S
sempervirilis
Guest
Greetings Fellas,
A bit of background for me and with rebooting. I am 26 years old, fit, straightforward guy, started watching porn in my early teens and was, what I now understand, totally addicted to pornography. I dated regularly throughout, despite my addiction with inconsistent success with sexual encounters, but with an ever growing fear of losing my erections. The porn started with the normal stuff, escalated over the years to progressively more intense scenarios to the point that I began to solely look at same-sex pornography almost exclusively. I am straight, but even tried getting BJs from dudes which made me question and doubt myself. I found out about YBOP over a year and a half ago and have struggled many times to overcome this challenge. Often going halfway with my attempts. Maybe I would try cutting out P, but continue MO, or I would relapse into MO and then go right back to P...up until just 21 days ago.
21 days ago I did it. Stopped. Everything. Cold turkey. No excuses, no more hiding behind MO, or M without O. Nothing. No fantasies, no P, no M, no O. I now know how this thing should really feel and I am making progress. The first 12 days or so were the norm of on and off extreme horniness, but then flat line and emotional roller coaster. Especially through days 15 to 20. One day would be feeling on top of the world, the next, feeling the worst I had felt in a long time. It was up and down, but I had read enough and was aware enough to be happy for that. Here it was, the real deal, my brain was going through some shit and I'm on my way.
When I am truly honest with myself 21 days is the absolute longest time I have gone with absolutely no PMO, including fantasies. I am very excited to be past the 3 week mark and will continue onto the 4 week mark and onwards. The only way out of hell is to keep on walking through, and that's what I'm going to do on this one.
I am not sure if other guys have felt this way about their reboot. The moment when they know, "this is it, this is going to be my time to change." I have gone through many reboot tries before, but this one feels different. I know enough about the process, I know my body to control how I respond to the changes, and I am going to come out the other end.
I wanted to end with some positives. Briefly about me, I am generally a happy guy, make friends easily, do well with meeting girls, but I feel like my life had been hijacked by my addiction, robbing me of my natural drive to make the most of my life, and I am finally feeling like I am regaining some control in that respect. With the few depressing days, there have also been incredibly productive and exceedingly happy days. To the point that I had to adjust my behavior because I was so unfamiliar with feeling that way. That's when I could feel it, like the first couple of rain drops before the storm, it's coming.
Appreciate you reading my piece, the same stuff, different guy, but we are all brothers out there got a bit lost, but are now trying to find the right path. Good luck and look forward to updating soon.
A bit of background for me and with rebooting. I am 26 years old, fit, straightforward guy, started watching porn in my early teens and was, what I now understand, totally addicted to pornography. I dated regularly throughout, despite my addiction with inconsistent success with sexual encounters, but with an ever growing fear of losing my erections. The porn started with the normal stuff, escalated over the years to progressively more intense scenarios to the point that I began to solely look at same-sex pornography almost exclusively. I am straight, but even tried getting BJs from dudes which made me question and doubt myself. I found out about YBOP over a year and a half ago and have struggled many times to overcome this challenge. Often going halfway with my attempts. Maybe I would try cutting out P, but continue MO, or I would relapse into MO and then go right back to P...up until just 21 days ago.
21 days ago I did it. Stopped. Everything. Cold turkey. No excuses, no more hiding behind MO, or M without O. Nothing. No fantasies, no P, no M, no O. I now know how this thing should really feel and I am making progress. The first 12 days or so were the norm of on and off extreme horniness, but then flat line and emotional roller coaster. Especially through days 15 to 20. One day would be feeling on top of the world, the next, feeling the worst I had felt in a long time. It was up and down, but I had read enough and was aware enough to be happy for that. Here it was, the real deal, my brain was going through some shit and I'm on my way.
When I am truly honest with myself 21 days is the absolute longest time I have gone with absolutely no PMO, including fantasies. I am very excited to be past the 3 week mark and will continue onto the 4 week mark and onwards. The only way out of hell is to keep on walking through, and that's what I'm going to do on this one.
I am not sure if other guys have felt this way about their reboot. The moment when they know, "this is it, this is going to be my time to change." I have gone through many reboot tries before, but this one feels different. I know enough about the process, I know my body to control how I respond to the changes, and I am going to come out the other end.
I wanted to end with some positives. Briefly about me, I am generally a happy guy, make friends easily, do well with meeting girls, but I feel like my life had been hijacked by my addiction, robbing me of my natural drive to make the most of my life, and I am finally feeling like I am regaining some control in that respect. With the few depressing days, there have also been incredibly productive and exceedingly happy days. To the point that I had to adjust my behavior because I was so unfamiliar with feeling that way. That's when I could feel it, like the first couple of rain drops before the storm, it's coming.
Appreciate you reading my piece, the same stuff, different guy, but we are all brothers out there got a bit lost, but are now trying to find the right path. Good luck and look forward to updating soon.