Journey to a better me

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/10/17

Still had some stuff that pissed me off early in the day, but overall it was a better day. I'm hopeful that some things in my life will start to change soon.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/12/17

I have just felt flat and emotionless for the past couple weeks. Might just be a side effect of not engaging in PMO. Just gotta keep going and take this slowly and one day at a time.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/13/17

Still feel very flat and emotionless. Everything just feels boring, work in particular is kinda stressful. Just takes a lot out of me emotionally, oh well, that's life I guess.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/14/17

Keep getting stressed over things that aren't harmful or worth worrying about, but hey, that's ok. I shouldn't try to not feel stressed or angry or upset, because those are all perfectly normal, healthy human emotions. I guess it's just when they happen more often than not that it's considered detrimental to my quality of life. All in all, it was a decent day.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
Elgu?a said:
Hi Jake, how many days without porn you have now? Anyway, good luck with your challenge. Greetings from LATAM

64 now without PMO or MO. I try not to get caught up in the numbers too much, but reaching milestones is always cool, lol. And thanks, good luck to you too.

5/15/17

I've been really worried lately, it's not fun. I always imagine every little thing that can go wrong, I guess that's just my ocd mind talking. Didn't PMO, so I can call it a good day.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/16/17

I've been really worried today, but I didn't let it control me, so that's a good sign. I've felt like isolating instead of going out and talking to people lately, just don't feel as if I have the energy to socialize all the time, people just wear me out, but I guess that's also because I'm an introvert.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/18/17

God, I'm so fucking done with this bullshit. I'm such a basket case that I can't even make myself competent in any type of social situation. I'm 67 days into no PMO  and I can't even go out and talk to women, even though I've done it before, I don't know what I want for my career, and my gains in the gym have hit a brick wall for the past few months because my technique is ass when the weight gets heavy. I can't seem to find anybody to hang out with either, this is just a fucking dumpster fire disaster.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
johnleesmith65 said:
Do whatever makes you happy and you have interest in, for career.
Don't go for money when choosing career.

Ya, I know what you mean.

5/19/17

A better day today, even though I couldn't really sleep last night, damn, I hate anxiety.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/20/17

Couldn't sleep again last night. I'm coming off of trazodone, since I've been taking it for a while and my body is so used to it, I've had a couple nights of crappy sleep, oh well. Hopefully I can sleep soon.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/22/17

Really good day, hung out with some friends and felt really confident in myself. It seems to be getting better the more I worry about myself and not others.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/23/17

Pretty good day overall. Got a lot of things done that needed to be done, went to the gym, returned a package, turned in some stuff for work, bought a new stereo deck for my car, and bought a plane ticket for a trip I'm taking in July.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/24/17

Pretty ok day except for my weight training session, my gains have hit a brick wall. I'll be making more money and working more to save up and move out of my house, so that's good. Only a matter of time now.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/25/17

Finally got some really good sleep and felt refreshed, however, I'm having problems getting my point across at work due to social anxiety. It's hard to get your point across by not being too passive and not being too much of a jerk at the same time, just gotta keep working on it I guess.
 

Jake323

Well-Known Member
5/26/17

A good day, got some great sleep again, flirted with this girl who was cutting my hair, and felt as if I was doing better at work. Although one thing I constantly question is what I want my life to be about, I think I'm headed in the right direction, but it can be confusing because I may think I know what I want, but it may not be what I expect it to be or my values and preferences may change over time, it's confusing at times, it's hard to know what you want when there's so many choices and directions you can go.......
 
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