Quick thanks to Gabe

[Andrew1973]

I'm so pleased for you Mr S. Not just the 6 days, although that in itself is a wonderful achievement, but reading in your journal and in the communication with the other guys, it seems like you are getting involved in the magic of reciprocal support. I only just read the post about you getting laid off from work - is that temporary? I presume also you were tested -ve? Where in the US do you live? See you on day 7.

 

[mr.slurps]

Hi UK,  You may be the person most responsible for my progress (besides myself.)  So far you're batting 1,000% which is baseballese for not giving me a single bum steer.  It helps knowing that you're doing well b/c you've held me to a high standard and that has been a good strategy (I get the impression you also hold yourself to a high std.). W/ some people here you have to put on the kid gloves and you have a good instinct as to the balance.
I am back to work and looking forward to day 7 tomorrow. I've seen from these posts that we have a lot to be grateful for. (I have no physiological stuff, and I'm not depressed, this positive slant itself) I'll leave the negatives aside for there is no sense in dwelling on them.
As far as day count, I've made minuscule progress. Almost every day is a struggle. But when I look at my personal journals I see, just in terms of time wasted, that this is the right thing to do.
It's hard to quantify the anecdotal benefits and that is one of the great things re this forum. We read plenty of accounts of good/bad that substantiate our own. And that seems real enough for me b/c it reaches an emotional level. (Unlike quitting cigs.)
oooops!  There I go rambling again.
You're right the support here is very helpful. For me it's a toss up.  I love the encouragement/advice. There is also the dimension that writing here truly forces me to be honest w/ myself. That's not easy for me. Do you have that issue?

 

[Andrew1973]

Hi Mr S,
Thank you for your kind words. They really mean a lot to me, and it also works the other way around - I feel that if I mess up now, I let you down!...so we help each other! It's also really helpful for me to see guys like JoePanic on here who are in a different league in terms of sobriety and give me something to realistically aspire to (if Joe can do it....then why can't I?!) As you correctly say, the person most responsible for your progress is indeed you...and you're doing great.
I don't have too much of an issue with the honesty stuff - at least on here. I would naturally be more reticent to discuss the details with people in real life, but would be comfortable talking in generic terms about YBOP etc. That's another reason why it's great to come here, as it's not in the generic conversations that we grow, but in the detail...in the openness and honesty amongst those who are also enlightened regarding the desire for change.
How are you doing today? Wishing you a good weekend.

 

[mr.slurps]

Hiya Pal,  I finally got "Stop Thinking..."  Good call.  Very helpful.  It's like a positive form of meditation.
On the good side, I've gotten past a rough point for me. It was the habitual routine of pmo in my daily "activities."  B/c I'm living alone I don't have the others in the house affecting when I would pmo. So, it was part of the day (in denial of course.)
But now it's not like that. I'm still tempted a lot but it comes in spurts (no pun lol). 
Then I can use the Carlson technique and let it slide away, knowing eventually the urge will cease to exist.
Thanks for the recommendation.  Any others?

 

[Andrew1973]

Morning Mr S - yes, that knowledge that the urge (or bad thoughts, mood) will naturally pass if left alone, and therefore don't need acting on is so powerful, isn't it? I need to do a bit of that today as I had some 'arousing' dreams in the night and need to let them subside. I can completely identify with how much more challenging this journey is when one lives alone. In the past, whenever my wife and kids were out of the house, PMO would be pretty much all I'd do. I guess that's the challenge I am currently being protected from by Covid lockdown. You are battling it head on...bravo! In terms of books, and I think I mentioned this one elsewhere...The Little Book of Stoicism by Jonas Salzgeber is really good, and I've just started Man's Search For Meaning by Viktor Frankl which I'm listening to as an audio book whilst exercising! I'm going to re-read Carlson I think after I've finished that. Have a good day.

 

[Andrew1973]

How are you Mr S? Just noticed you've been quiet for the past couple of days. Hope all is well my friend.

 

[mr.slurps]

Hi UK,  Everything is better (day #2).  I'm not in the tail-spin I was in the last time I relapsed/edged.
Yesterday I felt like I was doomed to edge again so I jumped on the opportunity to work an extra shift just to get out of my house. When I got home I awarded myself a good meal, lots of wine and a movie. All of that is positive for me b/c those are things I don't overdo.
The chaser effect is pulling hard but I also know that it's power is limited to about 5 days or so.
Then I hope I can regain traction and keep pulling.

 

[Andrew1973]

Good man Mr S. Well done and thanks for letting me know. Bed time here now, but I?m really pleased you?ve bounced back. Take care.

 

[Andrew1973]

How are you today Mr Slurps?

 

[mr.slurps]

Hi UK,  I'm hanging on by the skin of my teeth. (Day 4) I've been feeling blah with no real reason.
It could be Covid or loneliness.  That's a sure-fire trigger for me so I have to drag my sorry butt out of the house.
Are you well?
Have you gotten to the point where porn has no appeal? 

 

[Andrew1973]

Hey Mr S - I was worried about you as you've been quiet, but I'm delighted to hear that you're still going strong, albeit with some challenges. I think the void feeling is totally normal, and suggest that you think about meaningful things to fill it with that will help you feel positive.
Re me, I wouldn't say I've got to the point yet where porn  has no appeal, but it has diminished vastly in my day to day thinking. If I were to consciously think of it, then sure...those brain circuits and pathways would light up. I'm very careful with what I choose to think about - so no fanaticising whilst laying in bed at night etc, plus I am pretty distracted at the moment with work and home life, so that's helping a lot too. What's that saying "The devil makes work for idle hands"?
Is there a reason why you've been quieter on here? Why not let the other guys know you're ok on your journal - I'm sure there will be words of wisdom and encouragement. Take care my friend and stay off that bloody chair! ;-)