Saving my relationship

[Vincent]

Hi Pierre,

might be a viable solution, yes. However, If I want to find something, I will. I will go around google, I will look at stuff and so on. You are right. they provide a buffer zone. Maybe I will reinstall them. But in the end I only can kick my but. Because what will I be doing if there is no buffer zone any more? that Is what I am most afraid of.....

Jnv,
yes my friend, we seem to be very much alike. That is why I am sure that both of us are determined enough to finally make it!!!

 

[fnatk]

Hey Vincent, long time no see! I have to say, you're spot on about the blockers... they do no good for me either. Because when I really, really want to watch porn I will test them. And test them. And then I get past them. And then its well beyond the point of no return for me.

What we have to control is that decision, do I really want to watch porn and give in to the addiction? Sometimes that answer will be yes no matter how hard you wish it otherwise. But when it happens, its important to do what you did; pick yourself up again! And preferably do something to get your self-respect back, I know that's a big problem for me after I relapse!

 

[Vincent]

Puhhh... it was a long road until now. After some time I really thought I was through with it. But I am not. It pretty much looks like I am even worse, because now I don't care anymore. I just wank. I don't really use any excuses or anything.
I started this thread to save my relationship but what I am down to now is somthing even worse. I still am in a relationship with the same girl. I probably still love her as much as I did, when I started to write the thread - well to be sincere it mostly is kind of the accustomary thing now but whatever. It is ok. And although I still blame her all the time for not having enough sex an thus force myself to porn - at least this is my excuse now - I only do so in my head. I kind of accepted it and I am, as it seems, too lazy to change something here.
To be frank, I am not happy with myself, nor with my situation.
I come home and find no joy in reuniting with what I have here. And I don't see any perspective. One might say this is some kind of depression talking. But my problem is that I am not so sure, where to start curing it.

So I came here. To fight my toughest demon - Porn.
Perhaps it is silly of me, to do so again and again. But fighting it brought many benefits with it. So maybe now after getting "wiser and older" I can get more out of it.
We'll see.

But there always needs to be the first, the second and the third step to start again.
As long as I don't give up hope of going on, maybe I still can get better.
And it sure as hell is nice to share this with someone who is wearing the same pair and does not know me

 

[punctual doer]

Hello Vincent, a really good name btw.

I suggest you a stupid simple stuff called karezza that could drastically improve your relationship: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6jOp7XmjGY
And also do the "Sexual Transmutation" by Napoleon Hill: thinking about your goals and use the sexual energy to reach excellence.



Here's my personnal tips:
1_Buy a big beautiful copybook.
2_Buy pens.
3_Entitle your copybook's cover "TOMORROW".
4_Take 10 minutes to write down your daily tomorrow plan between 5AM and 9PM.
5_I suggest you to include at least 5 hours of workout per week.
6_When your to do list is 70 or 100% complete at the end of the day, write in red the things that didn't work or that need to be improved next time.
7_Do this every single day.
8_Also if you can, cross a calendar to know the progress you've made.
Keeping a streak like this will improve your good-dopamine pathways (and will destroys the junk-dopamine ones).

WARNING: It is very simple to do. But you have to choose constant commitment over constant novelty. You'll may be irritated or frustrated at first, but then it will be good trust me. ACT RIGHT ON TIME is your mission now. It is so simple to do and ironically very tough. So get ready for that daily tomorrow plan man.


AND ALSO, set your goals with a deadline to reach them (5-10-20 years from now for example). Precise your wildest dreams as much as possible, set gradual goals (or "ideal points") in order to feed the gap between your current situation and where you want to be. Step by step.

Get educated with tons of books and videos and audios and pictures on the Internet. Don't forget to GO OUTSIDE and feel that crowd pressure and social anxiety,  it is another good-dopamine pathways remedy. You'll find yourself weird first, but you'll laugh after a while.


How old are you? I will be 21 in 4 months.