Want better sex, better life
- Thread starter davideyar
- Start date
Hello everyone. I'm here to do an update.
I have been keeping busy and I find that that really helps with overcoming and not having time to think about the urges and temptations to PMO.
However, it is also hard in a way that it makes you think of your life and the issues that you have been hinding through PMO. Now that you don't have the tool to hide these problems, you start to face these things that you've been hiding from.
I'm not perfect. I have not been dealing with these problems with the most ideal solution and I still run away from some of them but I am getting better at it little by little. I am starting to see possible options of the directions I can take with my life. Now, it is now deciding what option to take and how to take these choices. It's still a struggle. Committing to one option is scary but it is always important to remember that these choices are not the end all, be all and that if it doesn't work out it's not the end of things.
Happy Holidays everyone! Small progress is still progress.
I have been keeping busy and I find that that really helps with overcoming and not having time to think about the urges and temptations to PMO.
However, it is also hard in a way that it makes you think of your life and the issues that you have been hinding through PMO. Now that you don't have the tool to hide these problems, you start to face these things that you've been hiding from.
I'm not perfect. I have not been dealing with these problems with the most ideal solution and I still run away from some of them but I am getting better at it little by little. I am starting to see possible options of the directions I can take with my life. Now, it is now deciding what option to take and how to take these choices. It's still a struggle. Committing to one option is scary but it is always important to remember that these choices are not the end all, be all and that if it doesn't work out it's not the end of things.
Happy Holidays everyone! Small progress is still progress.
Hey all. I haven't posted here in a minute. Wow.
Life has been going and I've really focused on my art the past few months of not posting. I've found that not obsessing about counting the days have worked for me the best and instead pouring more time on doing what I love which is art. This really takes your mind off PMO but I understand that not many know a hobby that is so consuming like drawing or painting. There's so much to learn and more variety with said drawing as a hobby compared to other hobbies like guitar example were it's really all the same. You can only play so much guitar before your hand starts to hurt and you might get bored with it compared to drawing where you have different subjects and different mediums to try. Anywho, that's besides the point.
That's not to say that I've never PMOed. I most definitely did but not everyday like I used to before discovering nofap. It really varies - sometimes I would do it once a week, or 2 days a week, or maybe 3 straight days but most certainly only once a day and sometimes for consecutive days but definitely not everyday of the week. As I said, 3 consecutive days max.
Do I still have PIED? I really don't know. With this pandemic going on, I've only had one sexual encounter and it was just fine but it also happened on one of those weeks where I was masturbating for 3 days
But it doesn't really bother me as of the moment.
I still would like to complete a full 90 day challenge however. Just so I could say I did it and just so I could finally beat PIED for sure. So I'm planning to do the 90 days on this second quarter APR-MAY-JUN. I'm on day 4 right now. Going strong, my boys!
I also still struggle with YouTube addiction but I suppose that's better than porn addiction. I'm currently experimenting on limiting my overall internet usage by having a schedule and only having access at 5pm after I'm done all my work. It's been working so far.
I will update soon whenever that is. See you soon! To all of us who are willing to change ourselves to be better, know that greatness is coming. (Captain Sinbad)
Life has been going and I've really focused on my art the past few months of not posting. I've found that not obsessing about counting the days have worked for me the best and instead pouring more time on doing what I love which is art. This really takes your mind off PMO but I understand that not many know a hobby that is so consuming like drawing or painting. There's so much to learn and more variety with said drawing as a hobby compared to other hobbies like guitar example were it's really all the same. You can only play so much guitar before your hand starts to hurt and you might get bored with it compared to drawing where you have different subjects and different mediums to try. Anywho, that's besides the point.
That's not to say that I've never PMOed. I most definitely did but not everyday like I used to before discovering nofap. It really varies - sometimes I would do it once a week, or 2 days a week, or maybe 3 straight days but most certainly only once a day and sometimes for consecutive days but definitely not everyday of the week. As I said, 3 consecutive days max.
Do I still have PIED? I really don't know. With this pandemic going on, I've only had one sexual encounter and it was just fine but it also happened on one of those weeks where I was masturbating for 3 days
But it doesn't really bother me as of the moment.I still would like to complete a full 90 day challenge however. Just so I could say I did it and just so I could finally beat PIED for sure. So I'm planning to do the 90 days on this second quarter APR-MAY-JUN. I'm on day 4 right now. Going strong, my boys!
I also still struggle with YouTube addiction but I suppose that's better than porn addiction. I'm currently experimenting on limiting my overall internet usage by having a schedule and only having access at 5pm after I'm done all my work. It's been working so far.
I will update soon whenever that is. See you soon! To all of us who are willing to change ourselves to be better, know that greatness is coming. (Captain Sinbad)
I cured PIED but. . .
I'm back after almost 3 years. I don't know how much of you are still active here. Hopefully not as many and that most of you have moved on with your lives and have succeed with your nofap/semen retention/rebooting challenge.
If not, it's fine too. I sympathize with you because addictions are hard especially with how prevalent porn is these days.
I guess I should start this entry by saying that I beat PIED. . . sort of.
The last two years I have dedicated to my career so I haven't really been hands on with beating PIED. (What are these choice of words lmao)
In these two years, I have had both succesful and semi-succesful sex that involved penetrative sex. I am finally able to penetrate but I need to meet certain conditions. First, I must not have PMO or O'd for a week before attempting to penetrate which is quite hassle. Why do I need to wait so long and plan my sexual encounters?
Second condition, I must not wear protection which is quite bad in the hookup culture of the gay world and lastly, I need to only fuck with my preferred positions which makes sex really limited for me. Essentially, I could only operate when my partner is riding me and with doggy style. Quite graphic, I know.
But it's quite stressful for me needing to meet all these conditions in order to have proper sex.
To tell the honest truth, I have gone back to PMO but not as severe as I used to but that just shows how bad it really is that even in small amounts, it can do this much.
A big reason as to why is because I have moved to a different country where the language is foreign to me. The language is hard to master and not being able to communicate is isolating. I have gotten better with my socializing skills but the language is different and the cultural nuances that I need to know takes time to learn. Needless to say, that is one of the main reasons as to why I unconsciously turned to PMO but to a degree of moderation.
A good half a year of being in this new environment, I found someone that you would call as a fuck buddy. He was the same nationality as I am which is why it was easy to talk to him.
The first time was as expected, I was having trouble getting hard after months of PMO but eventually, I succeed with penetration albeit the erections weren't the best. It was still a win my eyes.
This partnership went on for months and I made some observations throughout. For reference, we had sex once weekly. The longer I saved my cum, or didn't watch porn and masturbated, the better my erections were. Plain and simple. But I would still fall to edging and watching porn and end up sabotaging myself.The sexual encounter I had earlier just proved my speculations, too. I can penetrate but my erections go away once I change positions. I also confirmed that abstinence helps albeit annoying. Eventually, my end goal is to have spontaneous sex that doesn't really require planning and saving my juices. It's annoying.
So would I say that I'm cured from PIED? Yes and no. I've achieved what I set out to do when I first made this journal all those years ago but it is far from ideal. I've discovered kinks that I need to work out.
My updated goals this time around are the following:
1) Get rid of porn - I feel like If I get rid of this shit, most of my problems would go away. I wouldn't have expectations, I wouldn't have desensitized dick, I wouldn't have a problem choosing reality over fantasy. I wouldn't have a problem being the performer on my own show instead of being used to be a watcher.
2) Have better, harder, and quality erections - This just has something to do with the M part of things. That wouldn't have to happen if P wasn't there. It really all points to P. But still, this would be nice to have.
I can't wait for the day that I finally have firm, solid, long lasting erections that would make my partner happy.
Of course, I'd also like to have morning woods and especially spontaneous erections. I'd love to finally get hard when somebody is flirting with me or doing sexy things to me.
3) Rewiring to real people - This is just something that happens if you actually pursue real people. With how busy I've been the last few years, I think it's finally time to chase people instead of porn. In my opinion, this is probably the fastest way to get rid of PIED or at least help with a faster recovery. I already know for a fact that as long as I don't PMO, I know I will have a hard dick.
The true end goal: To have spontaneous sex. I absolutely how I have to meet certain conditions to have sex. I can't wait for the day where I am able to just get it on when I want to and not have to "save" or prepare or plan my sexual encounters. I want to enjoy sex and to do that, PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. I am the star of my show.
So yes, I am back. Older and wiser and ready to finally beat the 90 days and PIED alongside it. This is Day 4.
I'm back after almost 3 years. I don't know how much of you are still active here. Hopefully not as many and that most of you have moved on with your lives and have succeed with your nofap/semen retention/rebooting challenge.
If not, it's fine too. I sympathize with you because addictions are hard especially with how prevalent porn is these days.
I guess I should start this entry by saying that I beat PIED. . . sort of.
The last two years I have dedicated to my career so I haven't really been hands on with beating PIED. (What are these choice of words lmao)
In these two years, I have had both succesful and semi-succesful sex that involved penetrative sex. I am finally able to penetrate but I need to meet certain conditions. First, I must not have PMO or O'd for a week before attempting to penetrate which is quite hassle. Why do I need to wait so long and plan my sexual encounters?
Second condition, I must not wear protection which is quite bad in the hookup culture of the gay world and lastly, I need to only fuck with my preferred positions which makes sex really limited for me. Essentially, I could only operate when my partner is riding me and with doggy style. Quite graphic, I know.
But it's quite stressful for me needing to meet all these conditions in order to have proper sex.
To tell the honest truth, I have gone back to PMO but not as severe as I used to but that just shows how bad it really is that even in small amounts, it can do this much.
A big reason as to why is because I have moved to a different country where the language is foreign to me. The language is hard to master and not being able to communicate is isolating. I have gotten better with my socializing skills but the language is different and the cultural nuances that I need to know takes time to learn. Needless to say, that is one of the main reasons as to why I unconsciously turned to PMO but to a degree of moderation.
A good half a year of being in this new environment, I found someone that you would call as a fuck buddy. He was the same nationality as I am which is why it was easy to talk to him.
The first time was as expected, I was having trouble getting hard after months of PMO but eventually, I succeed with penetration albeit the erections weren't the best. It was still a win my eyes.
This partnership went on for months and I made some observations throughout. For reference, we had sex once weekly. The longer I saved my cum, or didn't watch porn and masturbated, the better my erections were. Plain and simple. But I would still fall to edging and watching porn and end up sabotaging myself.The sexual encounter I had earlier just proved my speculations, too. I can penetrate but my erections go away once I change positions. I also confirmed that abstinence helps albeit annoying. Eventually, my end goal is to have spontaneous sex that doesn't really require planning and saving my juices. It's annoying.
So would I say that I'm cured from PIED? Yes and no. I've achieved what I set out to do when I first made this journal all those years ago but it is far from ideal. I've discovered kinks that I need to work out.
My updated goals this time around are the following:
1) Get rid of porn - I feel like If I get rid of this shit, most of my problems would go away. I wouldn't have expectations, I wouldn't have desensitized dick, I wouldn't have a problem choosing reality over fantasy. I wouldn't have a problem being the performer on my own show instead of being used to be a watcher.
2) Have better, harder, and quality erections - This just has something to do with the M part of things. That wouldn't have to happen if P wasn't there. It really all points to P. But still, this would be nice to have.
I can't wait for the day that I finally have firm, solid, long lasting erections that would make my partner happy.
Of course, I'd also like to have morning woods and especially spontaneous erections. I'd love to finally get hard when somebody is flirting with me or doing sexy things to me.
3) Rewiring to real people - This is just something that happens if you actually pursue real people. With how busy I've been the last few years, I think it's finally time to chase people instead of porn. In my opinion, this is probably the fastest way to get rid of PIED or at least help with a faster recovery. I already know for a fact that as long as I don't PMO, I know I will have a hard dick.
The true end goal: To have spontaneous sex. I absolutely how I have to meet certain conditions to have sex. I can't wait for the day where I am able to just get it on when I want to and not have to "save" or prepare or plan my sexual encounters. I want to enjoy sex and to do that, PORN IS NOT AN OPTION. I am the star of my show.
So yes, I am back. Older and wiser and ready to finally beat the 90 days and PIED alongside it. This is Day 4.
Day 10
I've been doing really well. I have no urge to look at porn but I've been really tempted to masturbate I know it's just not the right time to introduce it back in my life.
I experience morning wood for the most part but they're inconsistent in terms of hardness. I also don't expect to get spontaneous erections soon but I'm happy that I've made it this far.
Working out has really helped fill the time where porn otherwise would occupy. I still have a lot of time slots to fill with productive things and habits but we take it one day at a time.
I've also started talking to this special person I've met through a special encounter and I want to do this with them. I want to be successful to make love with them when it's time.
Cheers to us, brothers. Make good choices and porn will never be a good choice!
I've been doing really well. I have no urge to look at porn but I've been really tempted to masturbate I know it's just not the right time to introduce it back in my life.
I experience morning wood for the most part but they're inconsistent in terms of hardness. I also don't expect to get spontaneous erections soon but I'm happy that I've made it this far.
Working out has really helped fill the time where porn otherwise would occupy. I still have a lot of time slots to fill with productive things and habits but we take it one day at a time.
I've also started talking to this special person I've met through a special encounter and I want to do this with them. I want to be successful to make love with them when it's time.
Cheers to us, brothers. Make good choices and porn will never be a good choice!
Day 15
Fifteenth day is in a few hours and I gotta say it's been really tempting to introduce masturbation back but I just know now is not the right time. I've been so horny especially when I'm free so I've gotta really find some ways to stay busy and keep my mind off it.
It's crazy how porn is so ingrained within mainstream media nowadays. Those definitely don't help but at least it's different than intentionally seeking it.
Sensitivity has definitely been returning slowly but surely as it can get hard with the lightest of touch. I notice this when taking showers and when applying body lotion. I'm happy of my results even if they're not the best and even if this journey hasn't been the cleanest.
The ultimate goal is to be better than yesterday and not necessarily to achieve perfect results everytime. Sometimes, that is the case for most journeys.
Anyways, here's to making our future selves thank our past selves for making good choices today. This is the biggest form of self-love which porn is not! Greatness is coming, brothers!
Fifteenth day is in a few hours and I gotta say it's been really tempting to introduce masturbation back but I just know now is not the right time. I've been so horny especially when I'm free so I've gotta really find some ways to stay busy and keep my mind off it.
It's crazy how porn is so ingrained within mainstream media nowadays. Those definitely don't help but at least it's different than intentionally seeking it.
Sensitivity has definitely been returning slowly but surely as it can get hard with the lightest of touch. I notice this when taking showers and when applying body lotion. I'm happy of my results even if they're not the best and even if this journey hasn't been the cleanest.
The ultimate goal is to be better than yesterday and not necessarily to achieve perfect results everytime. Sometimes, that is the case for most journeys.
Anyways, here's to making our future selves thank our past selves for making good choices today. This is the biggest form of self-love which porn is not! Greatness is coming, brothers!
Day 16
So last night I've tried masturbating and I already knew I could get it up. I was just so bored and wanted to test my progress. I am happy I could get it up just imagining past sexual encounters and even sensation alone however, the hardness of the erection isn't where I want it to be. I'd say 60-70% at best.
I also tried getting hard in different positions since that is one of my problem areas when having sex. I lose erection when I switch positions. Glad to say that it's responding especially when standing. It's still meh in comparison to just laying down but I've always done it this way so it makes sense.
Needless to say, I didn't O but ideally, I would love to refrain from doing all this until I reach day 90. By then, I'd love to explore MO more especially if I don't get a partner.
Gym is going well. Looking to adjust my workout regimen this February and looking forward to all those changes. Also hoping to reintroduce more cardio to lose some body fat.
All in all, quite a great start of the year for me. Hoping that February gives me more concentration to do other things and fill the time PMO has left.
Make good choices whether small or big, porn is not an option, and greatness is coming!
So last night I've tried masturbating and I already knew I could get it up. I was just so bored and wanted to test my progress. I am happy I could get it up just imagining past sexual encounters and even sensation alone however, the hardness of the erection isn't where I want it to be. I'd say 60-70% at best.
I also tried getting hard in different positions since that is one of my problem areas when having sex. I lose erection when I switch positions. Glad to say that it's responding especially when standing. It's still meh in comparison to just laying down but I've always done it this way so it makes sense.
Needless to say, I didn't O but ideally, I would love to refrain from doing all this until I reach day 90. By then, I'd love to explore MO more especially if I don't get a partner.
Gym is going well. Looking to adjust my workout regimen this February and looking forward to all those changes. Also hoping to reintroduce more cardio to lose some body fat.
All in all, quite a great start of the year for me. Hoping that February gives me more concentration to do other things and fill the time PMO has left.
Make good choices whether small or big, porn is not an option, and greatness is coming!