Gaining control of Compulsive Masturbation
- Thread starter BabySteps
- Start date
BabySteps
Active Member
Day 38
Day 0
I got complacent 11 hours back. It started with me chatting with someone I was matched with on Tinder.
We where chatting for an hour or so, then she suddenly unmatched me! I felt so reject. Afterwards I watched some romantic movie on TV, afterwards went back to social media.
Plus some X of mine accused me of ignoring her sometime last week, but in my defense I never saw her. The idea of me banging her again just turns me off. I'm out of options with potential hookups.
I guess all this variables got me to a point of no return.
So I decided to keep going with my 90 days target of accounting every single day. Whether I got clean or not. It's a report.
Day 0
I got complacent 11 hours back. It started with me chatting with someone I was matched with on Tinder.
We where chatting for an hour or so, then she suddenly unmatched me! I felt so reject. Afterwards I watched some romantic movie on TV, afterwards went back to social media.
Plus some X of mine accused me of ignoring her sometime last week, but in my defense I never saw her. The idea of me banging her again just turns me off. I'm out of options with potential hookups.
I guess all this variables got me to a point of no return.
So I decided to keep going with my 90 days target of accounting every single day. Whether I got clean or not. It's a report.
I
Icandoit
Guest
It's a slippery slope. You do one thing which leads to the next and so on. That's what happens to me. I've been repeating some mistakes which is not good. The thing is, if you "taste the drug" you sabotage yourself. The best way is to stay away.
imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Think of the rewiring you're doing with every clean day. The more you rewire the weaker the symptoms. So, you've made that great BabySteps. Go on, until you're in the mood to face more of the addiction. That could be in a month or in a year, but to stay away as best as you can from PMO is target #1.
BabySteps
Active Member
Day 39
Day 1
No pmo, no masturbation, the chasers effect was strong the previous night! But I managed to fall asleep, when I woke up in the morning it was way easier to resist.
I plan to continue posting every day no matter the outcome come, I'm committed to tracking my progress.
I also plan to include my daily productivity plans and their progress. Moving forward!
Day 1
No pmo, no masturbation, the chasers effect was strong the previous night! But I managed to fall asleep, when I woke up in the morning it was way easier to resist.
I plan to continue posting every day no matter the outcome come, I'm committed to tracking my progress.
I also plan to include my daily productivity plans and their progress. Moving forward!
imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Every time.
For the progress it helps to think of a strategy which directly helps you with a symptom or symptoms. Like avoiding electronic device use in bed or sth else. Maybe you have that already? I did that during different periods in rewiring.
For the progress it helps to think of a strategy which directly helps you with a symptom or symptoms. Like avoiding electronic device use in bed or sth else. Maybe you have that already? I did that during different periods in rewiring.
BabySteps
Active Member
Hey imSorryNotSorry
The device in my bed is not that much of a problem for me. Because my brain associates this phone of mine with books now. I spend most of my extra time reading ebooks on it. Plus I post and read people's journal on this site using my phone.
I think what might be triggering me is guilt. Guilt that I just read and never practice the material. Basically not being productive.
Thanks for the comment buddy!!
The device in my bed is not that much of a problem for me. Because my brain associates this phone of mine with books now. I spend most of my extra time reading ebooks on it. Plus I post and read people's journal on this site using my phone.
I think what might be triggering me is guilt. Guilt that I just read and never practice the material. Basically not being productive.
Thanks for the comment buddy!!
imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Maybe it is guilt and not being productive. The latter it is for me often, because i want to do so much, but i can't encourage myself to really change something. Because for that one needs the courage to do so. Instead of really doing something and reaching success, we skip that part and pick us endless images of P. Does that resonate with you in way?
BabySteps
Active Member
Hey imSorryNotSorry
Yeah it does resonate with me. If not pornography it's me pursuing the ladies. If the ladies reject me, I feel pathetic. This neediness has to be taken care of. Will keep fighting back for a more managed life instead of being dictated by the addict in me!
Thanks for the support!
Yeah it does resonate with me. If not pornography it's me pursuing the ladies. If the ladies reject me, I feel pathetic. This neediness has to be taken care of. Will keep fighting back for a more managed life instead of being dictated by the addict in me!
Thanks for the support!
imsorrynotsorry
Active Member
Well analyzed. Sleep is such a powerful factor.
The neediness you mentioned, do you know where it comes from? The source?
It would fit the idea that this need, where ever it comes from, can't ever be filled. And therefore one is looking for a replacement, 'to fill the emptyness'. If that would be the case there's work to do and a very good chance to overcome the problem.
Counting days is one thing, strict and rational. Also or even more important is looking into yourself. The underlying moods and emotions that aren't easy to find out about.
The neediness you mentioned, do you know where it comes from? The source?
It would fit the idea that this need, where ever it comes from, can't ever be filled. And therefore one is looking for a replacement, 'to fill the emptyness'. If that would be the case there's work to do and a very good chance to overcome the problem.
Counting days is one thing, strict and rational. Also or even more important is looking into yourself. The underlying moods and emotions that aren't easy to find out about.
BabySteps
Active Member
Hey imSorryNotSorry
I think the idea of being like by people in general. I haven't been able to be sociable with the popular people from primary school. They always rejected me, so i think I'm still afraid of being rejected like a 6 year old! But will keep going, this issues are just too many. Just have to do them one at a time.
Thanks for the support buddy!
I think the idea of being like by people in general. I haven't been able to be sociable with the popular people from primary school. They always rejected me, so i think I'm still afraid of being rejected like a 6 year old! But will keep going, this issues are just too many. Just have to do them one at a time.
Thanks for the support buddy!
ShadeTrenicin
Well-Known Member
Hey babysteps,
Just keep going. And exactly as you said it yourself:
That's the only way to deal with things i guess. One thing / (Baby)Step at a time.
Keep on going, i am rooting for you
Just keep going. And exactly as you said it yourself:
BabySteps said:
That's the only way to deal with things i guess. One thing / (Baby)Step at a time.
Keep on going, i am rooting for you
BabySteps
Active Member
Hey Orbiter
I try as much as possible to get my life in order.
Hey ShadeTrenicin
Trying to gain control in multiple habits at the same time has proven to be unsuccessful for me until now. So now I want to manage my masturbation and my studies. Exercise more often!!
Thanks for the comment guys, very much appreciated?
Let's keep fighting back!!!
I try as much as possible to get my life in order.
Hey ShadeTrenicin
Trying to gain control in multiple habits at the same time has proven to be unsuccessful for me until now. So now I want to manage my masturbation and my studies. Exercise more often!!
Thanks for the comment guys, very much appreciated?
Let's keep fighting back!!!