I relapsed yesterday. Somehow my mind tricked me into downloading and watching porn. At first, I only wanted to watch without touching myself in order to see if it would get me aroused. But after a while I started touching and suddenly became extremely aroused. I stopped before I had an orgasm, but I guess my dick was already overstimulated and sensitive so after about 20 seconds, I came nonetheless. It was good. It felt really nice (although it was ruined).
Well, afterwards I felt quite stupid. It sucks to relapse so close to my 90 day goal. But actually, I feel quite good today. Last night I had strong urges to masturbate again, even thought about watching porn. But I didn't. That's one good thing. Also, I have no signs of a flatline and I'm somehow ok with my failure.
So what now? I don't think that I will start a 90 day reboot again. The official end of my reboot would have been on July 26th, so I think I'll stay away from PMO until I reach that date. And from that day on, I will try to stay away from porn but allow myself occasional masturbation and having sex.
I mean, rebooting is not about counting days, it's about changing habits. And I have already made progress in changing my behaviour. This relapse yesterday won't tear all of that apart.