I'm a porn addict (by far the crappiest, lamest addiction ever)

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forceisstrong

New Member
Yeah, so hi. I'm Irish. As a people, we've our fair share of alcoholics and gamblers, yet somehow (and I don't know how) porn got its hooks in me. I guess I've been a porn addict on and off for over ten years now. And I hate it. It makes me less smart, less social, it messes with my mind and my confidence. It eats away at my self worth. Recently I've been trying to quit but I keep relapsing. I was having a porn free July until this weekend when I relapsed again and now I feel pretty crummy. So I figure maybe the only way to do this (quit porn for good) is to reach out to others who're going through the same thing and maybe we'll help each other get through this.

Anyone want to join/message in this thread is welcome. I'm gonna post regularly. Let you all know (and remind myself) how I'm getting on.

Today's day 1. The journey begins...
 
Wolfman

Wolfman

Active Member
Welcome forceisstrong! It's monumentally hard, if not impossible, to quit something like this entirely on your own. We all had "help" getting addicted (the industrial pornography complex), so now we need help kicking it. And we have every right to make the process as easy as we can, and we can do this by reaching out, starting a journal (as you have done), educating yourself (check the resources on this forum and on youtube, I can recommend Universal Man's series on sexual self-mastery) and making real practical changes in your life.

The most important step has been taken, you've realized the problem and decided to do something about it. That's crazy amounts of courage! Tap into that wellspring and relapse may soon be a distant memory of the past (but if not, reflect and learn, and keep going). Wish you plenty of strength on this journey, forceisstrong!
 
King Leer

King Leer

Active Member
forceisstrong said:
Yeah, so hi. I'm Irish. As a people, we've our fair share of alcoholics and gamblers, yet somehow (and I don't know how) porn got its hooks in me. I guess I've been a porn addict on and off for over ten years now. And I hate it. It makes me less smart, less social, it messes with my mind and my confidence. It eats away at my self worth. Recently I've been trying to quit but I keep relapsing. I was having a porn free July until this weekend when I relapsed again and now I feel pretty crummy. So I figure maybe the only way to do this (quit porn for good) is to reach out to others who're going through the same thing and maybe we'll help each other get through this.

Anyone want to join/message in this thread is welcome. I'm gonna post regularly. Let you all know (and remind myself) how I'm getting on.

Today's day 1. The journey begins...
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Haha yeah I agree absolutely the lamest addiction ever. You are a third wheel. Good luck on your journey of self worth!
 
E

Escapeandnevercomeback

Respected Member
forceisstrong said:
Yeah, so hi. I'm Irish. As a people, we've our fair share of alcoholics and gamblers, yet somehow (and I don't know how) porn got its hooks in me. I guess I've been a porn addict on and off for over ten years now. And I hate it. It makes me less smart, less social, it messes with my mind and my confidence. It eats away at my self worth. Recently I've been trying to quit but I keep relapsing. I was having a porn free July until this weekend when I relapsed again and now I feel pretty crummy. So I figure maybe the only way to do this (quit porn for good) is to reach out to others who're going through the same thing and maybe we'll help each other get through this.

Anyone want to join/message in this thread is welcome. I'm gonna post regularly. Let you all know (and remind myself) how I'm getting on.

Today's day 1. The journey begins...
Click to expand...
I feel you, man. Porn fucked up my brain. I wanted to complete the July challenge that they have on reddit nofap, and then I failed at the end... After 50 days without porn, I binged and since then I've binged 2 more times... I'm depressed about all this shit.
 
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forceisstrong

New Member
Thanks for all of the kind words and good advice. So far, I've been doing good this last week. But I know there is a long journey to recovery ahead. But I'm doing lots of meditation and staying positive and healthy and so, yeah, I'll keep fighting!!! Just knowing other people are going through similar stuff and that you're all so supportive and positive is amazing and really inspiring - so thank you all!!!
 
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forceisstrong

New Member
Escapeandnevercomeback said:
I feel you, man. Porn fucked up my brain. I wanted to complete the July challenge that they have on reddit nofap, and then I failed at the end... After 50 days without porn, I binged and since then I've binged 2 more times... I'm depressed about all this shit.
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Hey, Escapeandnevercomeback... if you want to start the August challenge here with me then let's f**king do it. And you doing 50 days without porn -- I'm in awe of you, seriously. Just do some analysis about why you failed so that next time you won't fall into the same trap again. Maybe you got drunk, got angry... doesn't matter. Just recognize what the trigger was and learn from it. Porn fucks up my brain too. But doing something like meditation really does help. And staying away from this lame, bullshit porn habit/addiction/whatever really does help too. So keep strong my friend and keep healthy!!!
 
L

legal_alien

Member
Please do check the thread below and let me know if we could do this together.

Adventure of a lifetime - The sobriety chain

Hello people I am a 34 year old married man. I have spent the last two decades expending my life on this meaningless, unworthy, and disastrous addiction. Like most people here, PMO had left me a weak man and has stripped me of my composure, of my vitality, of my intelligence, and taken...
forum.rebootnation.org forum.rebootnation.org
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
First, I forgot my old password and this website wouldn't send me a reset email - so I've had to create a new account.

Anyways... this is a check in.

Two weeks cold turkey and I'm doing okay. I'm doing a lot of meditation. It helps to keep my brain focused and on the right path. I would recommend Sam Harris's meditation app to you all. It has daily meditations and also Sam goes into the theory behind it. The apps called Waking Up. And since I've been meditating and free from porn these past two weeks, I do feel like I'm now starting to "wake up". I've noticed lately that I'm feeling more confident, more like the old me.

I read Oliver Stone's memoir recently (Stone's a filmmaker, Platoon, JFK, Wall Streer, etc). There is an interesting quote in it about his own cocaine addiction (italics are mine)... ""Cocaine is doing this to me. It's dulling my mind. It's taking my brain." This was quite but devastating knowledge because… because I loved cocaine… And hooked is when you're controlled by something other than your willpower."

This struck a cord with me. I think the reason behind my previous relapses is pornography had it hooks real deep. It had taken away my willpower, my inner strength. But I think practices such as meditation help to build back focus of mind, willpower, inner strength.

Stay healthy and strong!
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Wolfman said:
Welcome forceisstrong! It's monumentally hard, if not impossible, to quit something like this entirely on your own. We all had "help" getting addicted (the industrial pornography complex), so now we need help kicking it. And we have every right to make the process as easy as we can, and we can do this by reaching out, starting a journal (as you have done), educating yourself (check the resources on this forum and on youtube, I can recommend Universal Man's series on sexual self-mastery) and making real practical changes in your life.

The most important step has been taken, you've realized the problem and decided to do something about it. That's crazy amounts of courage! Tap into that wellspring and relapse may soon be a distant memory of the past (but if not, reflect and learn, and keep going). Wish you plenty of strength on this journey, forceisstrong!
Click to expand...
Hey, man, sorry meant to reply to you ages ago. Really appreciate the sound advice and encouraging words. Yeah, it's been two weeks. So far so good. My head is feeling really good this week. I do meditation mornings and evenings and that's really been helping. It stops my brain from fantasizing about porn, etc. No idea how it works. Just really glad that it does work.

Keep fighting the good fight, buddy!
 
jonazo91

jonazo91

Active Member
forceisstrong2 said:
First, I forgot my old password and this website wouldn't send me a reset email - so I've had to create a new account.

Anyways... this is a check in.

Two weeks cold turkey and I'm doing okay. I'm doing a lot of meditation. It helps to keep my brain focused and on the right path. I would recommend Sam Harris's meditation app to you all. It has daily meditations and also Sam goes into the theory behind it. The apps called Waking Up. And since I've been meditating and free from porn these past two weeks, I do feel like I'm now starting to "wake up". I've noticed lately that I'm feeling more confident, more like the old me.

I read Oliver Stone's memoir recently (Stone's a filmmaker, Platoon, JFK, Wall Streer, etc). There is an interesting quote in it about his own cocaine addiction (italics are mine)... ""Cocaine is doing this to me. It's dulling my mind. It's taking my brain." This was quite but devastating knowledge because… because I loved cocaine… And hooked is when you're controlled by something other than your willpower."

This struck a cord with me. I think the reason behind my previous relapses is pornography had it hooks real deep. It had taken away my willpower, my inner strength. But I think practices such as meditation help to build back focus of mind, willpower, inner strength.

Stay healthy and strong!
Click to expand...
Oliver Stone's memoir sounds like a hell of a read. He's a very interesting guy. And anyone who's kicked an addiction has lessons for us, I'd say, not to mention that they've shown themselves to be a very strong person. Hope you're doing well on your journey.
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
Yeah, so this week I had to go to a mate's mum's funeral and it being an Irish funeral, I got steaming drunk. Anyways, hungover the next day I was feeling sorry for myself and binged on porn. I then kind of spiraled. I'm not feeling good about any of this. Angry as hell at myself. I'm going to beat the stupid fucking shitbag of an addiction so help me god. No more drink for a few months as I've discovered that's when I'm weak. Anyway, I'm getting my shit together, doing lots of meditation (it helps) and getting my head right.

Porn is like a vampire that sucks all the joy of life. This fucker is getting a stake through his heart.
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
jonazo91 said:
Oliver Stone's memoir sounds like a hell of a read. He's a very interesting guy. And anyone who's kicked an addiction has lessons for us, I'd say, not to mention that they've shown themselves to be a very strong person. Hope you're doing well on your journey.
Click to expand...
Yeah, it is. Really recommended. He's also one crazy man! Thanks for the well wishes, Jonazo. Same right back to you man.
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
I haven't written anything since the 20th Aug. I'll try to write more regularly.

Two weeks now and no porn. I'm doing meditation every day. Also, I've set it up so I can't watch porn on my computer/phone. I'm locked out/can't assess it. This does help. It stops me from going, "Ah I'll just look at one site" and then it goes downhill from there.

There are reasons - but the main reason - that I want to quit this fucking thing is for my mental health. You really are only your mind. And you can't live, can't grow, can't create a life without you mind. And porn really fucks my mind up. It distorts it. It kinda turns me into someone else... someone less intelligent, anxious, nervous, muddled, basically a loser.

No more. I'm not that guy.

Life is there to be lived and enjoyed and embraced. Two weeks without porn are two good weeks. Another two weeks and that'll be a good month.

The journey continues...
 
forceisstrong2

forceisstrong2

Active Member
My aim this week (other than avoiding at all costs porn) was to avoid all triggers - ie: checking out hot girls on google, instagram, etc. I know that the whole idea of the reboot is that we cut out all images, etc, but I guess I was telling myself that checking out cute girls on the web was doing no harm. But it does. It weakens the mind, it's a stepping stone back to watching porn. So this week I've been avoiding all triggers. And I must say, it's really helped. I feel better, stronger, mentally alert. It's a long road to recovery but every little victory is worth celebrating.
 
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