That?s a long strike. That would make a big impression on you for sure. We had some strikes and layoffs when I was growing up but not that long. Sounds like a rough day at the mall.
I consider my self an introvert but am not so sure anymore. I like to be in a social setting with the right group of people, even if I don?t converse much it?s nice to be with people. If it?s the wrong crowd I lose interest and it?s draining. I?d say I?m better in smaller groups or one on one. Part of my frustration with my family is that they are all in the church and it?s a huge part of life for them. I don?t have that in common any more (mixed feelings about church- still a believer, not attending). One side of my family lives mostly local and go to the same church, so by not attending I feel cut off from them. And I don?t really make time to contact them otherwise (my fault), even my siblings (not local but not much contact). No phone calls or anything. Very rare. I work 2 weekends out of 4 and my wife?s schedule is unpredictable so we just can?t commit to much of anything. Plus if we were to go to try to consistently attend a church I?d pick one with a good kids program and more modern, good takeaway points that you can easily apply to daily life. Plus it?s a lot of work. When my kids were younger we gave up going. They wouldn?t stay in a kids program (to scared or whatever) so we end up sitting out with them and it?s like, what?s the point? Why bust our butts to get here on time to sit quietly and play with my own kids? I can do that at home.
The one my family goes to is small (not many kids) and more traditional. Its strange the few times I do go, it?s nice because the place is familiar and familiar faces but I have no drive to attend regularly again. My parents take my kids to church most weeks. So I guess I feel judged by my own family. They probably aren?t judging. They don?t say much about it. Most of it is in my head, feeling like I missed the mark I was raised on. My wife?s family is totally opposite. Not atheist but don?t care about church or anything. So we try to make a middle ground and raise the kids well.
So back to social settings, in a big group I?m likely to stick with the same couple people I know best. Probably just need practise being out of my comfort zone. Conversation doesn?t flow easily from my end. If i were with all new people, like I went with a friend to a house party, I?d really struggle. That?s uncomfortable.
Sorry that was way off topic. Nice to vent a bit. Still trying to mesh what I want to be or thought I?d be with what I am today. These internal conflicts seem to get pushed aside by daily life. The busyness of work and a house and young family keeping up day to day takes over but certain times of year make me think about it more.
I guess today?s update is much shorter than all that. Fooled around with my lady this morning (bad ED- felt nothing, gave her a good time anyway). Went to small church for kids Christmas presentation, the whole experience wasn?t too bad. Kids were awesome. And have a family gathering with distant relatives tonight. No triggers or anything. Just busy.
