Hi all!
Been a porn addict for basically all my life. Started by staying up late watching "erotic movies" (soft core) when I was around 12. Then I bought my first porn magazines in my early teens, "like any normal teenager". My habits of staying up late then changed from being maybe once a week to several times a week. When high speed internet porn came I was stuck. For most of my life I had more days fapping than not. The habit has been a way for me to deal with anxiety and performance pressure at school and later work. It has severely altered my ability to connect with the people around me and especially with women. For most of my life I've not been able to orgasm when I was with a woman. I have had a quite mild ED from time to time.
This Saturday my Girlfriend and I broke up. I knew that I wanted to stop fapping, but I wanted her to mind her own business. She's been nothing but supporting through the whole process and breaking up made me realise this. My habits have built a wall around me and this made us drift apart for the last several months. I'm seeing a therapist, I'm reaching out to friends and family. I want to quit. I want to heal. I want to reconnect with my friends and family, but most of all with my self.
I've been trying to quit several years with endless relapses. This is day 3 of my current reboot.
I feel ashamed of the inability to control my self. Thanks Gabe for starting RN!
Been a porn addict for basically all my life. Started by staying up late watching "erotic movies" (soft core) when I was around 12. Then I bought my first porn magazines in my early teens, "like any normal teenager". My habits of staying up late then changed from being maybe once a week to several times a week. When high speed internet porn came I was stuck. For most of my life I had more days fapping than not. The habit has been a way for me to deal with anxiety and performance pressure at school and later work. It has severely altered my ability to connect with the people around me and especially with women. For most of my life I've not been able to orgasm when I was with a woman. I have had a quite mild ED from time to time.
This Saturday my Girlfriend and I broke up. I knew that I wanted to stop fapping, but I wanted her to mind her own business. She's been nothing but supporting through the whole process and breaking up made me realise this. My habits have built a wall around me and this made us drift apart for the last several months. I'm seeing a therapist, I'm reaching out to friends and family. I want to quit. I want to heal. I want to reconnect with my friends and family, but most of all with my self.
I've been trying to quit several years with endless relapses. This is day 3 of my current reboot.
I feel ashamed of the inability to control my self. Thanks Gabe for starting RN!