Pete McVries
Active Member
Mediadude20 said:
Man, I know these urges too well. Good on you for not acting out on it. Once the seed is planted, it's always dangerous. I admire what you're doing, keep going!
Back in the fight
- Thread starter Mediadude20
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Man, I know these urges too well. Good on you for not acting out on it. Once the seed is planted, it's always dangerous. I admire what you're doing, keep going!
H
HumbleRich
Guest
Hey dude,
For me that is a sign that you really need to up.your reboot game. You are on a date with this presumably gorgeous woman and you are thinking about.........porn? I am not being judgmental here, just trying to get you to see. You should haven been thinking about yoir date. How you feel.about her. Is there a connection? Wjat is the sexual chemistry like? What would it be like to.touch and have sex with her? But your mind jumped to porn. Do you see how odd that is?
I am not, by any means, saying that you should.ever rush a woman into.sex, but you should be explorimg the possibilities with this person in your own mind.
Again, none of this js judgmental. I have definitely been there. Keep up the good work.
Rich
For me that is a sign that you really need to up.your reboot game. You are on a date with this presumably gorgeous woman and you are thinking about.........porn? I am not being judgmental here, just trying to get you to see. You should haven been thinking about yoir date. How you feel.about her. Is there a connection? Wjat is the sexual chemistry like? What would it be like to.touch and have sex with her? But your mind jumped to porn. Do you see how odd that is?
I am not, by any means, saying that you should.ever rush a woman into.sex, but you should be explorimg the possibilities with this person in your own mind.
Again, none of this js judgmental. I have definitely been there. Keep up the good work.
Rich
Mediadude20
Member
HumbleRich said:
Thanks @HumbleRich. Yeah I can see what you're getting at. There's a little more to why I got the urge, that I didn't share yesterday.
Basically, another girl had walked passed us and was wearing gym gear. That's what triggered me. In fairness, the other girl looked impressively fit that even my date was looking at her. I didn't really want to share this part yesterday because I just didn't want to come across like a complete dick! "Why are you looking at another girl while you're out on a date with an already nice girl?" Yeah, I know. But I wasn't starring or lusting at her, I just caught a glimpse of her & it sent my brain into temporary meltdown. I guess it's because I'm in the early stages of this reboot and haven't yet hit that plateau of calm that comes later.
I just wanted to be honest & upfront anyway.
So, today I woke up feeling like absolute shit. Tired, groggy, anxious, depressed, worried, headache. I'm only halfway through the day and I feel awful. I took a cold shower this morning to try boost my mood a little but I'm just not myself today. I need to meditate now. Thanks for listening.
Mediadude20
Member
Well I relapsed last night. So Day "0" again.
I've been feeling really rough the last few days which hasn't helped. I'm definitely coming down with flu or some sort of infection.
I also have alot of family "stuff" happening this week, I won't go into too much detail but my role in the family is a source of stress for me. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I am loved but I am a classic "fixer" and I always get freaked out if there's an argument between any member of the family.
I'm seeing my therapist on Monday and that can't come soon enough. I've alot of issues to work through.
I just hope I feel better soon physically because I'm just so drained.
I've been feeling really rough the last few days which hasn't helped. I'm definitely coming down with flu or some sort of infection.
I also have alot of family "stuff" happening this week, I won't go into too much detail but my role in the family is a source of stress for me. Don't get me wrong, I love them and I am loved but I am a classic "fixer" and I always get freaked out if there's an argument between any member of the family.
I'm seeing my therapist on Monday and that can't come soon enough. I've alot of issues to work through.
I just hope I feel better soon physically because I'm just so drained.
Mediadude20
Member
Back for the first time since January. I'm Day 18 into this new Reboot. It's going well so far so good. Alot of urges today, but I'm pushing through.
I've been reading posts on Nofap everyday and I'm also working through the Your Brain On Porn book. It helps alot.
One day at a time. Feels good to be back here! Hope you're all well!
I've been reading posts on Nofap everyday and I'm also working through the Your Brain On Porn book. It helps alot.
One day at a time. Feels good to be back here! Hope you're all well!
Mediadude20
Member
Day 43
It's been a while since I've been on, but today is especially important for me because today I beat my PMO-free record.
Feeling good today. ;D
It's been a while since I've been on, but today is especially important for me because today I beat my PMO-free record.
Feeling good today. ;D
Mediadude20
Member
Day 44
Thanks guys. I really appreciate your words.
I am feeling particularly triggered today. Even though I worked out in the gym, I just feel a bit low and have some stressful underlying mood swings.
I also feel a bit tired of fighting but this is exactly how I felt last time I got this far. I just need to remember that emotions come & go, so I need to push through.
Going to a social event this evening which will hopefully take my mind off myself for a few hours.
Thanks for your support
Thanks guys. I really appreciate your words.
I am feeling particularly triggered today. Even though I worked out in the gym, I just feel a bit low and have some stressful underlying mood swings.
I also feel a bit tired of fighting but this is exactly how I felt last time I got this far. I just need to remember that emotions come & go, so I need to push through.
Going to a social event this evening which will hopefully take my mind off myself for a few hours.
Thanks for your support
Wolfman
Active Member
Hang in there man. Just as there is the darkness of the porn tempting and goading you to come back to it, there is also the light of your future freed self that can be an important guide to you. You're not alone (for one thing, all of us on this forum are in this together), because your future self is working really hard to reach out to you and help you bridge every gap, every difficulty, every threshold, every uncertainty, every weakness. This future self is stronger, because it's got the mental muscles that you built for him - that you're building every day. Even on the days when it feels like it isn't a struggle, when it feels like a breeze so unreal. And then the days when you're fighting and you feel like you've got nothing but more fighting ahead of you - he is with you, because he's been there with you because you were the one who carried him across.
Let yourself feel the moods, they're part of real life, and actually, they may be a sign you're getting better. But then make them fires for action, for doing things, new activities.
I hope the social event helped. Connecting with people is about the realest thing out there (which basically every ad and commercial hopes to approximate via their product).
EDIT: Re "future freed self" - I don't mean that in a sort of pre-destination way, as if there is a fate or a providence out there (I mean, people are free to believe that if they want, I just want to clarify what I meant here). I mean in the sense that if we're quitting something serious and deep-seated as porn, and we're quitting this willingly, it means we have some faint idea of what life is without it. Well, from there on, that life is presumably better, and better on a vastly different and qualitatively better level, so there's got to be something almost "divine" about this future self--I mean, it "seems divine" because we're still in the transition of trying to quit the addiction and that takes everything we got. But still, I think a higher standard has been born by the very choice of wanting to deal with one's problem and we can make that criterion explicit to ourselves as we struggle onwards. Whatever that future self is, it's not something set in stone, but one thing is definitely etched out of it for good, and that is PMO.
Let yourself feel the moods, they're part of real life, and actually, they may be a sign you're getting better. But then make them fires for action, for doing things, new activities.
I hope the social event helped. Connecting with people is about the realest thing out there (which basically every ad and commercial hopes to approximate via their product).
EDIT: Re "future freed self" - I don't mean that in a sort of pre-destination way, as if there is a fate or a providence out there (I mean, people are free to believe that if they want, I just want to clarify what I meant here). I mean in the sense that if we're quitting something serious and deep-seated as porn, and we're quitting this willingly, it means we have some faint idea of what life is without it. Well, from there on, that life is presumably better, and better on a vastly different and qualitatively better level, so there's got to be something almost "divine" about this future self--I mean, it "seems divine" because we're still in the transition of trying to quit the addiction and that takes everything we got. But still, I think a higher standard has been born by the very choice of wanting to deal with one's problem and we can make that criterion explicit to ourselves as we struggle onwards. Whatever that future self is, it's not something set in stone, but one thing is definitely etched out of it for good, and that is PMO.