Flatline right now

[CB]

Thanks for the encouragement Kenny! Really appreciate it, i relapsed with mo to a girl on instagram this tuesday evening. Haven?t watched porn though.. but still mo to pictures in a way is the same thing.
Urges have been stronger and the fact I have no libido scares me a little, but I?m sure it will come back around someday.

 

[kenny]

Get knocked down 7 times, stand up 8.
Just get back on track and look at the bigger picture.  There is a reason that you want to do this.  Hold on to that reason every time you start to fall back.

And btw.  Yes.. no doubt at all. IG pictures will typically lead to something bigger. 
Really.. if you can avoid any temptations then it makes it easier.  But even if you do catch a glimpse of a photo online or in a magazine, or see a girl out in real life... you just have to work on being stronger than the urge.  Beat the urge.  I'm going through it a lot lately .. now on day 79. 
You know that you have the ability to do this..  and if you keep it going, you will begin to notice some wild changes for the better.
I am noticing so many .. and I feel like I have only just started my journey.

All the best on your journey. Overcome it.

 

[Jones]

The flatline is terrible. Most times i just want to tell my family that i don't think am gonna make it out, i literally cry over this shit almost everyday im 227+ days and still in the flatline. A month ago i use to experience withdrawal so hard i think I'd be better off dead seriously. At one point whenever i wake up a panic attack would come right after id have to try and stay awake to avoid it. I have alot more shit ive been through tbh,still no sign of my sex drive improving. Not much mood swing,these days im just angry for nothing,suicidal and sometimes i literally feel like to just start killing people due to my anger.im 18 I've never had a gf in my life i dont even have friends. I had to give my phone up to reach this far btw cuz i was always fucking up at 3 months. Dont know when shit will change,i pray for a change every night but nothing happens

 

[CB]

Thanks for replying, really appreciate it. I relapsed with pmo and I think the reason was this flatline scared the hell out of me. I relapsed 3 days ago, I let my guard down and of course I had a erection with the pmo. I just got scared and really anxious about my dead penis when me and my gf was going to have sex, and I?m worried this will happen everytime we will have sex. I have ADHD and OCD so it?s just making it worse. I?m ready to get proffesional treatment though.. My gf knows about everything and she is really understanding about it.

 

[CB]

I?ve been without pmo for 14 days right now, I relapced one time during a stressful day.
It?s getting easier than before to keep away from edging, and flatline is still the same. Don?t crave real sex but pmo. The brain goes into a grieving mode after a while and thoughts like ?will I never going to be able to pmo to different girls anymore!?? I get these panic type of thoughts but I know this is just one of the thoughts that used to be like, ?just one more time, it?s the last time? or ?Now that I?ve already relapced I could as well do it one or two more times today because tomorrow I?m free??. Bullshit right?

Of to day 15.

 

[Lero]

The brain goes into a grieving mode after a while and thoughts like ?will I never going to be able to pmo to different girls anymore!?? I get these panic type of thoughts but I know this is just one of the thoughts that used to be like, ?just one more time, it?s the last time? or ?Now that I?ve already relapced I could as well do it one or two more times today because tomorrow I?m free??. Bullshit right?

Of to day 15.

This sounds so familiar. When I told myself: "Okay, starting tomorrow no more PMO!" I felt this sadness in me like losing my best friend. It was the sadness of losing the pleasure, the comfort, the "sexually frustrated" excuse... Everything that PMO was for me now I had to leave it behind and instead of feeling good about it, I felt sad as fuck. It's annoying.

 

[CB]

Yes the sadness about quitting comes and goes for a while it still does for me, it?s probably stronger now than in the beginning, but it is also fading. I have still no libido except for like 3 days ago I felt it getting back a little. Morning wood comes and goes, good and bad days. Erections are not 100% but they?re better than in the beginning. Me and my gf haven?t had sex in a while, but she knows about this, and I have my problems with performance anxiety due to this as well. Taking one step at a time. The seeker/chaser behavior has been less and less, some day ago I found myself looking at nude pics of celebs but managed to put away my phone to do something else.
day 19 now.

 

[Greenzebra]

The rationality that ooohh i could do it today ill be fine. Doesnt work. Its that little voice in your head that slowly gets louder tothat says keep doing your routine. Stick to it and switch that stimulus. You can do it.

 

[CB]

Checking in on day 23. Feel a little more tempted today when I?m just at home playing ps4. But I?m way better handling it right now than before. I know the consequences and all the anxiety isn?t worth it. Flatline is for better and for worse, haven?t had sex in a while. But it will come around I guess when I feel ready, no morning wood in a couple of days. Have a nice day

 

[CB]

Checking in on day 26

Me and my gf had successful sex yesterday, and my erection was long and 100% probably. I?m really relieved about that since I was having performance anxiety and intrusive thoughts last time and my penis felt dead.
Since yesterdays sex I got stronger urges though to watch p or pictures of girls. But I have kept myself away from that. I?m going to keep my eyes on the goal, and I never want to give in to the addiction again.

 

[CB]

Day 31 free from pmo

Flatline is really tough.. I get urges to go back on sites to watch ?just a little?. I feel actually depressed about leaving it behind, my ?safe zone?.. My lying, back stabbing, false safe zone..
I get days when I feel slight horniness though, about a week ago me and my gf had sex and my erection was really good. And now I?m back down with the zero libido.
There?s times when my brain starts to fantasize about scenes and or sexting text I?ve been part of, and I feel this sadness about leaving it behind. I?m not going back, ever.. This is part of recovering from any addiction I guess. I?m so happy about having a caring and understanding gf though, she really the best.
Flatline is tough, I have never felt like this asexual before and it?s scary. I also know that it will probably take some time before it?s getting better, just hanging on.

 

[Lero]

Day 31 free from pmo

Flatline is really tough.. I get urges to go back on sites to watch ?just a little?. I feel actually depressed about leaving it behind, my ?safe zone?.. My lying, back stabbing, false safe zone..
I get days when I feel slight horniness though, about a week ago me and my gf had sex and my erection was really good. And now I?m back down with the zero libido.
There?s times when my brain starts to fantasize about scenes and or sexting text I?ve been part of, and I feel this sadness about leaving it behind. I?m not going back, ever.. This is part of recovering from any addiction I guess. I?m so happy about having a caring and understanding gf though, she really the best.
Flatline is tough, I have never felt like this asexual before and it?s scary. I also know that it will probably take some time before it?s getting better, just hanging on.

That's something I'm fighting with too. There is this sadness of leaving P behind, like losing my best friend. I have moments when I find myself thinking: "How the fuck am I supposed to continue my life without this pleasure? Without the fun that I used to have with P. I want to go back there and have fun without having to worry about it." Discovering the harms of P was a tough blow to my enjoynment but neccessary because I was trapped in a self-destructive activity while thinking I had the fun of my life. Fucking annoying thing, man. It's destructive but you love it. At the end of the day you have to choose one. I still love P so much. I like it like the best thing on Earth. But I don't want it. I don't need it.

 

[CB]

Yeah it?s really tough, at times I really miss it. But it?s so easy to fall down, always easier to take the easy way. And unfortunately that way only leads to despair.. Broken relationships and broken hearts. God knows what.. I?m not going there and I hope none of you on here are going down there.

 

[stepbystep]

Of to day 15.

Nice congrats! Keep going!

 

[CB]

Thanks man! It?s taken many relapses to get this far.. Man.. ten years ago I told myself I can?t keep on doing this.. It?s hard work, and I feel like all the fun is over. But I know when the impulses and urges start to fade, happiness will be stronger.

 

[stepbystep]

Thanks man! It?s taken many relapses to get this far.. Man.. ten years ago I told myself I can?t keep on doing this.. It?s hard work, and I feel like all the fun is over. But I know when the impulses and urges start to fade, happiness will be stronger.

True dat! You will get true long term happiness from staying away from porn. You will experience life and happiness that way. Keep up the great work!

 

[CB]

Yeah, It?s a wonderful feeling, feeling you?ve got no secret to hide. I hope I can stay this way, and keep going forward. Sex/porn addiction has been my biggest fear all my life.. I honestly thought if I would stop doing this that I would go insane, I used to think that like 10 years ago. I have self medicated myself for so long, it?s time to put an stop to it now and face the fear.
It?s tough being an addict.. but it feels good to face the truth.

Day 34 right now.

 

[Pete McVries]

Congrats on being clean for over a month. Keep the momentum going. In a month or so, urges and cravings tend to become a lot weaker and abstaining from PMO will start to become the new "normal" for you which makes your recovery a lot easier!

Take care!

 

[CB]

Thanks Pete! Doing my best! Actually I had a bad night with less sleep, and my urges and cravings have somewhat skyrocketed today. It?s really tough but I?ve resisted. One of the places where it?s always is tough especially is when showering.. But the impulses are getting a little less powerful, so that?s good.

Day 36 today.

 

[CB]

Me and my gf had really good sex yesterday and my erection was lasting forever, I found myself thinking to myself, ?I used to be so worried about you?. Damn this feels good. The downside though is that I?ve been getting strong urges to pmo today.
Going out having lunch with my gf and then pff to the beach.

Day 38 without pmo.