The past days were a huge milestone.
Days 61-65
In the days of my vacation, I woke up with stable 100% MW every day. This had not happened for at least 13 years. Thrilled to have this back, felt like a teen once again!
Vacation went pretty smoothly. Did have P flashbacks and urges, severe at times, but controlled everything. My so texted me many times and in a quite passionate manner. Therefore, seeing that the no contact and distancing thing had been thrown out the window, upon returning from vacation, I visited her place, and we had, well.. actual sex.
Day 66
Right after entering her house it starts lol.. PIV sex for 20 min with condom use, 2 O’s, and tried quite a few stances. No world records there, but it is immense progress for me. The whole experience had so much passion and connection.
Erections were getting weaker at some points I have to admit, especially in the more demanding stances. Also had to “prepare” a 100% erection with my touch before penetrating, since I still do not respond fully to a woman’s touch. No need to be a perfectionist at this point though.. For the largest part of PIV I was at 80-100%. Received quite many BJs and kept erections. Much work to be done in terms of retrieving full sensitivity, but I am getting there! I really felt things in my penis this time when penetrating.
It is just incredible. Somewhere like 2 months ago erections were impossible even with the most extreme P. I feel like a whole new person.
I am so thankful that this happened as early as day 66, given my long and embarrassing track record with PMO, my nonexistent experience with women, and also considering that other people need many months off PMO to have successful PIV sex.
Fighting the urges and staying off P paid off. The understanding and patience from my so was also a very crucial point.
Day 1. No erection at all, embarrassment, despair
Day 33. Semi successful PIV sex, sensitivity starts to return, confidence starts to rise
Day 66. Successful, passionate, PIV sex.
Notice that the days weirdly align lol.
Day 67
A 70 % MW today, that did not last for long.. probably I am spent from yesterdays deeds.. Libido and urges have been reduced considerably. Maybe a mini flatline awaits? Going about my day doing productive things. Brought back from the dead my 3D printer, which has not been used for 2 years. An interesting hobby which I killed because of my PMO outplacing every single positive habit in my life.
So, the no PMO journey continues for me, there is still a lot of ground to be covered. Hope that I will be given many more opportunities to rewire. If so, I am very optimistic for a full recovery soon!