You could have done it long ago

[shake19]

Hi! I am passing my 11th day of total reboot and this is the second weekend of my journey [weekend is always the worst time to withstand without watching porn].

Despite the fact that I still have hard cravings and sometimes my brain pushes me to intentionally e.g. watch some news where attractive woman are shown, I haven't watched any nudity.

My battle with addiction has one basic rule: do not watch anything which could arouse you! It includes music videos with [almost naked] chicks, news where are arousing images of woman and all other stuff that is very popular nowadays and is everywhere. I just skip such images / videos and try not to focus on anything arousing.

I am councious about my addiction and I know that even a small peek at half-naked woman will burn up my mind. There is a great illustration of how my brain reaction differ from healthy person (attachment). I think that after some period of total reboot (e.g. 6 months) my brain wouldn't react like it does now.

What changes do I see as for day 11th?
I concentrate easier, I look at people's eyes when I talk to them, I am strong-willed and I feel more brave, e.g. when I was with porn everyday I was very afraid of my future, I thought that I would never become a man and now I feel like I can do something big in my life, my mind is becoming stronger everyday and it's much easier to actually live my life.

I am working at feeling comfortable with myself. In the past, whenever I felt bad I just PMO'd and I felt [seemingly] better. Now it's time to face reality without PMO and whenever I feel bad I have to withstand such time with my head up and being sober - it is how reboot works.

 

[LTE]

You have a very good way of looking at this. Stay away from anything that arouses you. In time, you will find that old triggers dissipate and life gets a lot easier.

 

[shake19]

14th day totally clean done!

While workdays it is easy for me - I am busy from the morning til evening or even til night, so there's no time to fantasise.

After 2 weeks totally clean (no nudity, no M, no O, little fantasies) I feel superb! BTW I do not drink alcohol nor smoke weed for last 14 days (Lent).
Finally I have strength to deal with problems that bothered me in the past. In the past whenever the problems emerged I ran away to P / M / alcohol / weed (generally addictions).
Now I face all the problems completely sober (most important clean from PMO) and I deal with them perfectly! Finally I made some major changes in my life that had been waiting to be done for months.

I am very grateful to all y'all for the great support - not only in my topic, but in all the topics that I've read and that gave me additional strength to fight the addiction.

I wish you all the best and hope that all members of this forum are going to break free from PMO!

 

[LTE]

Good going, mate!

 

[tkn0]

Congratulations on 2 weeks brother, keep going!

 

[shake19]

Day 17th - still totally clean.
It is my 3rd weekend without P/M/O and 17th day of total reboot.

Finally I feel that urges has started to calm down.
My mind is much more clean than a few weeks ago, very rarely I see some arousing images in my mind but they have no such strength than those before.
Everyday I feel better with myself, I am slowly losing my inferiority complexes which is great.

Even though it seems to be easier to fight PMO now than before I still must be careful about my mind - I am aware that cravings may come back in any time and I must be ready to take control over it.

Again, I wouldn't do it without this forum and I am very grateful to people like you to make a huge change in my life.

Usually I am against any Internet social life but this forum is so great that it really made my life much better.
PMO used to be one of my biggest problem and now I am breaking free from this and wish the same to all y'all!

 

[LTE]

Were glad to have you here. Just keep going, the road gets easier ahead.

 

[shake19]

Day 20th - clean.

I had very hard cravings on Sunday (I guess because of my hangover after Saturday) and I even took a peek at some chicks on the Internet but I stopped very suddenly - like in 1 minute I realised that it will push me to want more which will ruin my reboot process. Even after only 1 minute I had urges to watch more and fantasies were coming around my mind. After 2 days it disappeared and again I feel free from any urges. As I didn't watch any P nor M, I didn't reset my counter. Now I am reaching my previous record of 21 days, so I decide to change my goal to infinity. I want to be clean of P / M forever.

How are your things? How are you doing?

 

[LTE]

Day 20th - clean.

I had very hard cravings on Sunday (I guess because of my hangover after Saturday) and I even took a peek at some chicks on the Internet but I stopped very suddenly - like in 1 minute I realised that it will push me to want more which will ruin my reboot process. Even after only 1 minute I had urges to watch more and fantasies were coming around my mind. After 2 days it disappeared and again I feel free from any urges. As I didn't watch any P nor M, I didn't reset my counter. Now I am reaching my previous record of 21 days, so I decide to change my goal to infinity. I want to be clean of P / M forever.

How are your things? How are you doing?

You done good.

 

[shake19]

Day 23rd - already passed my personal best!  ;D

Owing to this forum I was able to withstand clean from P/M/O for longer than I ever did.
Big thanks to Gabe Deem who had the courage to talk openly about the problem and who made such a community.

I feel amazing, my mind is clean, when I talk to people I am fully focused on the conversation. I do not have arousing images in my mind which were leading me previously to distraction and anxiety. I know that it is just the beginning of the route to freedom from P/M/O but I already see big changes and am very proud of them.

LTE, thank you for your invaluable help, even by all those small words - you really make me stronger and more confident in fighting the addiction.

I wish all the best to all y'all!

 

[LTE]

Day 23rd - already passed my personal best!  ;D

Owing to this forum I was able to withstand clean from P/M/O for longer than I ever did.
Big thanks to Gabe Deem who had the courage to talk openly about the problem and who made such a community.

I feel amazing, my mind is clean, when I talk to people I am fully focused on the conversation. I do not have arousing images in my mind which were leading me previously to distraction and anxiety. I know that it is just the beginning of the route to freedom from P/M/O but I already see big changes and am very proud of them.

LTE, thank you for your invaluable help, even by all those small words - you really make me stronger and more confident in fighting the addiction.

I wish all the best to all y'all!

It gets easier the longer you go.

 

[fugu]

Congrats on your long streak! Keep going strong. If emotional ups and downs hit, just remind yourself why you are doing this.

 

[shake19]

Day 27th - clean

fugu, LTE thank you for kind words!

It starts to be very hard for last days. I have stronger urges than any time before. I was sneaking through some gossipy journals to see anything arousing but no porn. I know it is bad and it's breaking me as my brain flies around fantasies and pushes me to do something I don't want to, e.g. watch P or M.

I am very glad to have this journal and such a community. It didn't take long to find some encouraging words:

I will admit that there is occasional temptation , for sure. That is part of this choice we make to walk away from PMO.

Don't give in , read, meditate , socialize, music anything else! If you do , just climb right back up and start again, no beating yourself up.

I have to admit my brain is still addicted and I may need more time, even months to finally reboot and rewire my brain to the positive side.

As for now I have to fight and I cannot let my brain to sneak.

Keep your head up!

 

[LTE]

Avoid anything that seems even slightly titillating.

 

[xc43]

Keep on fighting the good fight shake19! Don't forget that the real deal is around the corner and it will be much more satisfying than any substitute.

X

 

[newguyneedschange]

Good job man, just like you my religious leaders are the only ones i've ever talked to about my problem and i've had several girlfriends that my PMOing was a secret to. I want out because this isn't something I want to take away my free will. Porn holds us down and tells us what we can and can't do. As a fellow Christian I know that Christ wants us to have free agency and I didn't realized for years that porn took that away from me.

 

[Keyblade Keeper]

Hey gratz man, sounds like the reboot is going well. Sometimes I wish I was more religious because then I could talk to a priest about this but I haven't been to church since I was 9. Oh well.

 

[kaybee]

Hey gratz man, sounds like the reboot is going well. Sometimes I wish I was more religious because then I could talk to a priest about this but I haven't been to church since I was 9. Oh well.

Hey, it's never too late to go back!   And if you do want to talk from a religious perspective, there seems to be a fair number of Christians hanging around here.

I even took a peek at some chicks on the Internet but I stopped very suddenly - like in 1 minute I realised that it will push me to want more which will ruin my reboot process. Even after only 1 minute I had urges to watch more and fantasies were coming around my mind.

Wow, good job man! That's like an alcoholic opening up a bottle and putting it back down again. I definitely wouldn't have that kind of will power. 

 

[shake19]

@LTE, after your simple words I was more confident to not look at anything even slightly arousing. I'll try to not experiment with my mind anymore, I must stay sure that any titillating images may ruin my state of mind. And for last days I really didn't look at any chicks intentionally. Thank you for your continous support, it means a lot to me.

@xc43, thank you for encouraging words, everyday out of PMO gives us something good that was hidden around the corner while we was in addiction. Now it's your move - beat my record.

@newguyneedschange,

Porn holds us down and tells us what we can and can't do.

The same words I heard in the confession and now I really see the meaning of them. Being free of PMO for almost a month shows me that porn was taking control over me and now I am the controller of my life. I wish you all the best and stay strong in the journey! Don't let me down.

@Keyblade Keeper, As kaybee said - it is never too late. I was out of Church for years and I came there like a few years ago. Firstly it was quite embarrassing because still I was very sceptical, but after some time I found a lot of wisdom and strength in the Church. Thank you for kind words, I feel like I am getting to the nice period of my life, the urges started to calm down.

@kaybee, thank you for your appreciation. You are definitely able to do the same as me. Don't be a victim of your own desires, take control over it and break free from the addiction, you'll see how beautiful can life be and how your confidence will boost up. Good luck!

Day 30th - totally clean!

Again, the massive thank you too all of you. I am pretty sure that I wouldn't do it without you as I tried many times before.
Fortunately my urges to watch something arousing decreased after a few days of fighting. I feel like I am entering the period of recovery and I know that it is important to not fall back because all the recovery will be pointless.

Changes that I see:
I am much more confident, my mind is more clear, I am happier.
Definitely it is easier now to focus on study or job while my mind is out of P.

The funny story was this night when I had a wet dream (sorry if it makes you disgusted but it happens when a man is out of PMO) and while still I was in a dream I felt the O and I thought to myself "Damn, I relapsed after so many days. I have to go to Rebootnation to say that I lost the April challenge and to say that I let down all of the people that supported me". But then I woke up and I realised it was just a [wet] dream and I am still out of PMO. It shows how strong is my mind related to this forum and that this forum is the first thing that I think of, even in a dream while getting into "relapse". As I do not consider wet dreams as a relapse I am still on a track, much stronger than at the beginning!

I wish you all the best! Stay strong.

 

[somethingelse]

Hey Shake,

Congratulations on arriving at a month, that's a great achievement, keep up the brilliant work so far. One day at a time as I always hear. Now onto the next weeks.

Have a Blessed Day Shake