A EasyPeasy method NOT based on WillPower.

[le_petit_moster]

Dear Marcus...
Take a break from the forum, yes, if it is to feel like quitting and being a ex-PMOer is to associate it with a 'battle'.
Come back and help others out for sure if you feel like it.

Also your decision on counters is in line with the Method. I wish you well.

To all other readers...I wish you well also.
I'd like to post here a feedback from another forum hoping it'd help someone.
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/forum/threads/dont-give-up-dont-accept-pornography.36702/page-4

"@le_petit_moster hey brother. Just wanted to show my appreciation for your e-book. In the first 3 pages, I solved a very deep rooted surreptitious belief that I did not know I had. I was actually very afraid of the withdrawal symptoms and would give in just because of the pain withdrawal symptoms had. When the cravings hit, it feels like a "you must do...or else" kind of feeling. By confronting that fear of withdrawals, now cravings seem like childsplay. They have become so enervated that they don't show up much, or as potent as they used to. I am not saying I am out of the woods just yet, but that one point, chapter entitled "fear" has really hit the nail in the head and I can say for certain that the immediate impact it is having on my life and how I cope with this addiction is not a placebo effect. So, truly, Thank You."

 

[le_petit_moster]

Dr. Albert Ellis' autobiography - "All Out!"
"I used to wrongly think that most of them ( addicts) were aided by self-help groups like AA, by therapy, or some other real support. But no. The facts show that more people surrender their addictions on their own-without any notable help from others. How ? Mainly by seeing, acknowledging, and emphasizing how hard it is not to stop and how much easier it is-in the long run- to suffer through the withdrawal process." [ emphasis mine] .

 

[E_Stark]

Hello All, Hello Hack Author...

I finished the book in one breath, and totally agree that the method is unique and useful. My story is a bit different though. I used to PMO for years and stopped it last year. I hadn't heard about neither Allen Carr nor that hack book by that time, but coincidentally I left PMOing more or less in the same manner as the book proposes. Now, I am an ex-PMOer and I don't think I will ever start it again. BUT (a big one), after a while, I noticed that even though I was not PMOing I've started a porn subsitute, the real thing: Hiring escorts. Sometimes, I find myself browsing through escort profiles, and reviews. I don't MO using those images but I'm sure my brain encounters some dopamine rush, which greases the slides once more. I'm not proud of this habit. But since my sex life is getting more and more dull (married for 15 years, and we hardly see each other, let alone making love) I find some real excitation in escorts. I don't do it too much, 2-3 times a year. And as I said I'm not proud of it. I read the book replacing PMOing with escort addiction in my mind. Now, I say to myself I must stop seeing escorts (and of course browsing escort sites). But, I feel like this is WILLPOWER and I don't feel I behave like as the book advises. I cannot stop thinking that I'm sacrificing a joy of my life. After each session, that means after the little monster gets its fix, I regret it. however I feel like I'm not ready to stop yet. And, if I manage to stop, that will be solid willpower. Am I right that seeing escorts regularly is nothing different from PMOing? Can one replace PMOing with it and stop it using the method in the book?
Any ideas and recommendations will be appreciated...

Thanks...

 

[le_petit_moster]

Hello All, Hello Hack Author...

I finished the book in one breath, and totally agree that the method is unique and useful. My story is a bit different though. I used to PMO for years and stopped it last year. I hadn't heard about neither Allen Carr nor that hack book by that time, but coincidentally I left PMOing more or less in the same manner as the book proposes. Now, I am an ex-PMOer and I don't think I will ever start it again. BUT (a big one), after a while, I noticed that even though I was not PMOing I've started a porn subsitute, the real thing: Hiring escorts. Sometimes, I find myself browsing through escort profiles, and reviews. I don't MO using those images but I'm sure my brain encounters some dopamine rush, which greases the slides once more. I'm not proud of this habit. But since my sex life is getting more and more dull (married for 15 years, and we hardly see each other, let alone making love) I find some real excitation in escorts. I don't do it too much, 2-3 times a year. And as I said I'm not proud of it. I read the book replacing PMOing with escort addiction in my mind. Now, I say to myself I must stop seeing escorts (and of course browsing escort sites). But, I feel like this is WILLPOWER and I don't feel I behave like as the book advises. I cannot stop thinking that I'm sacrificing a joy of my life. After each session, that means after the little monster gets its fix, I regret it. however I feel like I'm not ready to stop yet. And, if I manage to stop, that will be solid willpower. Am I right that seeing escorts regularly is nothing different from PMOing? Can one replace PMOing with it and stop it using the method in the book?
Any ideas and recommendations will be appreciated...

Thanks...

Dear E_Stark.
First off - the book can?t take credit as you had stopped before reading it. But your story is a reinforcement to its ideas and thus will give confidence to the readers. So my thanks for sharing.

The hackbook recommends ( but does not mandate) NOT to have O as the goal even in real sex and to have only ?amative? sex as much as possible. Unless one is engaged in the ?propagative? sex avoiding O repairs many a marriages and takes us to the next level physically and mentally.

You are seeing escorts,2-3 times in a year- while you are married. You are denied sex by your wife. Which one is the chicken and which one is the egg in the above situation is debatable. Only a trained therapist -after spending time with you can answer this. But let me answer your question about replacing PMO with escorts. The hackbook's recommendation to prefer amative sex only - will rule out seeing escorts ( variety) unless the escort is engaging in amative sex with you -(not common, but possible). Keep in mind you yourself 'regret' after seeing an escort - which tells me that you do feel guilty due to your married status ? .

Approach your wife with sex but not O as your goal and see if she responds. If she refuses then you tell her that in order to preserve your dignity that you need to think about separation or divorce. If you think she can't take such strong medicine then tell her that you would want to have a 6 months trial separation or something of that sort. If not at least 6 months of self or professional therapy ( which in my opinion is not as good as self-therapy). During this time continue to be an ex-PMOer and do NOT see an escort whatsoever.

If she agrees then you be faithful to your wife and only use amative sex and only with her ( unless she agrees with an open marriage ) as I have said in the hackbook. I believe it has the power to restore love in any marriage.  If she does not agree, then you know what to do. 
I wish you well !!!
PS:  I suggest reaching out to a professional therapist with your wife at least once before starting your own self-therapy.
But if you can't that is ok...many reach success in self-therapy than we really know of.
Cheers !!!

 

[IHaveHadEnough]

Hi le_petit_moster. I look forward to reading this and thank you for posting it because I used the Allen Carr EasyWay book with regards my smoking and I lost the desire to smoke within its pages and haven't smoked for nearly 2 years (next month).

 

[fapfreezone]

Le_Petit_Monster,

I've been reading your hackbook and I notice you need updating regarding the definitions of hyper and hypo frontality. Hyper means over(active) and hypo means under(active), so hypofrontality is underactive frontal regions and therefore less willpower. Hyperfrontality would be overactive frontal regions and lots of willpower but not much emotional influence. I think you need to correct areas of your book.

It's a good book, though (I'm about halfway through). Thanks for writing and sharing it.

 

[le_petit_moster]

Hi Fapfree...Thank you. I've corrected this error now and have added a new chapter at the end for quick read on the instructions. Fonts and background theme are also changed based on your and Hablabos' feedbacks.

 

[IHaveHadEnough]

This is a very good book. I am about halfway through and I simply haven't even wanted to fap. It's as if the desire to do so has been lifted. Thank you for writing this.

 

[enzomartins]

Great book
I found this video (from Allen Carr), which is very informative, and a lot of things are similar do Porn Addiction

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmNf37oJEvc

 

[le_petit_moster]

Dear Enzo thank you very very much for the video link.
Amazing. T
He is my mentor, guru....well he is one of the two authors of my hackbook. I truly believe that. I know I should stop now, else I risk sounding like a screw ball. All credits goes to Allen Carr. All blame to me. !!!
Dear IHaveHadEnough...I wish you well. No will power, no trauma, no guilt no deprivation.

Hi All. I have updated the format and background of the free site based on your feedbacks.
I have also added a couple of chapters on 'scripts'. Please take a look and see if it can benefit you.
If some one can suggest a way to convert the scripts into audio/video that is youtube uploadable that would be great.
Like a Apple Siri/ Machine voice - I'd then like to put them on a youtube channel for readers to access every night before sleep.
cheers and wishing you well.

 

[enzomartins]

It would be awesome if someone made a similar video about porn addiction.

 

[Big H]

Read it. It took such a long time to get to the good parts that I think I might've skipped some chapters. A lot of it was "This works trust me" and giving reasons "why porn is bad" which I already know why. I do like how using a different mindset to free yourself from porn like saying and how to tell your mind it has absolutely no benefits. Maybe that's why I relapsed after two years of being porn free because of my attitude towards it. I think a part of me still missed it.

 

[enzomartins]

Yes, to be honest this method can be summarized in 5 lines at best.
Here is what I understood:

1 - You have to convince yourself that porn has no benefits at all, and all the benefits you see are illusions.
2 - The downsides of porn are worse than any benefit you can think of

What this guy discovered is that all the addicts think that the object of the addiction is actually good and has its upsides. In the video I posted, the guys give reasons to smoke that are all bullshit. Only by destroying those "upsides" you can beat the addiction. Or else your brain will trick you into putting the downsides and upsides in a scale and choosing the fake "upsides" eventually.

 

[Taylor]

Did you actually read the book? It actually has been fairly well established that "the willpower method" doesn't work for any form of addiction. When an addict is still hooked on "willpower", it's part of the addiction/fasting/remission cycle, which ends up strengthening the addiction.

When you make it all about "willpower", you will ultimately fail, because "willpower" does not actually reprogram and rebuild you. It is relying on the exact same systems that perpetuate the addiction. You set up a "fast" from porn, which means you have framed it as "denial". There is something out there that you are "denying" to yourself, and you have to exert "willpower" to do the "denial". This still frames pornography as desirable, even if it is now portrayed as "wrong", "bad", "unhealthy", etc. It now is even more desirable, since it is not only the fix, it is now the forbidden fix. You have to use your willpower to stay away from the forbidden fix. It becomes a purely moralistic battle. Note that I say "moralistic" and not moral--this is an important distinction.

When we fail in this moralistic battle, it reinforces the attitude that we are flawed, broken, damaged goods, bad. This then moves into the self-loathing stage, which sets us up for more "willpower", which sets us up to fall. Eventually, this produces the spiral of re-addiction.

That sounds precisely how I stayed on it for so many years.

 

[IHaveHadEnough]

Dear IHaveHadEnough...I wish you well. No will power, no trauma, no guilt no deprivation.

Hello friend. I just haven't wanted to do it and this is how I was when I used the EasyWay to stop smoking. Somewhere during the pages I just stopped wanting to smoke even though I did what Allen Carr said and actually lit up and smoked as I began reading. I am sitting here now on Day 9 and yes I have had urges yet I have batted them away as if they are nothing and as someone who has never gone more than 3 or 4 days before and HAD to give in, this is something entirely new for me. I am sitting here now and I am actually 'leaking' from the occasional porno image which is coming into my head but I have no desire whatsoever to fap or indulge it in any way. I simply recognise that I feel horny but the feeling will pass. I am still working my way through your hack-book (I wish it was available in PDF format to download and take with me everywhere) and it's as if a giant wall has sprung up between myself and the urge to fap and look at pornography. I really cannot thank you enough for the immense amount of work this must have been to write the entire book out and adapt it to fit in with NoFap. It's early days for me my friend but I have always caved in before at half what I am at now and as I've said I just don't want to do it. I have a feeling you are going to be a lifesaver. Kudos to you.

 

[le_petit_moster]

Dear All !!!
In her book "Rethinking Positive Thinking" author Gabrielle Oettingen " talks about the method called "Mental Contrasting ( MC) " - which with research papers scientifically done is proved better than postive thinking and reality thinking as well.

One of the keys in her 'MC' method is how you wish the future and then -only then - think about the ' challenges'.
?Mental contrasting forged a link between the future and the reality, but it was specifically in this order: first future and then reality.Mental contrasting almost instantaneously brings the reality to mind when the future is called up?a process that is beyond our conscious ability to notice and control.?

In our Method we say ' Isn't great I don't have to PMO no more, I am not a slave and I am FREE !!!"
This is in line with her MC method.
It reminds us of the slavery at the same time of our goal - which is free of PMO.

Wishing you all well.

 

[Death Trap]

I wanted to give this thread a much deserved bump along with my thoughts on it, as I think le_petit_moster has done the rebooting community a huge service in writing this book.

I've been trying to "quit" this horrendous affliction for years now, and have always found myself "relapsing" after varying periods of abstinence (I'm pretty sure I've made it over 140 days before with no P M or O.). After reading this book, I feel totally different with regard to "quitting", and I would urge anybody who has been battling this for any period of time to set aside the time and read through this entire book.

I would summarize the main idea as: just make the decision to stop doing this bullshit and then move on with your life. During those times when you feel like PMO'ing, just give praise to God that you don't do this anymore, and then continue life.

This obviously sounds easier said than done, but I think the author assumes quite correctly that a lot of the problems we are all having here is due to mental programming, in response to fears, insecurities, whatever. Reading the book, an undertaking that takes some time, will help in reprogramming your mind away from the PMO death trap that you've been in hitherto.

He invokes Pascal's Wager argument as an illustration of how we should view quitting. Pascal had argued (unconvincingly), that we ought to believe that God exists, since we have the most to gain from believing that he does. If we believe in God, and live accordingly, we have the possibility of an infinite reward if we are right; if we are wrong in that belief, all we have to lose are finite things. Since infinity is greater than the finite, the rational person will believe that God exists, and live accordingly.

As an argument for belief in God, this is of course horrible. But consider the analogy to quitting PMO: if you quit PMO, you really have nothing to lose and the possibility of much to gain. I will stress the word "possibility" here, since it's still possible that you will have ED (or delayed ejaculation, etc.)if you quit porn (by which I mean that hit is conceivable that you'll still have it; I doubt that you actually will). Even if you don't gain good erections after quitting PMO, you've still lost nothing, except these two-dimensional pixelated "harems", and all the wasted time and energy used in rubbing yourself to them like some horribly pathetic beta male. Obviously, the rational person is just going to stop this behavior, and thank God that he has done so.

I had been one of those people who would obsess about his day count. I'm now done with that, since it is at best pointless if you've made the decision to stop. At worst, I'm starting to think that it sabotages the process, since it gives you this false idea that there is some endpoint to reach, when in reality you are just giving up on a silly behavior. When you make the decision to quit smoking, you don't fixate on some magic number, you just stop doing it. Also, when you focus on your days clean, you tend to give your mind the idea that you are engaged in some sort of battle with yourself. Le_petit_moster is correct that this is simply the "willpower method", and you don't need to rely on willpower if you just want to stop.

So, the goal here is cultivating the mindset that you want to stop. If you want to stop, the urge to PMO will immediately be countered by that desire, and you can just move forward. You couldn't pay me to take one drag of a cigarette after having quit for several years, because I simply don't want one, and would be sick if I had one. It's not a use of my willpower to not have a cigarette; I'm not battling some urge in my brain; I'm in harmony with my will.

I also think that it might be detrimental for some to rely on the PMO fora, since the vibe that people here give tend to give off is one of internal battle and disharmony. Just read the goddam book and move forward.

 

[enzomartins]

This method is simple: first find WHY you PMO, what you like about porn, what are the good things you think porn brings to you. Then you'll notice that all the supposedly upsides of porn are actually illusions, and the downsides are much much worse.

Porn is equal to smoking. It doesn't bring you anything positive, you only think it excites you and raises your libido, when you're actually killing your sex life. It doesn't bring any benefit at all. If you still believe porn can bring benefits you'll never leave this addiction, because you'll rely on your willpower to do so, and eventually you're going to relapse.

This method is great.

 

[Death Trap]

^Agreed.

There's a part of the book where the author asks you to reflect upon what you look like when you are masturbating to porn which I found quite interesting.

The most difficult part of quitting, in my opinion, is not giving into the "just one peak" impulse, which is the first stage in relapse. The author does a good job of explaining that you give yourself that first squirt of dopamine, in the form of a peak, and you're already on your way to dousing yourself in it in a full-blown relapse. He uses the image of a water slide, which is totally correct.

The book is amazing, since these little images you read about as you go through it reprogram you to think the way someone who never got into PMO in the first place would. And he put it out there for free! So all you have to do is get off of your lazy ass and read it.

 

[le_petit_moster]

Thank you and thank you.
In spite of the bad writing, horrible formatting and extreme 'marketing' by me, if it had touched you all that is a great satisfaction for me.
All credit duly goes to Allen Carr and his EasyWay. All blame is entirely mine and mine only.
I am free of cigarettes, alcohol and pmo once I adopted this Method. Guess what I don't fell one cent deprived.  I had put a self limit of quitting to visit non-PMO forums after my site reaches 1000 unique viewers.  ( which it did way back and is on its 2000th. My plan was to move on after 'advertising' it out to the community and go do other things in life. But I still find myself coming back and writing some thing so I can encourage others too. Sometimes I do that in an aggressive way. But I am now being accepted inspite of the irritations I had caused.
I wish you all well.
Cheers.