Stiffy is ready to EVOLVE.

S

Stiffy

Active Member
Day 5.

Did have sex last night/this morning with O. Will be hopping back on the wagon to no O at all as the goal. Not a big deal though at all.

No desire to view porn whatsoever. I again feel good about my progress, though right now things seem pretty great. I know the challenge will be when I?m looking for an escape from things not being so great. Regardless, let?s keep doin? this thing.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
I should be asleep. Spoke too soon. Craving now. Dumb thoughts popping up like, ?I?m missing out on new content.? Funny I?m trying to tell myself I?m missing out. The only thing I?m missing out on is poison for my brain and my emotional well being. Definitely going to pray and then go to sleep. Not gonna fall for my brains tricks.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Day 6

Made it through the night just fine. Did experience arousal after waking up. Wasn?t as careful as I should have been when dealing with that but in the end I did not edge or PMO. So, here?s to the rest of the day.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Starting over today. Had heavy resistance but still failed. Typed in URL into the address bar, erased it, and then 10 minutes later failed.

Need to have a better plan of action for when I begin to resist the urge. What will I do when I start to realize I am fighting?
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
24 hours without PMO. I think a big issue with my recent relapse has been self-inflicted insomnia. My sleep schedule is irregular. I don?t have a typical job and work from home on a business I?m an owner in on my own time. This has led to 4AM attempts at sleeping and I recently reunited with old friends from high school where I grew up to play PC games. They have been going through the night and I foolishly have done the same. It?s been fun, but it?s messing with me. Gotta stop staying up s late staring at a screen because it?s giving me serious trouble with my sleep.


Haven?t slept a wink last night/this morning and decided to just reset my biological clock and skip it all together. I?ll be working through the day as normal and then hit the sack at a decent time. I?m hoping this will help me set a more decent regular sleep schedule.

PMO I?ve always told myself sent me right to sleep... this could be a major trigger.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
I am so fed up with myself.

I haven?t put together a good streak for awhile and I?m just not taking care of myself in general. I think one must not only abstain from PMO but also try to live the best life they can in all areas for better success.

Today I start again. I?m going to write a schedule out for myself tomorrow including excercise and good meals and go to bed at a decent time at a decent time tonight.

This has to stop. I?m just trying to escape, I need to make my reality something worth staying in.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
6 days.

Feeling generally very positive about my decision to cut ties with my previous romantic interest.

Empowered.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
7 days.

Went on a date with a new girl for the first time in a long time. I?m very interested and it was awesome. I feel hope after such a long time of feeling trapped and like I was destined to love someone who couldn?t fully reciprocate my feelings.

Whether or not this goes anywhere it was still a huge step for me and most definitely out of my comfort zone.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
I am glad you made 9 days.
Keep going forward buddy.
Every day without porn is progress.
Even if you relapse, get back on horse.
Keep fighting.
This war is on.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Thank you. It always is nice to hear from fellow soldiers in the struggle. This is all about love for me. It gives us meaning in this crazy life. Nothing can be more beautiful than the struggle of life and the pursuit of happiness. Overcoming these obstacles and maintaining a positive outlook is beautiful even as we trudge through the muddy waters reaching for greatness.

Much love!

10 days.

Edit: I am just so filled with gratitude for a place like this and all of the people here. I can?t by any means say that I?m as far through this journey as I?d like to be but... regardless of a lack of perfection - my life has changed. When I mess up it?s no longer just completing my daily habit, it?s just a mess up. This habit is a leech of my happiness and I?m sure of yours as well. It just takes changing the way you look at it. Don?t accept it as routine. But accept that you are human and no human here is perfect.  In my view this gives us the strength to keep pushing and striving for a better life. What do they call that? A paradigm shift? I feel it.

If you read this just know that you?re not alone and the beauty in this world is greater than all of the darkness. Let?s rise above the darkness.
 
Fappy

Fappy

Respected Member
Well done mate!
Just keep going and be aware of those triggers. Give it another ten days and youll be feeling great! Youll notice the fog lifting nad suddenly color comes back into your world. Keep it up!
[deleted bad joke]
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Thanks mate.

11 days. Was seduced into sex last night. I came twice. Noticing more erections today. Going to limit further sex as much as possible and not even considering PMO.
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Relapse.

Funny how negative I find myself getting in the time after relapsing.

I crave the positivity I had before.

~24 hours now.
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
Yes I can imagine the feeling of despair and pain.
You will get better in couple of days.
Go for more bigger stretch this time.
Length of reboot matters.
Keep weakening your neural pathways
 
J

johnleesmith65

Active Member
It?s ok
Don?t lose hope.
You will be ok after few hours.
I have seen it takes 2-3 days to fully recover from loss.
It is part of game, we all feel this.
Stay strong.
Just let this suffering pass away
Don?t bother yourself too much
 
S

Stiffy

Active Member
Made my eyes water brother. I?m an emotional wreck when I am in this headspace. Thank you for your encouragement.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top