Stiffy is ready to EVOLVE.

[Fappy]

Thats right, Stiffy.  A gratitude journal is a great way to recognize all the great things in your life, even amidst the throws of withdrawal. I also like to keep a - what I like to call- `Never Again...` journal. In there I write down all the things that will never again happen to me because I have quit PMO. Its a list of all the horrid things porn addiction had made me do, the many ways in which it fucked my brain up, and all of the things it has taken from me. This type of journal I find is also helpful as a companion to the gratitude journal.

 

[Stiffy]

Well I just relapsed again. Made it 14 days.

I?m going to take my own advice and not beat myself up this time. I?m not sure what triggered me. I am going to remain positive & take massive action.

I will not go into fuck-it mode and beat my meat whenever I want for the next couple days or week like I usually do when I slip up. I?ll increase my efforts and again remain positive.

I?ll look into a parental control type of solution for my phone. I will go back to grayscale. I?ll continue praying and meditation. I?ll be reading positive and empowering literature. I?ll also start keeping a personal journal where I?ll include a gratitude list.

This is my plan. I will not give up or give in.

 

[Fappy]

14 days is still a very good acheivement! DOnt be too hard on yourself about it. Identify the trigger and learn from it

 

[Stiffy]

I will be camping in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone service until Sunday night. Don?t want ya?ll thinking I?ve locked myself up to PMO the next three days

 

[achilles heel]

I will be camping in the middle of nowhere with no cell phone service until Sunday night. Don?t want ya?ll thinking I?ve locked myself up to PMO the next three days

Good for you, avoiding the chaser effect and getting back on track - don't let that little relapse turn into endless binge sessions, just get up and keep walking! 

 

[Stiffy]

3 days. Was super nice to be off the grid for awhile.

 

[Stiffy]

Setting a goal today for 90 days. I haven?t made it that far in the past. If I remember right, I?ve gotten to the mid 60?s in the past. 3 months is generally a good milestone for breaking and bad habit/addiction. I think if I can make it that far I will experience a lot of healing.

So day 4/90. Got a ways to go but I know I can do it one day at a time.

 

[achilles heel]

Every day without porn is a day won, so you are right by one day at a time. And as you didn't relapse again since your latest relapse, you are not starting at ground 0!

 

[Stiffy]

Day 5/90.

I did O with a female last night. I always find that I tend to have more erections/urges the day after. Will be diligent today in staying mindful and taking steps to avoid PMO.

 

[Fappy]

Day 5/90.

I did O with a female last night. I always find that I tend to have more erections/urges the day after. Will be diligent today in staying mindful and taking steps to avoid PMO.

yep, thats called `the chaser effect`. It can last up to a few days after, but its most dangerous the very next day

 

[Stiffy]

Relapse.

Day 1/90

 

[Fappy]

Thats too bad.
Just learn from it. Was it the chaser effect that got you?

 

[Stiffy]

I relapsed soon after reading about the chaser effect and thinking about it. My mind works in strange ways. I?ll be alright.

 

[Fappy]

I relapsed soon after reading about the chaser effect and thinking about it. My mind works in strange ways. I?ll be alright.

Yes its scary how the brain in this state of addiction can twist something into an urge. Seriously, it can come from anywhere

 

[Do or die]

Keep in mind that as I am not wrong you think to do it one time again when you are close to relapse but if at that time you get out of home or listen any song then you can stop the thinking of fighting

 

[Stiffy]

I think if I understand what you are saying correctly, create some sort of action to turn to when I find myself in a situation where I am thinking twice of relapsing. Not just stew on it. Like get up and take a walk. Nice idea. I think getting out of my room would be a good solution.

I?m back guys. I?ve had significant changes happen in my life recently. I am alone. Forced to face my own shit and not escape back to my lover. The break up had nothing to do with PMO. But I need to face my demons and not lose myself in someone else.

I read a book titled, ?The Mastery of Love? yesterday. Short and simple read about toltec wisdom and a philosophy on how to live ife. It was amazing. I feel joy and comfort today after feeling depressed and fearful for so long. I have many more mental issues that I struggle with aside from PMO addiction. PMO definitely exacerbates all of my other issues though, and it is just as important to overcome in my journey of mental health.

I?ve got about 48 hours now.

Thank you for always being supportive.