I feel ya. Same. I also didn't make it thru the Christmas fuckery clean, it's frustrating.Day 0
Not proud but I broke down and watched porn on Christmas Eve. Been watching since. Really disappointed with myself. Als, I had a load of plans/tasks to do over the hols and because of porn they got put on the backburner too.
Really pissed. Not sure yet what is the best way out of this. I know that porn too is a syntom. It's like a crutch I use sometimes as a way to prove to myself that I am a no good piece of shit. Anyways... not nice thoughts but gotta face em if I want to crush this fucking thing for good.
I think for the New Year I need to change up. These past two-three months I haven't been in control of my life. Not having fun. Not being social enough. Not being present enough and not happy enough. I need to change my life fundamentally. Otherwise, I'll be caught in this cycle for ever.