Freedomisworthit
Member
Greetings Rebooters!
I hope each one of you experience success in your individual recoveries from pornography, masturbation, and orgasm. And I understand how each one has different reasons for using pornography, masturbation, and orgasm as a way to escape reality or your emotions or numb pain that you've experienced in life. I used pornography, masturbation, and orgasm as my main way to cope with the challenges of my life for years. It started when I was about 13 years old. At first, I wanted to understand my new sexual desires and I was curious how I could resolved these feelings within me. I saw store advertisements for bras, or cute models on TV and my sexuality churned within me. I didn't know how to express these feelings and I was too embarrassed to discuss them with my parents or a trusted adult. I also didn't know the meaning of self-restraint (what 13 year old does, really?). Over time, this behavior habit slowly progressed into something out of control, I was seeking pornography more often, hungering for it right after school, after basketball practices, after hanging out with friends, after church. It had become the center of my world. My viewing pornography progressed from something innocent and curious, to viewing soft core pornography, then hard core multiple times a day - I needed to watch it in order to function. I hit many points in my addiction journey where I wanted to stop, but I didn't understand how it had changed my brain (desensitization, sensitization, hypofrontality, altered stress response) and I had to be willing to walk through the nasty withdrawal symptoms in order to find joy in my life again. Now, years later (I'm 28 years old) I have been able to see how destructive this habit was in my life and how it prevented me for enjoying the simple and beautiful aspects of life - friendship, family, faith in God (I'm religious), nature, exercise, hobbies, food, making an honest living, learning, etc. These are what making life worth living! I tried to officially quit when I was 23 years old and I came out and told others that I was struggling with a pornography addiction. I didn't realize how recovery meant a sustained effort over a long period of time and replacing old habits with new habits - otherwise I would relapse, which I have several times. After help from parents, church leaders, some therapy, I believe the sure way to recover is through recognizing what the heart of why I continued using pornography and masturbation. Without the why, I would not recover. My why was because of low self-esteem, poor self-concept, and low self-worth. I thought I was hopeless, helpless, and I couldn't trust myself (I had sabotaged myself for years by choosing pornography instead of healthy relationships). But, I worked on loving myself, understanding the WHY of my decisions, stopped blaming others or my circumstances, and worked hard to become accountable for my words, choices, and deeds, checking to make sure they align with my personal morals, principles, and values. Trusting yourself and others is possible again. Loving yourself and others is possible again. Learning to live from healthy self-worth, healthy self-esteem, and a healthy self-concept is possible. Walking through and experiencing the bitter withdrawal symptoms is WORTH IT! Do it for your health, your future, your family, your friends, your happiness, your God (if you're religious). I remember that when times are toughest and I think I can't endure more because the withdrawal symptoms are overwhelming, I say to myself that these symptoms are temporary. I remind myself WHY I live and why I'm willing to win the daily battle!
YOU CAN DEFEAT AND WIN YOUR BATTLE WITH PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION ONE DAY AT A TIME! A LIFETIME OF WELLNESS AWAITS YOU!
I hope each one of you experience success in your individual recoveries from pornography, masturbation, and orgasm. And I understand how each one has different reasons for using pornography, masturbation, and orgasm as a way to escape reality or your emotions or numb pain that you've experienced in life. I used pornography, masturbation, and orgasm as my main way to cope with the challenges of my life for years. It started when I was about 13 years old. At first, I wanted to understand my new sexual desires and I was curious how I could resolved these feelings within me. I saw store advertisements for bras, or cute models on TV and my sexuality churned within me. I didn't know how to express these feelings and I was too embarrassed to discuss them with my parents or a trusted adult. I also didn't know the meaning of self-restraint (what 13 year old does, really?). Over time, this behavior habit slowly progressed into something out of control, I was seeking pornography more often, hungering for it right after school, after basketball practices, after hanging out with friends, after church. It had become the center of my world. My viewing pornography progressed from something innocent and curious, to viewing soft core pornography, then hard core multiple times a day - I needed to watch it in order to function. I hit many points in my addiction journey where I wanted to stop, but I didn't understand how it had changed my brain (desensitization, sensitization, hypofrontality, altered stress response) and I had to be willing to walk through the nasty withdrawal symptoms in order to find joy in my life again. Now, years later (I'm 28 years old) I have been able to see how destructive this habit was in my life and how it prevented me for enjoying the simple and beautiful aspects of life - friendship, family, faith in God (I'm religious), nature, exercise, hobbies, food, making an honest living, learning, etc. These are what making life worth living! I tried to officially quit when I was 23 years old and I came out and told others that I was struggling with a pornography addiction. I didn't realize how recovery meant a sustained effort over a long period of time and replacing old habits with new habits - otherwise I would relapse, which I have several times. After help from parents, church leaders, some therapy, I believe the sure way to recover is through recognizing what the heart of why I continued using pornography and masturbation. Without the why, I would not recover. My why was because of low self-esteem, poor self-concept, and low self-worth. I thought I was hopeless, helpless, and I couldn't trust myself (I had sabotaged myself for years by choosing pornography instead of healthy relationships). But, I worked on loving myself, understanding the WHY of my decisions, stopped blaming others or my circumstances, and worked hard to become accountable for my words, choices, and deeds, checking to make sure they align with my personal morals, principles, and values. Trusting yourself and others is possible again. Loving yourself and others is possible again. Learning to live from healthy self-worth, healthy self-esteem, and a healthy self-concept is possible. Walking through and experiencing the bitter withdrawal symptoms is WORTH IT! Do it for your health, your future, your family, your friends, your happiness, your God (if you're religious). I remember that when times are toughest and I think I can't endure more because the withdrawal symptoms are overwhelming, I say to myself that these symptoms are temporary. I remind myself WHY I live and why I'm willing to win the daily battle!
YOU CAN DEFEAT AND WIN YOUR BATTLE WITH PORNOGRAPHY ADDICTION ONE DAY AT A TIME! A LIFETIME OF WELLNESS AWAITS YOU!