My Success Story - blueicetea10 Reboot
- Thread starter blueicetea10
- Start date
blueicetea10
Member
Thanks for the comments friends, I totally agree! In fact I have recently started using a day tracker to keep track of daily victories. When I first started out and I was having setback after setback I think having the counter actually hurt more than helped, but now I'm consistently pulling a few days in a row at least the counter is a nice way to track small victories.
State of my reboot: I looked at porn twice in the last week or two. Neither time did I masturbate to it or binge. The first time I used self control which I am proud of, and the second time I got luck and someone barged into my room forcing me to snap out of it moments after I had started.
That puts me back on day 1, but it's a damn good day to be on day 1 !
Feeling pretty good, super glad I have put all this work in and very grateful for my successes and support I have received from others. Next time I'm in the dumps and feeling though, read and remember this: the effort is worth it for how I'm feeling now, and all the happy days.
Lots of love all!
State of my reboot: I looked at porn twice in the last week or two. Neither time did I masturbate to it or binge. The first time I used self control which I am proud of, and the second time I got luck and someone barged into my room forcing me to snap out of it moments after I had started.
That puts me back on day 1, but it's a damn good day to be on day 1 !
Feeling pretty good, super glad I have put all this work in and very grateful for my successes and support I have received from others. Next time I'm in the dumps and feeling though, read and remember this: the effort is worth it for how I'm feeling now, and all the happy days.
Lots of love all!
blueicetea10
Member
Hey friends,
Copy and pasting a message to save time on my update.
I have had a strange couple of weeks. The first I hit what at the time felt like rock bottom, relapsing for multiple days in a row and suffering mentally from it. Now it's been over a week and I fought through it all, coming out feeling amazing. I have been using a counter on my phone called 'Reboot' which has the basic functionality I'm after. To get through it I've been keeping really busy and kept my eyes on other parts of life, as well as being honest with my girlfriend about the battle I'm fighting, which has helped.
Here's a good thread.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/i7eoez/i_am_the_end_result_of_a_having_a_porn_addiction/
Love the sentiment that no one is coming to save you, it's up to you, and that I have the power now to take control of what I otherwise would eventually wish I had.
I am getting porn flash backs from 2 or 3 specific scenes, gonna channel that energy into something else and move into a room with someone else! Tips I learnt from other people's success threads here.
What I wrote last time about the pain being worth it for the good times is so true. 'When did people start thinking that it's not ok to suffer for something you want badly.' ~ coach Fitz.
Good luck everyone!
Copy and pasting a message to save time on my update.
I have had a strange couple of weeks. The first I hit what at the time felt like rock bottom, relapsing for multiple days in a row and suffering mentally from it. Now it's been over a week and I fought through it all, coming out feeling amazing. I have been using a counter on my phone called 'Reboot' which has the basic functionality I'm after. To get through it I've been keeping really busy and kept my eyes on other parts of life, as well as being honest with my girlfriend about the battle I'm fighting, which has helped.
Here's a good thread.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pornfree/comments/i7eoez/i_am_the_end_result_of_a_having_a_porn_addiction/
Love the sentiment that no one is coming to save you, it's up to you, and that I have the power now to take control of what I otherwise would eventually wish I had.
I am getting porn flash backs from 2 or 3 specific scenes, gonna channel that energy into something else and move into a room with someone else! Tips I learnt from other people's success threads here.
What I wrote last time about the pain being worth it for the good times is so true. 'When did people start thinking that it's not ok to suffer for something you want badly.' ~ coach Fitz.
Good luck everyone!
blueicetea10
Member
** WARNING DESCRIPTION OF PORN USAGE IN RELAPSE**
Just had a huge relapse. Went way back through all my oldest habits including: insta stalking old crushes and friends, looking at interracial cuckoldy cheating pictures on google images (as actual porn and reddit is blocked in my phone), moved to laptop and went to cuckolding and cheating captions, then back to vanilla photos of girls all on reddit, then back to the cheating stuff I think and finished.
** OVER **
Wow, sorry to give such an in depth description of what happened but honestly I'm tired of hiding and not taking ownership of my actions. I'll need to break down in the future what, why, how etc. I'm using each of these and what kind of insecurities / habits they stem from. In the mean time I will state that I did all of that, those were in fact my actions and I've just gotta get on with what comes next. I'll learn, grow and get better. But, there's no taking back actions. It was literally minutes ago so I'm going to bed now as it's very late. However, I did watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4 by an older guy who has gone 50 years of addiction to porn. He didn't realise he was addicted until he was around 60 and it took him 9 years to recover. That means I have a lot of time to recover! Slightly different because I have grown up with high speed internet porn instead of magazines etc. but still if he can do it then I can too.
He also said:
"There's a big difference between abstaining and recovery." I need to rewatch this video anther time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4
I'm looking at joining a porn anonymous meeting group or something where I can talk to someone face to face about this. I might make another fresh account and look for someone to talk to on the phone. Need to have a real heart to heart with someone who is going through the same stuff.
Good luck everyone! We can all be better!
Just had a huge relapse. Went way back through all my oldest habits including: insta stalking old crushes and friends, looking at interracial cuckoldy cheating pictures on google images (as actual porn and reddit is blocked in my phone), moved to laptop and went to cuckolding and cheating captions, then back to vanilla photos of girls all on reddit, then back to the cheating stuff I think and finished.
** OVER **
Wow, sorry to give such an in depth description of what happened but honestly I'm tired of hiding and not taking ownership of my actions. I'll need to break down in the future what, why, how etc. I'm using each of these and what kind of insecurities / habits they stem from. In the mean time I will state that I did all of that, those were in fact my actions and I've just gotta get on with what comes next. I'll learn, grow and get better. But, there's no taking back actions. It was literally minutes ago so I'm going to bed now as it's very late. However, I did watch this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4 by an older guy who has gone 50 years of addiction to porn. He didn't realise he was addicted until he was around 60 and it took him 9 years to recover. That means I have a lot of time to recover! Slightly different because I have grown up with high speed internet porn instead of magazines etc. but still if he can do it then I can too.
He also said:
"There's a big difference between abstaining and recovery." I need to rewatch this video anther time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LMI29oD3Fq4
I'm looking at joining a porn anonymous meeting group or something where I can talk to someone face to face about this. I might make another fresh account and look for someone to talk to on the phone. Need to have a real heart to heart with someone who is going through the same stuff.
Good luck everyone! We can all be better!
blueicetea10
Member
Thanks Chris, I'm seriously considering picking up the phone. I feel like talking to someone going through the exact same thing face to face would be a huge help to me.
I just had quite a relapse. Not one huge relapse or anything. More like it's the last day of summer today and I spent an hour of sunshine jacking off in my room. That means I'll miss another hour catching up on the work I should have been doing then. ....
Enough of that negativity. It's been a few weeks since I really put effort into quitting porn, and instead of going away.. Surprise: it's only getting worse. I found that I was looking and looking for porn videos, struggling to find one that excited me. Had to be the perfect one and even then I clicked off within seconds, hunting through recommended videos. That's a sure sign of addiction. That + the highly edited, intense porn I was watching is the kind that I know will give my erectile dysfunction if I jack of to it. I've slipped into my habits all the way back at the start of the year of watching porn almost everyday that I don't see my girlfriend.
Enough is enough honestly. I want out of this. Only consistent hard work can do that. So let's do it. Good luck everyone. I'm sorry this post isn't as cheery as my usual. I really want everyone reading this to be successful. I really believe that if we keep trying, get smarter and better over time, and stay on the path that we'll have a great time along the way.
Best wishes all!
I just had quite a relapse. Not one huge relapse or anything. More like it's the last day of summer today and I spent an hour of sunshine jacking off in my room. That means I'll miss another hour catching up on the work I should have been doing then. ....
Enough of that negativity. It's been a few weeks since I really put effort into quitting porn, and instead of going away.. Surprise: it's only getting worse. I found that I was looking and looking for porn videos, struggling to find one that excited me. Had to be the perfect one and even then I clicked off within seconds, hunting through recommended videos. That's a sure sign of addiction. That + the highly edited, intense porn I was watching is the kind that I know will give my erectile dysfunction if I jack of to it. I've slipped into my habits all the way back at the start of the year of watching porn almost everyday that I don't see my girlfriend.
Enough is enough honestly. I want out of this. Only consistent hard work can do that. So let's do it. Good luck everyone. I'm sorry this post isn't as cheery as my usual. I really want everyone reading this to be successful. I really believe that if we keep trying, get smarter and better over time, and stay on the path that we'll have a great time along the way.
Best wishes all!
blueicetea10
Member
WHAT I AM GOING TO DO DIFFERENTLY NEXT TIME (WAIGTDDNT):
- Pick up the phone to sex addicts anonymous. I need to talk to people about this with a more personal connection.
- Visit this forum everyday.
- Set streak goals for myself.
I will join a sex addicts call tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM.
I will visit this forum tomorrow evening.
I set the short term goal of getting through the rest of today and until tomorrow evening without looking at artificial sexual stimulation.
And another goal to not look at YouTube/TikTok/reddit/Twitter/News for the rest of today.
- Pick up the phone to sex addicts anonymous. I need to talk to people about this with a more personal connection.
- Visit this forum everyday.
- Set streak goals for myself.
I will join a sex addicts call tomorrow morning at 7:45 AM.
I will visit this forum tomorrow evening.
I set the short term goal of getting through the rest of today and until tomorrow evening without looking at artificial sexual stimulation.
And another goal to not look at YouTube/TikTok/reddit/Twitter/News for the rest of today.