Welcome back Kobe. It's good to see you're trying again. It's not the end of the world. But you're here for a reason, and you want to try again. Good for you. You can do it -- sometimes it takes guys a few attempts. But that doesn't mean it'll never happen; it just means you need to try again.
Do you mind if I give you a a little advice? Thanks ;-) This is really important: you need to change the approach you take. The approach you used last time didn't work for you, so you need to find a better system for you. Otherwise, if you do the same thing you tried last time, you'll get the same result, so you need to radically change things.
I mean *RADICALLY* change things.
Read my journal entries -- I talk extensively about trigger management. I know everyone is different, but I really think this comes down a LOT to trigger management. You need to understand and write down your triggers (I'm serious, write them down), and then don't let them happen. Ever. And write every day about them. And when you realized you found a new trigger, you add it to your list.
Here are some examples of triggers and how to manage them:
- If getting on Facebook makes you want to fap, quit Facebook for 90 days. Block it, remove your account, uninstall it from your phone.
- If getting on your computer makes you want to fap, stop using your computer. I'm not kidding. Don't use it for any personal hobbies. If you have to use it for work, do your work in an office or in public for 90 days. Go read a book instead for a while. Except to blog here. But if that's too risky, then don't even write here. Handwrite your journal instead.
- If you keep typing in your K9 password, then make someone else put in a password that they won't give to you. Or lock up your computer for 90 days. Or give it to someone for 90 days. Or leave it in your office. Not kidding.
- If being home alone makes you want to fap, DON'T GO HOME until bedtime.
- If being in your bed at night makes you want to fap, leave your computer at work so you don't have it in your house (or throw away the K9 password.) Or put some hot pepper on your hands before you go to bed.
- If seeing hot girls in the street makes you want to go home and fap, realize (a) you're objectifying women, so you may want to think about it in more depth, as I had to do; and (b) stop staring at girls on the street. Look away from all of them. (I'm serious - that's what I do.)
- If seeing hot girls on TV makes you want to fap or open up some porn, stop watching TV. I'm serious. Hot chicks on TV is a no-no anyway because that constitutes artificial sexual imagery, which you're supposed to avoid.
If you're not able to take the actions necessary to manage these triggers, you may not be ready to do this yet. But barring that, just do what I said above - make those radical changes right now. Just do it.
You can do anything for 90 days
And keep writing, and tell us if you're having troubles!! It feels good to write about it. There will be some times when the urges feel overwhelming... fight, fight, fight. Fight hard. Go take a cold shower, take a walk, leave the house, go to the gym. They go away in 15 mins. Think about what you'll write in your journal that day. You can do it.
Let us know what questions you have and, seriously, you can do it...
