Terrible Suffering And Great Victory

[Rex]

Excellent report Rex-nice job!  Hope you continue to see some improvements from the physical ailments.  Keep going, and keep in touch!

Jixu,

Thanks, my physical aliments have slowly been improving.  Still have some rough days but the really bad symptoms seem to be shorter and less frequent.


Now for my journal update....

Day 383 (1 year, 18 days)

Reboot Update: One of the most interesting changes in my life is that my previous 3 decade addiction to PMO is almost forgotten.  I don't think about it, I don't count days.  The new me is a life without PMO.  One of the biggest challenges now is to keep up the vigilance and the prayer life that has gotten me to being over 1 year free from PMO.  And not forgetting that without God, I would not be where I am today.  Once in a while there are still triggers and temptations that pop into my head but I swipe them away the moment they hit my head and they really hold no power over me.  For instance if I am out at the mall and a racy ad is in a store window, I just glance away from it and pay no attention to it.  These types of things have become for me like an ultra annoying person that I just ignore and pay no attention to.  Now it's second nature for me to remain clean and practice purity.  It has provided me with a happiness I haven't had in a long time.  I am no longer a slave to lustful thoughts and temptations, I am a free man.

Health Update: It's been slow but with a change in natural supplements, I am gradually beginning to feel better and my battle with Lyme and its co-infections is gradually taking less of a toll on me.  I am getting out of the house more and the symptoms are lessening in their intensity and not lasting as long when they hit.


Thought of the day:

1) Interrupt your next fall to PMO: Next time right before you fall into PMO when you begin to feel that adrenaline rush and the temptations and urges are so intense that the fall to PMO seems inevitable.  Immediately stop what you are doing, and just standup and walk around the room and relax and perform some deep breathing exercises and really think, I mean concentrate and focus on how rotten you are going to feel emotionally and spiritually after you fall to PMO. Nobody feels good after a fall to PMO.  You can pray during this time and ask God for the strength to beat this fall.  What all this does is interrupt the process of the fall.  Then after you have gotten the heart rate lower and are feeling calmer, go do something else productive or leave the house for a few hours.  After doing something else for a few hours or leaving the house for a few hours you will have broken the chain of the inevitable fall and turned it into a victory.  Now if you continue to repeat this interruption you'll find you will be free from PMO for a day, then a week, then a month, and then a year, etc.  We are habitual in nature, break the chain of this habitual PMO behavior and your new life awaits. 

 

 

[cranm329]

Great post. Really encouraging. Thanks.

 

[Rex]

cranm329,

Thanks for the kind words.


Day 403 (over 1 year):

Reboot Update: Now I am over 1 year of being clean, I have gotten to the point where I don't think about my former PMO addiction that destroyed me for many years.  My brain is rewired differently to want to stay clean and it's now the new normal to stay clean.  The temptations still pop up in the head from time to time but they don't have a hold on me.  I see these temptations for what they are and I swat them away and they disappear.  I am continuing the daily prayer life which is vital for keeping me on the straight and narrow. 


Health Update: Slowly getting better, still having the tough days but also having more of the better days.


Thoughts of the Day: 

1) Take it one day at a time: Just get through each day as arrives, being PMO free.  Then do the same the next day and then the day after that.  Give everything you have to staying clean each day.  The days will turn into weeks and the weeks into months and then the months into years. 

2) Take control of your thoughts:: You may get hit with urges and temptations but you have the free will to entertain these urges and temptations or fight them.  If you fight and refuse to entertain these urges and temptations, you won't fall to PMO.  The fall to PMO always starts with entertaining these thoughts in your head.

3) Don't waste your time with smutty TV shows and movies: Keep the mind clear of the impurity by staying away from watching TV shows and movies that have any nudity and/or sexual content or any dirty language.  For instance I started watching a few months back some old reruns of the TV show Taxi which originally aired from 1978-1983, but after a few episodes I noticed that the characters kept talking about sex and sexual themes, so I stopped watching it.  There's an old saying "garbage in, garbage out".  When we allow this type of impurity to enter into the mind it tends to eventually manifest itself in an obsession with thinking about sex which leads to porn, masturbation, etc....  Stick with the clean TV shows and movies or find some new productive hobbies.   

   

 

[Rex]

Day 676:

Reboot Update: Sorry to all for the being off the board for not posting in 8 months. It's been quite a journey. I am now entering day 676 free from PMO (porn, masturbation, and orgasm). It's been great not being a slave to PMO for 1 year and 10 months. There have been struggles and temptations and a some occasions when I came close to falling back to PMO, but I preserved.  Before September 2018, I was a hopeless PMO addict and now I have been freed.  I can certainly attest that even though my health problems are a daily struggle, my life is so much better since being free from PMO.  I could not have done it without God. Let me repeat that again, I could not have done it without God. The daily prayer life and surrender to God are paramount in winning this battle. It's a spiritual battle for our souls. Saying the daily Rosary was the sword that allowed me to slay this addiction that had me locked up in chains. You can read my journal entries in this thread for all the details on how I accomplished this. 


Health Update: Still slowly getting better from my Lyme disease and the other co-infections that have ravaged my body for the last decade plus.  I am definitely better than I was at this time last year but I still have a ways to go. And another battle that I am fighting is that I am taking a lot of natural supplements to boost the immune system to beat the Lyme which have my sex drive running in high gear especially while I am sleep, it's like I was when I was a teenager but I am still able to harness it and conquer it and have become used to it.   


Thoughts of the Day:  

1) Never give up, continue to preserve, this battle can be won.

2) Prayer, prayer, prayer, and prayer are the armor and battle weapons in this battle. The Rosary is one of the most powerful prayers you can say to defeat sin and vice. It takes no more than 15 minutes a day. Turn off the TV, put down the cell phone, etc and pray one Rosary a day.  Over time you will see your battle begin to change in your favor and then you soon thereafter you will have victory over PMO.

3) You're not worthless, don't listen to those feelings you feel after falling to PMO.  You're just stuck in a battle that's beating you now. There are many battles in a war and the war can be won and you can be victorious keep fighting every day, never give up.



 

 

[J01]

That is quite a great report Rex, including the portion pertaining to your health in general.  Good thoughts of the day as well-take care!

 

[Georgos]

Hi Rex, you haven't posted in a while, it would be great to get an update on your condition, I've been really impressed with your approach to PMO addition so far, indeed in many ways I find you an inspiration on self-control from the little that I've read of your journal, keep us updated please. Thanks.