imaquitter
Active Member
Don't give up buddy, you can make it!
Failing to stop for years, thread to keep me accountable
- Thread starter ruuddejong
- Start date
ruuddejong
Active Member
imaquitter said:
Thanks mate. I won't!
Day 80. Had one of the strongest woods ever this morning again, after a week or so break.
imaquitter
Active Member
How's life?
ruuddejong
Active Member
Life is good! Day 92 without PM! I realized I kept writing no PMO but I did O a few times during sex so this may be why my progress is slow but I have not used any P or M'ed with or without P.
I am yet to see any benefits on the desire part though, I will continue on my path but my problem could very well be something else (as discussed with malando above) OR it is simply still a flatline.
I am yet to see any benefits on the desire part though, I will continue on my path but my problem could very well be something else (as discussed with malando above) OR it is simply still a flatline.
ruuddejong
Active Member
malando said:
Thanks! I am not really focusing on a specific number, I do not believe there is a magic to 90. I hate to quit it forever, that is the only way. That said, I will still count the days and report progress here
Day 94.
ruuddejong
Active Member
Day 96.
Today I found myself trying to find (online presence of) a really hot girl that I was supposed to meet a long time ago but I never did. When I eventually did find her, I did nothing about it. I didn't want to contact her or anything, but I did spend like 20 min trying to find her.
Lesson: Important to not get complacent regardless of day count.
Today I found myself trying to find (online presence of) a really hot girl that I was supposed to meet a long time ago but I never did. When I eventually did find her, I did nothing about it. I didn't want to contact her or anything, but I did spend like 20 min trying to find her.
Lesson: Important to not get complacent regardless of day count.
ruuddejong
Active Member
Day 99.
Morning erections are becoming more frequent, which must be a good sign. Also it is A WHOLE LOT easier to say no to urges compared to early days.
Morning erections are becoming more frequent, which must be a good sign. Also it is A WHOLE LOT easier to say no to urges compared to early days.
ruuddejong
Active Member
Day 102.
Someone sent me a Twitter account full of material that I would spend hours and hours on back in days, I looked at it for about 30 seconds and closed it. I didn't get brain fog or that crazy rush.
Someone sent me a Twitter account full of material that I would spend hours and hours on back in days, I looked at it for about 30 seconds and closed it. I didn't get brain fog or that crazy rush.
Pete McVries
Active Member
It's liberating isn't it? I've came across some suggestive material myself a few days ago and I felt nothing. That was an amazing (non-)feeling. And I'm only 39 days PMO free.
imaquitter
Active Member
ruuddejong said:
Great! I'm so happy to follow your progress
ruuddejong
Active Member
imaquitter said:ruuddejong said:
Great! I'm so happy to follow your progress
Thanks man, now it is your turn to do the same
ruuddejong
Active Member
Pete McVries said:
It definitely is. The temptation is always there but it is so much easier to resist it.
Morning erections are also becoming more often, definitely things are getting better.
imaquitter
Active Member
ruuddejong said:imaquitter said:ruuddejong said:
Great! I'm so happy to follow your progress
Thanks man, now it is your turn to do the same
I will. I just slipped out of hardmode. Not into porn. I feel that I'm finished with that life.
ruuddejong
Active Member
Day 106 since PM. Day 41 since O.
imaquitter
Active Member
Hi, are you still hanging in there mate?
ruuddejong
Active Member
Hey, been a while! I relapsed 2 nights ago after about 5 months, but I am not having any crazy cravings, withdrawals or any other chaser effects! So I am pretty sure this is going to be a one time event.
That said, I have yet to see any benefits of quitting porn.
That said, I have yet to see any benefits of quitting porn.
ruuddejong
Active Member
I thought I should elaborate a little on "no benefits" claim, so that people who are trying to quit PMO do not give up. I strongly believe that if you do not have other major addictions or psychological problems, quitting porn will almost definitely heal you or at least change things in the right direction.
However, that wasn't the case for me, I also have sex or approval addiction, which I am trying to figure. On the 5 months I haven't done any P or M. I did sleep around and very similar to porn, I started to want a hotter girl each time. And every time I had sex with a girl, regardless of how sex went or how hot she is, I did NOT want to do anything with that girl again. Which also made me think it is not about sex, it is about being able to score. It is like, if I knew the girl was ready to sleep with me and got naked, I could almost not have sex and send her back. This brings me to approval addiction and incredibly low-self-esteem. In a way, I was and am proving to myself that I could sleep with a good looking girl, and a good looking girl wanted to sleep with me, which must mean that I am good enough (self-esteem boost).
So I think my problems are much more complicated to solve by simply quitting porn.
However, if I did quit porn and sex at the same time, I do think I would see benefits. In a way, I replaced porn with sex with random people, which of course didn't work.
I started again seeing a psychologist, so I am hoping it will help me.
However, that wasn't the case for me, I also have sex or approval addiction, which I am trying to figure. On the 5 months I haven't done any P or M. I did sleep around and very similar to porn, I started to want a hotter girl each time. And every time I had sex with a girl, regardless of how sex went or how hot she is, I did NOT want to do anything with that girl again. Which also made me think it is not about sex, it is about being able to score. It is like, if I knew the girl was ready to sleep with me and got naked, I could almost not have sex and send her back. This brings me to approval addiction and incredibly low-self-esteem. In a way, I was and am proving to myself that I could sleep with a good looking girl, and a good looking girl wanted to sleep with me, which must mean that I am good enough (self-esteem boost).
So I think my problems are much more complicated to solve by simply quitting porn.
However, if I did quit porn and sex at the same time, I do think I would see benefits. In a way, I replaced porn with sex with random people, which of course didn't work.
I started again seeing a psychologist, so I am hoping it will help me.
Ruude, I'm not sure quitting sex is the way to go, though maybe abstaining for a period is, I don't know what you want from life. Do you want a family? You will have to work on love and intimacy if you do. Abstaining provides space to grow and explore what has been lacking up until now, you can also be proactive about seeking out help on the areas which you want to develop. Thank you.
ruuddejong
Active Member
Georgos said:
Thanks Georgos, I am not sure if you had a chance to read it all, but I am married with a kid, so what I meant was to stop sleeping with other women, not quitting sex with my wife.
I started to work with a professional to get there. I will keep this posted as things develop, just because maybe some day someone will be in a similar situation to mine and will find it helpful.