunning baffling and powerful. Way to keep the car on the road N! Don't beat yourself up about the objectifying. It is something that happens. More distance from P will help with that.

AND SPEAKING OF DISTANCE!!!!!! Congrats on 3 Weeks P free. It is inspiring to me!
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
I went to the gym tonight. I know that working out should actually help me to get healthier, both in body and mind, but boy...the beautiful girls there are sure dangerous triggers. Do you guys have the same problem? How do you deal with it?
 
B

Branch

Guest
NoMorePr0n said:
I went to the gym tonight. I know that working out should actually help me to get healthier, both in body and mind, but boy...the beautiful girls there are sure dangerous triggers. Do you guys have the same problem? How do you deal with it?
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Maybe because I grew up in a house full of sisters, and I know my sisters so well, I'm not in the habit of seeing women as sex objects.  At least I wasn't before I got hooked on porn 5 years ago.  Since falling into the porn trap, I've been more likely to objectify women. When I do, I remind myself that women are human beings with hearts and minds and personalities and everything else that goes with being human.  I think of my sisters and my friends who are women. I remind myself that women aren't merely physical beings put on earth to pleasure men.  I check myself and try to get back to who I really am--a guy who notices the beauty of women but doesn't leer at them, who respects them and treats them with respect.  I try to be a gentleman. But porn conditions us to objectify women, so it's not always easy. 

This is a tough one.  All you can do is recognize it and deal with it as best you can.
 
A

aslowturning

Member
NoMorePr0n said:
the beautiful girls there are sure dangerous triggers.
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This is a problem for me and I venture to say many here. It is also summer complete with summer wardrobes so I struggle a lot. So I just try to let the thoughts come and go and not get glued to them. I have had difficulty recently but I think I'm getting better.

AST
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
I woke this morning from a porn dream. I was dreaming a porn scene and my mind was making it up, it wasn't a scene from the past as far as I know.  Now i spend the morning trying to push back the thoughts about it. My mind is working really hard to get me to look at porn now. I will try to work it off in the gym, just hope there will not be to many hot girls there to pull me even further down :-(
 
fyg

fyg

Well-Known Member
Hi NoMorePron,

I'm with you, dude. Hey man, I'm quite sure you will know this as we can sometimes think that our current mindset is 'how it is and always will be'... But, Just remember that these urges pass Brother.

As is said, 'Learn to love withdrawals'. It's a sign that you/we're healing :)
 
B

Branch

Guest
NoMorePr0n said:
I woke this morning from a porn dream. I was dreaming a porn scene and my mind was making it up, it wasn't a scene from the past as far as I know.  Now i spend the morning trying to push back the thoughts about it. My mind is working really hard to get me to look at porn now. I will try to work it off in the gym, just hope there will not be to many hot girls there to pull me even further down :-(
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Actually seeing hot girls isn't as tough as I said it was--I just didn't want to seem arrogant.  It is a challenge, but the trick is to respect them, to see them as people, not as objects put here simply for our sexual pleasure.  After all, do you really believe that's what women are?  Appreciate their beauty, but tell yourself you can be mature and respectful when you see an attractive woman.  I think you can do this.

 
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NoMorePr0n

Guest
Hi Branch,

Ofcourse i don't believe that is what women are and i've always been respectful to women. But this is about the subconscious mind, I do not choose to be turned on by these girls but it happens. It is quite normal i think, although during reboot it's more intense for me. I guess it wil pass with time.

Anyway survived another weekend, the hardest one yet in my latest reboot.

Thanks for the support!
 
B

Branch

Guest
NoMorePr0n said:
Hi Branch,

Ofcourse i don't believe that is what women are and i've always been respectful to women. But this is about the subconscious mind, I do not choose to be turned on by these girls but it happens. It is quite normal i think, although during reboot it's more intense for me. I guess it wil pass with time.

Anyway survived another weekend, the hardest one yet in my latest reboot.

Thanks for the support!
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I've had a hard weekend too, man.  Glad we both got through them!  Keep it going!
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
Hi guys,

I feel quite good today, I had a weekend full of big cravings but they have passed and although not gone entirely they are much less now.

One of the things which is very different from my previous reboot is sleep. In my previous reboot I suffered from heavy insomnia, but now I actually have pretty good nights of sleep. I guess that is a good thing  :)

I'm almost halfway towards my initial target, and it feels great. In two weeks I will have reached my longest streak ever!

Stay strong my fellow rebooters!
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
Hi Guys,

Today I'm halfway towards my initial target of 60 days.  ;D
I guess that's something to celebrate!

But now that 'Phase 1' is done, it's time for 'Phase 2'

Most guys that have had several relapses like me know that willpower alone is not enough.  These first 30 days for me were mostly about surviving, now it's time to look ahead. What we really need to do is give our lives a new direction and purpose.

This is what my new life will be:
1) I will find a loving woman to spent my life with. A woman who understands me and cares for me because i am me. I am so longing for someone who puts her head on my shoulder again and gently touches my leg. My confidence is growing and I know this woman is out there in the not so distant future.

2) Work out. I will do regular workouts to keep myself healthy and more fit. Just also bought a bike so I can do some biking. The environment where I live is perfect for that.

3) Meet new people. I have lot's of friends but I still get energy from meeting interesting new people. Just found out about http://www.meetup.com/
Give it a try guys, I think this site can be helpful, especially if being alone is a trigger for you.

4) finally do all the f*king chores that i have been putting off for way to long!
You're talking to the king of procrastinators here... :eek:

Question: How will you give your life a new direction?

Thanks to everyone here on the forum. Just being here for each other is really a big key to success guys!
 
B

Branch

Guest
NoMorePr0n said:
Hi Guys,

Today I'm halfway towards my initial target of 60 days.  ;D
I guess that's something to celebrate!
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It sure is.  Congratulations!
NoMorePr0n said:
But now that 'Phase 1' is done, it's time for 'Phase 2'
Most guys that have had several relapses like me know that willpower alone is not enough.  These first 30 days for me were mostly about surviving, now it's time to look ahead. What we really need to do is give our lives a new direction and purpose.
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I agree that willpower alone isn't enough, but for me it's an important piece of the puzzle, along with knowledge, strategies and commitment, which is the main thing.
The amazing emerging field of brain science shows that willpower can be increased in a number of ways.  One of the main ones is exercise, so by working out you're increasing your ability to withstand temptation.  There's a great book, THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT, that's full of ways to increase willpower, and it's an entertaining read.  A few others--get good sleep, get outside everyday, set goals, meditate, laugh. 
NoMorePr0n said:
This is what my new life will be:
1) I will find a loving woman to spent my life with. A woman who understands me and cares for me because i am me. I am so longing for someone who puts her head on my shoulder again and gently touches my leg. My confidence is growing and I know this woman is out there in the not so distant future.

2) Work out. I will do regular workouts to keep myself healthy and more fit. Just also bought a bike so I can do some biking. The environment where I live is perfect for that.

3) Meet new people. I have lot's of friends but I still get energy from meeting interesting new people. Just found out about http://www.meetup.com/
Give it a try guys, I think this site can be helpful, especially if being alone is a trigger for you.

4) finally do all the f*king chores that i have been putting off for way to long!
You're talking to the king of procrastinators here... :eek:

Question: How will you give your life a new direction?

Thanks to everyone here on the forum. Just being here for each other is really a big key to success guys!
Click to expand...

Excellent plan.  Excellent perspective.

How am I giving my life new direction?

Good question.  I'm working a lot more and enjoying it.  Like you I'm trying to get caught up on all the stuff I ignored while I was wasting so much time with porn.  Some days are very productive and I cross stuff off the To Do List.  Other days not so much.  Either way, I'm being patient with myself, remembering the main thing is no pmo.  I'm exercising more, though not as much as before or as much as I want to--so working out more is still a goal.  I'm still adjusting to the return of normalcy and priceless ordinary days.  My focus and ability to appreciate friends, people in general, nature, music, reading--life in general--never left me but porn diminished it, and I see it returning.  My mind has slowed down in a good way.  I'm a helluva lot happier just to be alive.  I have a long ways to go but things are definitely improving.

Great to see your progress--keep it going!

 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
I'm suffering from really big cravings right now! My willpower still pulls me through but it's getting harder  :-[

An old favorite scene keeps popping up in my head. I've literally been shouting 'NO!' for several times but it keeps on bullying me. In the past few weeks i could fend off these thoughts much more easily. It is confusing why not now :(

Hopefully i wil feel better after some sleep.
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
Doing better, the big cravings have gone. I know they are still lingering somewhere but i showed them once again who's boss. Hopefully it will be helpful to know to you guys that even the big cravings will subside eventually. Don't give in to the cravings! The reward will be worth the anxiety you will have to deal with!
 
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NoMorePr0n

Guest
Something seems to have changed in the last few days. More then ever I seem to be able to punch the thoughts about porn in the face whenever they come up. I hope this is the reward I got for the last few weekends which where tough but i survived them! I will not let my guard down and I know I still have a long road to go, but this is the first time I'm noticing some real progress.  ;D

Day by day i'll get there! 
 
N

NoMorePr0n

Guest
Another milestone! 40 days! Really starting to feel the benefits now! Today i haven't thought much about porn or the reboot that i'm doing. It is getting part of my system which is a very good sign i think :)

Strength to all of my fellow rebooters!
 
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