My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot

[Jeks]

Hey blue ice tea, one of the best advices i can give, is to have strong reasons why you want to quit. They have got to be psychological as strong as the urges, in order to overcome those.
A big one is, that you are playing with fire. If you dont got any psychological or sexual problems yet, you definitely have a bigger chance on getting those with porn.
If you already feel like, porn is effecting you negatively in your life, then make it clear in yout mind, which areas you sabotage yourself in by using porn.
When you are able to recall those while having urges, i am sure you will double your chances on overcoming those.
Against fantasizing i try to focus on my surroundings and try to think about stuff i see around me. For example when seeing a cup, i think about how a cup is made, what i can drink out of it, maybe tea, what types of tea do i like, what types of tea do i dont like, why is that, maybe there are bitter, what else has a bitter taste... You see where this is going. I try to think about other stuff until i feel like i passed the "rabbit hole" (its called the rabbit hole technique, i have got it from the " brain rebalanced radioshow" on youtube).

Wish you the best of luck.

 

[blueicetea10]

Thanks Jeks I really appreciate that advice, the rabbit hole reminds of the curiosity one might have on psychedelics. It sounds like a fun and effective tool to add to my arsenal.

With regards to having strong reasons to quit I will list some out now as an exercise:

• I am in a loving and dedicated relationship and I want to be 100% sexually engaged with my partner and not with pixels on a screen attempting to capture the essence of another woman.
• My porn habits are self destructive and feed off of a centre of shame, any use of any vanilla material leads back to and feeds that shame and I find myself looking at material that conjures many negative feelings that far outweigh the short burst of dopamine which pails in comparison to real sex.
• I do not want to be plugged into the machine which is pumping dark content in HD into people's minds. The big players behind sights such as p*****b have far too much control over what I grow to find attractive. I want to unplug from that system which is also linked with human trafficking, rape and sexual abuse.
• I have before experienced very minor PIED and more significant delayed ejaculation and I therefore can see myself as being prone to suffering from porn related penis issues if I continue to watch the stuff.
• I feel guilty looking at and lusting over images of other women when I am deeply in love with one female who deserves my full attention.
• I am aware that porn use can errode the ability to feel strong feelings of sexual connection with a real life partner. Regardless of my relationship it is real women that I am interested in, not digital ones.
• I believe integrity is a measure of your intrinsic value as a human being and I find that my porn use undercuts my own ideas of what's right and who I am. I want to be congruent in my thoughts and actions and proud of the decisions I make, this is not something I can do under the spell of dark, digital errotica.
• I truly believe that porn is a ticking time bomb of a social and medical epidemic. Given the statistics I have seen on the widespread use of porn, its negative side effects, and the increasing access to more gory and misguided content I predict a wave of PIED and porn induced mental health disorders and relationship problems that will become a huge problem in our time. I have acknowledged this as a young man and I am in a rare position to make this change to my lifestyle young and unplug myself from the machine that is the porn industry and digital sex.

Three current pillars: If it ain't real no deal. Not today. Distract.

 

[blueicetea10]

Hey friends,

I have used porn once since my last post. My tastes were brief and vanilla and the experience was not associated with shame or negative feelings. That's certainly a sign that I can use porn in a way that is at least neutral rather than negative. However, other side effects involved lack of energy, reduced sex drive, reduced sensitivity in real sex, increased oogling and objectification of IRL women and the desire to consume more porn.

I am also very aware that after a while of consuming regular porn, my brain craves more extreme pornography. And I don't want to be spending so many cycles thinking about all this stuff anyway.

I read all my reasons for quitting and they are 100% true! All that's different is the sexual impulsive part of my brain is telling me to deny it and look at it anyway. When I use more rational thinking I totally agree that porn is best to be avoided. If I decide I am going to use it, fine. BUT I will delay delay delay. Because my current focus is not today.

I think to really learn from how living completely without porn would be I will try and go cold turkey from now and for the whole of June. I might M without P during this time but we'll see.

Best of luck all, I hope your journeys are pleasant.

 

[blueicetea10]

Hey all !

I hope everyone is well today and wishing the best of luck on your journeys. I used porn yesterday, getting strong urges while working to a deadline and decided to give in rather then fight the distraction all day. Use of material was very vanilla but some compulsive behaviours on show. Next time if it comes to that I'll choose M over PMO. But still following the principles:

• If it ain't real no deal.
• Not today. Delay delay delay.
• M over PMO.
• Positivity in success and setbacks.

I am joining by accountability buddies on a 90 day challenge.The reason is that I want to see what life is like without PMO! Strange that this is something I have not experienced... for as long as I can remember.

To treat myself when I succeed I'm going to buy something I really really want but can't justify buying. I will keep that in my mind when the urges get real. The 90 day period will end on Thursday 27 August 2020.

Also this thread has has 500 views! Awesome to know others have read and shared in my journey and that I may have helped others who have gone through similar journeys.

Best wishes all 

 

[Chris Oz]

Nice one.... I guess I have a partner on this challenge. It's also great to have a reward that we would set to do..... It gsiykd help give extra motivation.

The rabbit hike technique also looks good. I think it works. Only thing is at some point we try to sabotage it.

There's another I talked about on my forum on day 2 of this current challenge. You can check it out.

Congrats on 500 views
Keep pushing back
Chris

 

[blueicetea10]

Thanks Chris!

I am on ~ day 14 of the 90 day challenge. I have surfed the urges pretty well by:

• Not today. Delay delay delay.
• If it ain't real no deal.
• Better to MO than PMO
• Positivity in success and setbacks
• Giving myself a reward at the end of the challenge which I am looking forward to. Something which I'm way more hyped about than watching porn.

Sending best wishes to everyone! 

 

[blueicetea10]

Oh and another thing: this 2 week period has bin fucking bliss. I cannot stress enough that the blood sweat and tears that I put into getting here was 100% worth it. Even if this streak breaks and I have a little set back period, these periods of non-use are absolutely worth the struggle in getting off the launchpad. I'll remember that if and when I experience a setback.

Page 2 hype.  ;D

 

[Chris Oz]

I'm really proud of you man, you're doing great. Keep your eyes on the prize... It's more than just the orice
.. But I love that it has positioned itself as a great motivator  ;D

Keep doing your best... Daily victories

Keep pushing back!
Chris

 

[smitdum]

Great job man keep going. few years from now you will thank yourself for showing such willpower. 14 dyas is a great achievement.

 

[blueicetea10]

Thank you so much for the support guys!

I actually thought I made a post a while ago but must have not posted it or something...

Anyway, coming out of a rut of 4 resets in about 5 days. Now working on getting that big streak up!

Staying positive

 

[blueicetea10]

Staying positive! Had a breaking point after a lot of set backs in the last week. I have come at it with fresh energy. I have a great opportunity to change up my environment and habits this week so I'm gonna work to get on the right track and coast into that period, using the change of scenario to carry me forward.

Love rereading what I wrote when I was on long streaks, makes it all worth it.

Had a mind blower yesterday. Was feeling quite low and as though as much as I try I keep failing and feeling a tad hopeless. Then it hit me. What would my life look like if I gave up? I imagined that and realised that's orders of magnitude worse than if I just keep bumbling along trying my best. So here I am, just keeping on going, because that's all I can do. And that's enough!

Learn, grow, get better, all of that.

To everyone else out there good luck, be kind to yourself Try and stay positive.

 

[blueicetea10]

Time flies by! I am feeling a little sad and anxious which I put down to withdrawals. However, I am rereading YBOP and I put these down to my brain recovering so it's actually an awesome feeling knowing that I am recovering even as I type this.

I have just had the prompt on a success thread to think about triggers so here's an exercise on working around them.

My triggers are:

Reddit.
Catching glimpses of soft porn and fantasising about it.
Fantasising about porn.

I usually use porn when:

Alone with a computer.
Tired.
In a private place.
Feeling intense urges.

I will fight these triggers and habits by:
Not using reddit (blocked on phone, replacing with news sites).
Blocking recommended YT videos & staying busy and social.
Keeping my pc in a public place.
Not sleeping in the same room as my phone.
Exercising to divert urges.

I wish everyone else the very best of luck and the greatest happiness and success. Be kind to yourself. Message me if you need help / advice / support. I've been there!

 

[Chris Oz]

Keep at ir man! Daily victories for now. With time the withdrawal symptoms would get better and you'd feel more in control

 

[Sanders]

Hey,

Really clear and structured observations and plans you've made in your post. Easy to identify, easy to stop. The earlier in the build-up towards PMO you can avoid it, the better. If the urge keeps being built up continuously it'd be only more difficult to escape from it. I trust that your new approach will bring you some help.

Good luck

 

[blerasdcru]

yeaa blueicetea10!!! keep rocking !!

 

[Chris Oz]

It's been a while man, I hope you're doing fine. Waiting for your next post

 

[blueicetea10]

Thank you for all the support everyone it's so nice to come back from a little time off track and find that people are checking in on me. Thanks especially Chris, we've been in this together for a while now !  ;D

To summarise recent events:
- Had some busy weeks
- Had some good streaks
- Had some setbacks
- Binged quite heavily last night, but overall was quite a positive binge (did not look at shameful or shocking material)

What to take away from this? This is really about long term skill, knowledge and grit and these bumps are all part of the journey. The fact that I can say that was probably my only real binge of this year, and it was a pretty positive one, is a huge statement! It's not all pats on the back though, because there's work to be done. However, I am pretty happy with my progress right now. I do however, really want to see 100 days without porn! I have switched to using a streak tracker, which is partly why I have been less active here, as I have been using that more. However it's always good to come back here and count myself as one of the very fortunate people to have decided to "unplug from the matrix" as I saw someone title their journal.

Also again I said from the start that this will be all ups and downs, and my oh my did I have no idea just how bumpy this road would be. I have had a fistfull of side effects from binging on porn. A huge one: non stop urges to look at women in public, to a level where it's quite frustrating. Just thought that would be worth documenting.

Yadda yadda, that's all from me.

I really hope everyone commenting on my thread, and throughout this forum, and even the world, has a good time coming. I hope you find success on your mission to cut back on digital stimulus and reclaim your natural sexuality. Again, "my DMs are wide open" if you want a private chat about anything I've mentioned.

 

[blueicetea10]

Hey hey me again. 1200 views on this thread and I'm super happy to hopefully have helped others by sharing my failures and successes with you all.

State of my reboot: I want to get to 100 days really really bad!

Let's doooooo itttttttttttttttttttt.

Best of luck everyone !!!

 

[Morganpat]

Good luck getting to 100 days!. In my opinion we shouldn't be too harsh on ourselves when we relapse. The important thing is to reduce the habit one day at a time and to implement a healthy lifestyle step by step.
Good luck brothers
Cheers.

 

[Chris Oz]

Yeah, one step at a time. Just focus on daily victories and before you k ow it you'd have surpassed it. Focusing on daily victories means keeping tabs and making sure you're following you routine setup for recovery - meditation, checking in, prayers, contact with spouse or sponsor etc.
Keep pushing back
Chris